My Heart Was Wounded Deep
Chapter 26's

Kikan is happy, can bring up this problem when he has a chance alone with Rey. There's no way he's calling Rey to say all this. He wouldn't call the man for any reason except in an emergency and he had to call Jason. "You are the first young man... Well, you know.."

Rey looked at him so late that Kikan could no longer return the gaze. "I remember. I'm there too."

"I thought you'd forgotten everything, but it might be natural for a girl in that situation to feel something.... Bonding. You can understand that, right?"

Rey didn't say she could. He was silent, so Kikan kept babbling.

"I was just too naive to realize that.. The saying 'I love you' to a young man has a different meaning than a certain girl understands, that's all. I thought we both meant it, though how could we be so young?" Oh my god, what am I talking about? Think Kikan.

Does that make sense? He tried harder to explain it. "I was too lulled by those three words and by... ****. I'm really drunk on you." Kikan laughed again to show how ridiculous he used to be. "Then I panicked when I knew I was going to have a baby."

Kikan tucked the hair, which was stiff with blood, behind the ears. "I'm not trying to find an excuse to justify my actions, don't get me wrong. I shouldn't have called you that often or passed by your house. 'Go' means yes 'go'. Not because I hear you say it a lot, but maybe because I don't want to hear it. Anyway, I hope you understand I won't try to force my feelings on you again. I've better understood how life works, even though I have no experience with men. So you don't have to worry. "

"You understand the workings of life." Rey repeated her words.

Kikan said that in his attack of words that were out of nowhere. But why did Rey quote that comment? Did Kikan manage to make him understand, or not? "He probably understands better than most people."

"And I love you, it means something different to a young man."

Rey's voice sounded harsh at the end of her sentence. Kikan was afraid that the man would not take his words as an apology as he intended. "True.**** and love are two different things, and boys can make that difference more easily than girls. That's what I mean, I understand now."

"That's really important that lesson"

Is that sarcastic? Kikan is really confused. "That's the lesson I need, and learning it the way I used to mean I won't forget."

The muscles in Rey's cheek are moving.

"I'm sorry" said Kikan. "Is my speech wrong? I tried to apologize for falling in love with you, or for not letting you go when I should have let you go." That doesn't sound right. Kikan realized that, then he tried not to explain anymore and chose a direct approach. "No matter what happens. I promise I won't privilege you anymore, or do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable."

Well. that's definitely clear. Kikan smilingly looked at Rey, hoping that what he said would finally be acceptable.But Rey frowned, what's wrong?" tanyakanya.

Kikan emphasizes the fingers on the temples. The pain medication is really in action. "I admit my thoughts somewhat.... Overlay. What exactly did I say."

"That you don't believe in men" Rey replied. "That man does not know what love means."

That sounds a little rough. Did I really say that? thought Kikan. "Maybe not all men," he tried to explain.

"OKAY. It's just me" Rey said, then walked out.

"I'm trying to apologize!" Kikan shouted behind him.

Rey nodded and turned around. "Because you ever loved me?"

Kikan tried to follow Rey forward, but her body was too weak to go that far. Then he leaned against the door. "You don't want me to love you! I swear I'm not looking for your faults or blaming you for anything. I'm trying to find a reason to stay here. I don't want you to be so hard just because I want to get to know Jason." Kikan sighed. "I feel bad for you has caused trouble. I wish you'd let me handle my own problems."

"You think you can handle Logan?"

"I should be able to" Kikan replied. "He's none of your business"

"Yes, he's my business. He won't get away with what he did."

The words prompted Kikan to come out despite his trembling legs. "Don't say that, don't get involved. You don't want to lose a friend because of me."

"Because he's a much better friend than you?"

Kikan laughed again, hoping that eventually the matter was clear. "Not many people can offer so little to you, like me."

Rey shook her head as she returned Kikan's gaze.

Kikan used a finger to comb his disheveled hair. He must have been covered in blood from his wound and the ground from the fall. "You don't have to feel Rey's conflict. You got it all. Just enjoy it and live your life the way you've been all along." He said, then closed the door.