Stuck With My First Love
Parting With My Love

I finally went on a hunger strike that day. I'm hungry, but I don't want to go out of the room. I heard, Mama is leaving again. I don't know where it went this time. He didn't say goodbye to me.

I'm skipping school tomorrow. I'm lazy to go to school. Vivi finally saw me. At first I thought Uti was just lying by saying Vivi came to see me. But when I heard her soft voice, I finally believed she had indeed come to see me.

I was so happy then. He came with a very worried face. I hugged him to calm my heart.

He fed me porridge and let me sleep for a while in his lap.

When I woke up, I saw him sleeping in my bed. I watched her pretty face. I gently stroked her hair.

Suddenly I wanted to kiss her red lips again.

I took my phone, and I put it on the table facing me and Vivi. I made that precious moment. The moment I stole a kiss from her lips. Her lips are very soft. I put my face slowly to her face.

Then..

Kiss her.

I finally managed to kiss her (again) without being caught. My heart was beating so fast at the time.

I was shocked when he suddenly woke up. I also pretended to sleep on his lap.

Fortunately I was not caught.

We also started talking. I listened to all his jokes, while occasionally smiling and laughing with him. There was a peaceful feeling when I was with him. I'm happy beside him. I do like him.. No, even more. L loved her. I love this girl for who she is.

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When one day Mama fainted from a heart attack, it really scared me a lot. I could not believe that the usually strong mama was lying helplessly before me. I was so scared that my mom would die at that time. Since then I have always tried to take care of my mother. Until my mother healed.

But I feel Vivi is different. It seems he's hiding something from me. And sure enough, Vivi said mom would approve of our relationship if I wanted to go to China. Hearing him agree with my mother's plan, made me really angry. I can't believe Vivi trusted my mom more than I did.

I knew Vivi's heart was so soft, Mama must have seduced her into persuading me to go to China. Vivi, a very obedient innocent girl. Can't he be more determined and supportive of my decision? I always wanted to be with him and be with him. I believe if I'm serious about my attitude, mama will definitely melt. But my mom used this trick to persuade me. I finally agreed to move to China with a heavy heart.

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On the day of my departure to China I didn't feel anything strange about Vivi. It's just that he looks really sad. For me it's natural, because we'll be apart for a while.

All the way to the airport, I clasped his hand tightly. I hugged him when we were going to say goodbye. I called him and I sent him a video of that lip kiss to calm him down.

Strange things happened when I got to Shanghai. When I called him, his number could not be reached. At first I thought the battery was low/dead. But all day I tried calling, totally disconnected. I tried texting and chat, and none of them were on-read. I'm getting suspicious.

Day three, I finally called Dedi. I asked her to help him meet Vivi at his house. Asking why it's been two days I can't call.

"Hey Co.. was there?" ask Dedi and Daniel when I video call them

"Yes the day after I nyampe"

"Why are you on that cake?"ask Daniel

" Guys, since I got here I've been trying to call Vivi. But he's hard to contact. Can you guys go to Vivi's house? I'm really worried about this"

"Oo.. kirain why? The other LDR and was already heavy apparently, hahahaha" seduced Daniel

"Fuck you guys. I'm really worried about this. It's not usually Vivi kayak gini. I'm calling ain't picked up. My chats and SMS are also not read"

"Yes, we're going there now. We'll call again"

After closing the call with Dedi and Daniel, I kept pacing back and forth waiting for information from the two of them. I'm really worried because it's the first time since we've been, he's been hard to contact for days.

Thirty minutes after that call, Daniel and Dedi called me.

"Where do you guys.. Have you met Vivi?"

I saw the faces of Dedi and Daniel like never before. Makes me even more curious.

"What's wrong?"

"Co. we are now in front of Vivi's house. You really don't know Vivi?" ask Dedi

"What are you talking about? Don't understand me"

"So we've been neighbors to his house. Said.. " Dedi and Daniel did not continue.

"What words? Don't make me curious"

"Say Vivi has moved" said Dedi

"WHAT? MOVING OUT?"

I was shocked to hear the news from Dedi that Vivi and her family had moved.

Why'd he move? Where'd he move? Why didn't he say anything to me? What's the matter? those questions popped into my head.

"Where do you ask?"

"We had it, but the neighbors didn't know" Daniel replied

I've asked Dedi for information about his move, but none of his neighbors know. Anti whose best friend also did not know about his move.

