FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 150 "Ready Service"

*Tsaniya Tabriz

Next day.

I'm back sniffling. I couldn't let go of my mother's hand until I chose to drop to the terrace floor. Just like a little boy whining. I thought my seventeen would still be understood if I acted like this. I don't know. I just want to buy time. But my mom said she had to go home. My mother is getting ready. All the stuff has been put in the car. Kang Bimo was also ready to take my mother home. I can't stand it. Why is this farewell so painful? But, my mother again said that my ummik farewell to me seventeen years ago must have been more painful than this. He said I had to go legowo. I should be able to deal with whatever will happen after my mother leaves, the one who also keeps my past a secret.

"Son, nyuwun tulung yo sampeyan who is loud here. Maybe after this there'll be an answer to all your anxiety, son. Believe that! Believe me, son, kabeh iki wis dadi kersane Gusti (believe, son, all this has become the will of God)." Then my mother hugged. Kissing head. Duyel-uyel cheek.

I can't digest some of my mother said. I ignored that. My mother told me to stand up.

Everyone said goodbye and a word of thanks. I hugged my mother again. I kissed the back of his hand.

"Doane Ibuk broke up. Don't fidget, yo."

I nodded. I rubbed my wet face with my veil.

I got in the car. Staring at me for a long time while glazed over. He also smiled as much as he made up. When the car drove slowly, mother's hands immediately waved.

"Momuuuk? Oh, my God, Buuuuuk." Ummik immediately greeted my body from behind. My body suddenly stiffened. I want to hug ummik, but I can't. So, ummik was the one who did it until I felt the warmth of a mother's embrace, my biological mother.

"Iki you Ibuk lo, Nduk. Iki Ummikmu's. Ummik yo gati sampeyan."

Translated: (This is also Ibuk lo, Nduk. It's Ummikmu. Ummik also loves you)

I was stiff in the arms of Ummik. After the car disappeared from the boarding gate, already crossing the road, ummik led me in. Ummik whispered so I could wipe away my tears. Ummik also said I will get what I want in this pesantren. Whether it's just a word of tranquillizer or indeed a promise that will ummik keep.

Another car came hissing. I, ummik, and Abah turned at the same time. I think who they are. Ummik exclaimed cheerfully, turning to Abah while saying, "Well, Bah, how come dugine gelis men?"

Translation: (Well, Bah, how come so fast?)

"Nduk, that's as soft as yo."

I seem to know that car. But, I can't guess until two guys get out of there. Why at this age have I dealt with a sad past and a soul mate who feels closer? O my Lord, as my mother told me. This is the best for me. The test to beat me.

Mr. Nizam and his mother were greeted with a wide ummik smile. Earlier this morning I told Bang Fakhar not to ask Pak Nizam to come here first, because the word ummik, last night when tahajud abah wanted to establish first with Istikharah prayer. But why did he even come with his mother? It's coincidence. It was as if he knew that abah and ummik were asking for it.

"Masyaallaaaaah," greeted ummik while shaking hands with his mother Mr. Nizam.

"Healthy, haggard?"

"Thank God all families are healthy" his mother responded.

I watched Mr. Nizam only briefly. I approached with a thin smile.

*Nizami's Ibban

Relieved to be able to visit Al-Furqan again. I just came with my mom. The plan is we want to go back to talking about who has the right to accept the patrem. That little kris I brought, it's in my right pants pocket. Some nights I dreamt of that keris. I dreamed of Mustika who gave the kris, it happened almost exactly the same when he came home. He reminded me to give it to the right person. Don't get it wrong. And, in the days before, the face of Fizah had always been a shadow wherever I went. When combined, the keris is like having chosen Fizah as its master. In addition, my willingness to return is because I dream of silence to Abah Bahar. He said he would tell me a lot. Also the Mini Ma'am asked me to come because I will get a big fact about Fizah that the Mini Ma'am can't tell, it's not her right to tell a story. I remember a while ago, Gus Fakhar asked me to forget my match with Fizah. But, it did not dampen my desire to come to Al-Furqan, trying to propose to Fizah once again.

We had a very warm welcome. There are no pleasantries. Abah Bahar asked me something.

"Sampeyan ngajine wis duwur yo, Zam?"

Translation: (You used to have a high salary huh, Zam?)

Translated: (How, yes, Bah. Just the prayer)

"Job pangestune. Abah wis percoyo's. Guys until the nembe champion siji, yo, Pamekasan neng race?"

Translation: (Do not ask for prayer blessing. Abah already believes. Listen you're just champion one, huh race in Pamekasan?)

"Thank God, Bah."

"Father upomo lo, Zam. Upomo. Dene kok sampeyan ndak kerso yo ndak. Upomone sampeyan ngabdi neng kene selawase rakyo ready? But, sampeyan kudu honestly karo awake dewe."

Translated: (This is if lo, Zam. Suppose that. If you're not ready, that's okay. If you stay here forever, you should be ready, right? But you have to be honest with yourself)

I want to hear your intentions more clearly. But, it seems less beautiful. That question has another meaning.

"Copy, Ma?" ask Abah Bahar.

"If I go, Kiai. I resigned to Kiai how good my son is."

"Saestu rido to, Mom?" (What's rida, ma'am?)

Abah Bahar smiled wryly. I watched the flat Fizah. I can't guess what he's feeling right now.

"Dadi mbesok yen Fakhar wis wayahe marriage contract, sampeyan karo Ibukmu not kandani maneh."

Translation: (So tomorrow if Fakhar is the time for a marriage contract, you and your mother Abah call again)

I honestly don't really understand.

"Snack, Bah."

"Santri kene ki needs a builder koyo sampeyan tilawah, Zam. Lawong arepe MTQ ngono kae, santri kenek enek sing dakahokne. But, kok yo sekek saiki Abah durung nemokne builder sing suitable. Mbiyen pas sampeyan jek mondok kene iseh enek."

Translation: (Santri here needs a tilawah builder like you, Zam. When the MTQ season, santri here is something to ask. But until now Abah has not found a suitable builder. It used to be that you still mondok here still exist)

I can't respond much. Of all that Abah Bahar said, you have a lot of hopes for me. In fact, if to just look for people who are ready to serve, I think santri here is also a lot of qualified. But, perhaps what sounds heavy is to serve here forever.

"Zam, your patremmu kae endi?" (Zam, where is your patrem?)

I'm ejecting. I offered it to him.

"No gowo yo, Zam." (Take it, Zam)

"The Huge, Bah."

"Fakhar's wedding bar, maybe not something kandani."

Translation: (Later after Fakhar's wedding, you Abah tell me something)

I did not say what my true arrival meant.

Thankfully, on the way, I finished a chapter. To extend all those who support Fizah, I ask permission not to go up inshaallah until a few more days, maybe until Monday. Because today I was traveling to Pamekasan, following the 29th Provincial MTQ competition. From Tulungagung Regency, there are 43 participants who will perform according to the schedule that has been determined. For that I beg the sincerity of all and ask for his prayer for the caravan Tulungagung, especially myself. Please pray so that it can perform optimally. I believe mother's prayer must be mustajab. Thank you in advance.. Barakakallahu._____🙏😊