My Heart Was Wounded Deep
Chapter 61's

Jason pulled up a chair and sat down. "Papa, do you want Mom to take you back?"

" No." Answer Rey

" I'm not sure about that. I'm sure he doesn't want to care about papa, but....."

Rey sipped his drink. "But...."

" Mom actually cares."

" He cares?." Said Rey. "How did you know?"

" Papa would be blind if he didn't see it. He thinks Papa is an extraordinary man."

Rey could feel Kikan appreciating it. Kikan treats her as if she is special and always has been. But Kikan loses faith in his own ability to be loved, and in Rey's ability to love him. Without that trust, Kikan is unlikely to respond. "While that's true, your mother felt she'd be happier if I didn't bother her."

" How could you think that?" ask Jason.

" I hurt him once. Very very. I don't want to do that anymore."

" Not then" said Jason.

In Jason's eyes, life was that simple. Rey shook her head." When you're involved with someone else, you don't always know how the relationship will end. There's a lot we have to work out before we can make an important decision."

" Papa still has to start."

" It's different, because of what he's been through and how I've been there. And if we're united, it'll affect you, whether our relationship works or not."

Jason raised both hands. "Don't use me as an excuse."

" Reason?"

" To play safe. You guys have never been together, not all my life, so I wouldn't be too disappointed if your relationship didn't work out. I think Papa should take this chance."

While exhaling deeply, Rey observed the drink in the bottle she was holding. "We'll see." Rey said.

♪

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Jason stopped by Kikan's house after training on Wednesday, and after Thursday's game after school, because the rehearsal was delayed to Friday Kikan wanted the room for Jason to be perfect before the boy saw it, but it turned out that Jason helped get it done. They painted while repairing some damage together. Kikan was so impressed by what Rey had taught him. Jason can barely do anything that involves home or building repairs. Although only sixteen years old, he could already teach his mother what they could do to improve the house.

Sometimes Kikan makes Jason dinner if Rey hasn't returned from her job. Kikan had no TV or gaming devices, so the home improvement gave them a rush while they chatted.

On Friday, Jason called Tristan and asked him to come over, because Tristan wanted to have a bracelet. Then Jason uses his phone to open Facebook and shows Kikan the girl he's going to dance with at school.

Kikan loved every minute he spent with Jason. Everything seemed too beautiful, until Jason had to leave on Friday night. He had just accompanied his son to Jeep when his mother called him from the top of the stairs.

" Are you not going to visit your grandmother?" Obviously Miss Lis wasn't talking to Kikan. As usual, his voice sounded harsh. Assuming Jason didn't know how to return his son's greeting, Kikan whispered, "Maybe you can say that you don't have to do more than that."

Jason's just getting used to having a mom in his life. Kikan did not want to make her feel uncomfortable by trying to force a relationship with her grandmother as well. But at the same time, he knew how much it meant to his mother if she could meet her granddaughter.

With a hesitant look, Jason walked to an open place. "Hi Nek."

Jason stuffed both hands into his pants pocket. "Next year of my last year in high school."

" You've been here a lot." asked Ms. Lis.

There was a moment of silence, but before Kikan spoke to fill the void, Jason said, "My mom lives here now."

" I've lived here all my life" Lis said. The statement is an accusation of abandonment.

" Mommy! Kikan starts to protest, but Jason cuts him off.

" right. We never had a chance to get to know each other" Jason said.

Ma'am. Lis didn't say anything, and Jason pulled out the car keys again. But Miss Lis stopped her.

" I have a dog if you want to see" he said.

" He'll see her next time, ma'am. She had to go home soon" Kikan said, but Jason surprised her by starting to step near the porch of her grandmother's house.

" I can go there for a minute" Jason told her in a whispering voice.

Inevitably Kikan felt panicked at the thought of his son entering the house. Kikan was worried that Jason would be annoyed by what he saw so he would be reluctant to come again, for fear that the mother would later demand the child to visit him as well.

" Jason, it's okay if.." muttered Kikan, and urged for Jason to wait while he himself called his mother's little dog.

Jason sat on the porch as Kikan returned with his mother's pet. Jason seemed to like them, he played with them while Bu Lis stood in the doorway, peering out. He asks questions every few seconds, and Jason answers them. In general it went much better than Kikan feared. But when Bu Lis suggested that Jason step in to see some of his antiques collection, Kikan mediated more emphatically.

"No, that's enough for tonight" Kikan said. "I don't want to make her dad wonder why she hasn't gotten home yet."

"Can't he call? Doesn't he have a cell phone like any other kid right now?" Miss Lis urged.

Apparently, her mother was happy to be accompanied by Jason, meaning Kikan knew her mother would deny it.

" He's been calling" Kikan said. He should have gone home thirty minutes ago. We better not make it hard on him." Jason had told his father, so he didn't have to come home soon. But Kikan urges her to leave immediately because she doesn't want to make Rey feel like their son is spending too much time with her.

" All right!" with that Miss Lis called her dog and slammed the door.

" I'm sorry. She should have said good-bye," Kikan whispered, but Jason just grinned as if he didn't mind then held his mother's hand as they walked towards his car.

"I'm so lucky to have a child like you" Kikan said thoughtlessly as Jason let go of his hand. "I love you."

Kikan wanted to hold back his last sentence. He was afraid it was too soon, that Jason would feel uncomfortable. But the boy turned and hugged her.

"I'm glad you're home" she said.

"I hope my arrival here doesn't bother your father. Just let me know if anything I've done is causing her any trouble, okay?"

"Mom doesn't cause any problems. Papa really likes you. He's been waiting for Sunday's dinner."

"For sure!" Kikan said with a laugh.

Jason closed the Jeep door. "i'm serious. He mentioned it in front of me many times."