My Heart Was Wounded Deep
Chapter 25's

Doctor Harris took his equipment into a room. "The stitches won't be more than a few seconds" the doctor said, as soon as he returned.

Kikan wanted to continue his argument, but the two of them were clearly united against him, otherwise the doctor could not have insisted on sewing his wound.

When he finished, Doctor Harris asked Rey to talk to him for a while. Then they went to the living room, where they spoke in a voice so slow that Kikan could not hear them. God, he hates this. It was completely against all his own promises when he got out of prison. He doesn't want to give Rey any reason to complain about him, or be unhappy with his presence in the city. Not wanting to force the man to spend money or make it difficult. He just doesn't want to deal with Rey and just wants to make peace with her.

Kikan decided he had to think of a way to pay for the doctor's services. That was the only dignified act he could do. But right now he's going to let Rey pay him first. Once you have enough money, you can replace it immediately.

Rey drove Kikan home. Fortunately, his mother's dog was not outside when they entered the yard, but all the rubbish that made Kikan ashamed remained there and Rey saw. Kikan hates it because there's no way Rey can't see it.

Doctors had given him local anesthesia when sewing his wound and some pills to relieve the pain. Because his head was no longer pounding, Kikan was able to get off the pickup before Rey had time to circle the car to open the door.

"Thank you very much for your help" he said as he walked past the man. "I don't know how you made the payment with that doctor, but I'd appreciate it if you'd send me the bill. I might have to pay some other bills, but I can handle it later. And I'll buy you a new shirt, too." Kikan had returned Rey's shirt, but it was now clumped on the floor of the car. So wet was the blood, Rey couldn't use it.

Realizing that Rey may not want to touch the shirt, with warnings about the danger of blood as much has been reported lately, Kikan returns to the pickup and extends his hand inside. "Here, I'll... Throw this shirt away so you don't have to.."

Rey catches Kikan's arm. "Leave it."

Kikan did what he was told to do in case Rey planned to keep it. Maybe it's his favorite shirt. "I was tested for AIDS and other infectious diseases before I was released, and I'm clean."

"It's nice to know" Rey said, but it doesn't sound too caring. "Let's get in."

Rey insists on wrapping it into the trailer. Kikan regretted not having finished fixing the trailer. He has worked as hard as he can, but other improvements require money he does not have.

Rey holds the door while Kikan steps in. "You need to rest, as the doctor said" he said

"I'll go straight to sleep." anticipating the relief he would feel when crawling into bed, and trying to forget the humiliation after letting Rey save himself, Kikan turned to say goodbye. But Rey did not stop at the stairs. Kikan was forced to retreat because the man followed him into the house.

"He also said you didn't eat enough" Rey said with a frown.

Why did Rey enter her living room? Kikan doesn't want him here. This place doesn't look quite adequate. He plans to clean it up so it looks appropriate before Rey comes to check on him." My body is not too big."

"Nutrition is not the same as a small body."

Why are they talking about their diet? That's none of their business. "Well, you know what people say about food in prison." Kikan said it was as if he was joking, but he did deliberately eat a little maybe. Food was handled by other inmates.

"She also said there should be someone who wakes you up every few hours."

"We don't know yet" Rey said. "Better watch out than regret later."

"okay." Kikan stood at the door. Maybe now Rey will leave and Kikan can stop holding back from glancing at her. The hunger she feels is more closely related to physical touch than food.

"OK what?" Ask Rey.

"I'll... I'll be careful."

"I asked who would wake you up."

"My mom, of course." Kikan pointed to his mother's house. "He lives there."

Rey frowned again. "But it never comes out."

Lis's mother felt safer if people didn't see her.

"She's gonna check on me" but it's a lie. He didn't even plan to tell his mother what was going on. He's gonna take a nap. Then he would recuperate long enough to be able to make some bracelets so he could pay the doctor's bills.

" You sure? " said Rey.

Kikan tries to strengthen his voice, hoping he can convince Rey. "Very sure. Go home, I'm sure Jason's wondering where you are."

Rey seemed offended that Kikan was in such a hurry to throw her away. "Look, I know you don't like me very much, and I don't blame you. You're going through a lot of suffering and it has everything to do with me. But I don't want to make things worse. I'm just trying to help."

"Because you think I need help when I don't" Kikan said. "And I don't know what makes you think that I don't like you, and I'm so grateful for everything you've done for Jason. And you're an amazing father."

"Thank you for the compliment." Rey muttered.

Thanks to the painkillers given by the doctor. Kikan's headache was gone, but his mind was not completely clear. Kikan knew that because he looked at Rey's chest without even trying to hold back. Worse, he'd love to touch her. "What did you say?"

"Whether I'm a good father or not, it has nothing to do with what I just said."

"There certainly is." Kikan denied, trying hard to keep his mind intact. "It's important that you know how much I appreciate your efforts.... Everything you've done has made Jason's life so happy. He's a great kid. And now you sympathize with me because I'm his mother. But it's not a burden you have to carry. I'm not as weak as you can see. This bandage just makes me look pathetic."

Kikan laughed even though Rey didn't laugh with him." The point is I'm not the one you need to care about. And just to calm you down, because we didn't have a chance to discuss it, at least as adults I did before was really very disturbing. Don't think it'll happen again. Honestly speaking, it was nothing more than the attitude of the heavy schoolgirl to the extent of crossing the line." The painkiller made Kikan scatter without puffiness.