My Heart Was Wounded Deep
Chapter 31

The sound of the door slamming shut resounded loudly, and a silence that appeared later.

Kikan realized Rey was helping him hold his arm, to support his body. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't worry. Let's get back to your trailer" Rey said.

Anyway, Rey isn't sure what she should do right now. Maybe Rey will say goodbye, so she can go home soon.

Carefully, Kikan began to descend the stairs. "He's not as bad as he looks. He's just protecting myself in his own way."

When Kikan stumbles, Rey catches him and should carry him again. Kikan's body is so light that it's definitely easier to do that, but Rey knows Kikan will protest. "You have to go back to bed, and you need to stay lying down until you feel better" she said.

"Right," said Kikan. "But don't go home upset, okay? Mother's wrong. You have a happy life because you deserve it. I'm glad you have it."

Surprisingly, Rey believes Kikan is earnest with his words. Kikan wants Rey to be happy even though their situation is much different, regardless of what happened in the past. Not many people can be so generous. So the question arises in Rey's mind, if she deserves what she has, what does it mean Kikan is inappropriate?

Rey's mother will answer 'Yes' with confidence. But that was definitely not Rey's answer.

*************

When Kikan woke up, it was already midnight. Because the window of his room was open, he remained silent in his place, listening to noises that could signal trouble. Kikan tried to get up and close the windows. Hot air is better than feeling unsafe. But all he heard was the sound of crickets.

It's okay.all is fine. As Kikan tries to convince himself, he hopes Logan will be satisfied with the damage he has caused, Kikan's injuries will somehow ease his anger....

Kikan returns to bed and tries to close his eyes, but instead thinks of Rey. Once they do, other thoughts and images will spring up, from all their past memories. He remembers how Rey touched him with respect when they first made love, how Rey trembled when Kikan touched her.....

Kikan reminded himself that it was another life, when he was not yet like this. He could no longer imagine it, and destroyed everything he had built with great effort.

Not wanting to dissolve in the past, Kikan drags himself to get out of bed to the study. He needs money, and that means he has to work. The events with Logan have been taking all day.

But Kikan didn't make bracelets for sale, he started by making bracelets for Devan for helping him on the road back then.Kikan thought Devan was also the one who visited his house late at night, carrying a package containing food ingredients and other items he needs. Kikan wanted to make a bracelet in gratitude.

Kikan doesn't want Devan to feel obligated to treat Kikan as a friend, if they meet in town. Kikan thought Devan was better off staying away from him and he planned to make that clear. But he really wanted to thank the man and give something as an expression of gratitude, even though it was just a small gift.

***************

"You told him?"

Rey sat on the edge of the wood. He had just climbed into the attic at his project site to fix some cables when Devan called. "What do you mean?" ask Rey.

"Kikan! Did you tell him that we left behind clothes and other things?"

Rey wiped the sweat off his shoulder. The attic was the hottest and most unpleasant place. "No. Of course not, I'm better at keeping secrets than you are. Why would I tell him that?"

"Then how did he know?"

the hot air was attacking from all sides. "What makes you think he knows?" ask Rey

"Kikan gave me a small gift as a thank you last night, or early in the morning.before I woke up." Answer Devan.

Rey imagines Kikan getting excited at night, walking to Devan's residence just to deliver presents. "What kind of gift?"

"Skin bracelet."

Right, it's Jason's mom. "There again?" Ask Rey.

"And a message"

Too anxious to stay seated, especially in such a closed space, Rey stands up and accidentally hits her head against the ceiling of the attic. "Suck!"

"I know."

"Not that. Forget it," Rey murmured. "Randomize to me what he wrote."

"Attent." There was a pause for a moment, then Devan's voice came back on the phone. "Good Devan, thank you, it must be hard for you to get caught by someone else (Don't worry, I won't tell anyone,) I just need to tell you that I am very grateful for your gift and will pay for it when I can be independent later. In the meantime, I hope you can accept this little gift as gratitude. (Please don't feel the need to recognize me in public)"

Rey rubbed her head where it hit, then pondered what she heard.

"You still there?" ask Devan.

"So what do you think?" ask Devan again.

"I'm still thinking about how he knows." Said Rey.

"I drove him home just before we came back in those clothes. Maybe that was enough as a clue for him. Did you get a bracelet?" ask Devan

"No."

"True, the good news. He might not know you're involved, so you're as clean as you want." Said Devan

And the bad news is, Kikan probably thinks of Devan as a knight in shining armor. It's not that I care Rey told herself.

"It must be because I brought it home" said Devan, more convinced that his assumption was correct. "But my house is not close to him. What do you think he's here for?"

"Surely walk." Rey had put Kikan's bike into Nanda's workshop before leaving for work, so Kikan was unable to repair and use his bike.

"Dark-dark?" exclaim Devan.

Kikan would be crazy to have to go to such lengths just for the sake of thanking someone for the little kindness he received. "And with five stitches on his head." Added Rey.

"You mean?"

Although Rey was eager to stand up and move to and fro, the cramped spot forced her to crouch as she told Devan What Logan was doing.

"It really makes me angry" Devan said. "What did you do to that?"

"I've reported the incident to the police station, and let those who handled the incident. But the police officer asked me not to interfere, let those who reprimand Logan, as well as my mother he didn't want me to deal with Kikan, but Logan better not do anything else."

Devan did not answer.

"What are you thinking?" ask Rey.

"I'm thinking. You must be in a difficult position with your mother.maybe I should be around you if such an incident happens again."

"No, I want you not to interfere." Rey hung up. But Devan called back.

"What's? Said Rey.

"it's an offer to help you, you know."

"sorry"

"What's wrong, Bro?" ask Devan

"It's okay. It's been a hard time for me. adjustment since Kikan came out."

"But your reaction is not what I imagined" Devan said.

"I don't understand what you mean"

"Don't tell me you're suddenly interested in him.."

A sudden? Rey has been interested in Kikan since she first got to know him, when he taught Kikan mathematics. Other things, those other people that separate them, Rey's friends, parents, and teachers. Then everything is more terrifying. Things work together to convince Rey that Kikan is evil or crazy or both, inappropriate for him or anyone else who is normal. And over time, Rey manages to forget the overwhelming interest that has arisen between them. He forgot how simple and lofty Kikan was, he forgot how pleased Kikan was with even the smallest kindness.

With great difficulty, Rey tried to ignore her feelings and assumed that all of that had passed.

But he felt something after Kikan came back. "Why do you say that?" rey asked, hoping to get a direct answer.

"Hmm, because you're jealous?"

"I'm not jealous! it's just that I slept with him. I just kind of mind you getting involved with him."

"I'm not romantically interested in Kikan. That would be too strange, considering I'm one of your best friends. And to be honest, I don't know if I can stand the negative attitude I'm going to get from my friends and my family. Anyone who ends up with that woman will face many challenges. I just try to be fair and do what I think is right. This city can be a difficult place to live in, if so many people unite against you." Devan explained.

"She's Jason's mom, I'll take care of her" Rey said.

"You're gonna look after him? that's crazy" Devan said, then disconnected the phone.