I was confused because Vivi had suddenly moved without my knowledge. It was like he was lost to the earth.

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“Have stopped! You don't have to call that girl anymore” exclaimed mama surprised me

“So mama knows, Vivi where?”ask me curious

“You won't see him again” said mama makes me even more curious

“Why did mom say that? What did you do to Vivi?”ask me full of anger

"How dare you yell at mom like that?"mama couldn't hear my voice rising

"What did you tell Vivi? Say ma!"

Maybe because she was so angry, she finally opened her mouth too.

“Mama asked him to leave you”ucap mama without guilt

Hearing that, my heart became very sad and angry. My mother separated me from Vivi.

“Why? Why would mom do that? What's wrong with Vivi on mama? Why would you do this to me?" I shouted at mama

"Mama has said it to you many times. She's not the right girl for you" exclaimed mama making me even more angry.

"Aaaagghhhh"

I can't believe my mama could separate me from Vivi. Made Vivi sever our relationship unilaterally.

Because I was unable to control my emotions, I broke all the furniture in the house. Kubanting all. I scream like crazy. Because I'm so angry. So angry. Put all the emotions in my soul.

"Prlangggg.prangggg"

All the things I slammed were smashed to pieces.

"Coco.what are you doing! Rafael stop your brother!"my mother's orders to my brother Rafael

Seeing me so angry, my second brother broke up. He hugged my body from behind. But I kept thrashing.

"BAD MAMA!"

My mother was shocked to see my anger. My heart is going to explode. I'm so mad.

"Control your emotions Co!"pinta Rafael

"Take me off! I'm getting out of here! Unhand me!"

I keep on revolting. I want to find my Vivi.

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For days I kept myself locked up in my room. I don't want to eat. Don't wanna talk. I just slept in my room.

All I did was look at the pictures of my relationship with Vivi. I looked at her beautiful face. I looked back at the video footage of our togetherness. To make me laugh, then unconsciously I shed tears on the sidelines of my laughter. My mind is completely fucked up. The inner pressure that I was experiencing greatly shook my soul. I was devastated that I had been separated from the girl I loved so much. And now I don't know where he is.

"Co. eat first" asked Rafael as he entered my room carrying food for me.

"Pranggg" I threw the plate my brother was carrying until the food was scattered on the floor and the plate broke into pieces.

"Why are you torturing yourself like this? Can this solve the problem?"rafael asked while clutching my collar

Mama who saw Rafael was mad at me, trying to break up.

"Rafael.what are you doing? Release!"pinta mama while releasing Rafael's grip on my collar.

Seeing the change in me, my mom called me a psychiatrist. But I don't want to talk to anyone.

I keep on being silent.

Once upon a time, no matter what came to my mind, I suddenly grabbed a bottle of insects in the kitchen and took the medicine. I admit my mind is completely fucked up. I'm upset. I can't think clearly anymore. Because I know, I'm not gonna see Vivi again. I will not be able to go back to Indonesia.

I don't know how I survived. All I remember, after downing the insect venom was that my throat and stomach felt like they were burning. It hurts so much. Then I was unconscious. I realized I was in the hospital.

"Where am I?"

"You're aware of Co? Oh my God, thank goodness you've come to your senses son" said mom with tears

"Thank God you've realized Co. we're all worried about you" said Rafael

I stared at the ceiling in the hospital room. My mind went back, I remember the reason I drank the poison was because I was so disappointed in my mother. I am sad that I cannot go back to Indonesia. I'm sad that I can't meet Vivi, the girl I miss so much. The girl I love so much.

"Co..get well! Mama let you go back to Indonesia, as long as you're cured, will you?"said my mom while holding my hand

"Mama will fulfill all your requests.If you're cured" said mama made me look at her.

"really?"

"Of course" said my mom, kissing my forehead and crying

I see it seems like my reckless attempt at suicide has made my mother realize how important Vivi is to my life.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I was excited to recover. But I still shut myself out of everyone. Until Caroline, a close friend of my brother Rafael, tried to talk to me. At first I didn't want to talk to anyone. But Caroline always talked to me. I finally slowly want to talk. Until finally my psychic condition slowly improved.

Mama also started to soften at me. I was allowed to return to Indonesia.

I ended up majoring in Architecture at a university in Shanghai. When I go to college, I always go to Indonesia. I kept looking for information about Vivi's whereabouts. But always fail. I also asked Dedi and Daniel to find information, but all is nil.