Stuck With My First Love
May You Be Happy

After our meeting at that time, he was visiting the clinic more and more. Not to meet me. But to drop off and pick up Dr. Caroline.

He seemed to be serious about what he said at the time. And it looks like Caroline's doctor is the woman she'll marry. They look very familiar. Chika and Lala thought so.

Every look at those who come together with happiness, makes my heart very sad. The eyes full of love between the two managed to tear apart my heart. Can't feel like seeing the affection of both of them. But what you want to say, maybe it's just up here my love journey with Coco. I had to learn to take him with Dr. Caroline.

Maybe it's better like this. So I can move-on right away from Coco. Maybe in this way, I can continue my life which for six years is still attached to him even though we do not greet each other. Maybe this way I can let go of my love for her. And maybe I can learn to love someone more worthy of my love. Aldi may. I don't know..

But it's really heavy. Too heavy. The burden in my heart because of the love that has already been planted firmly in my heart. It hurts. Really sick. I have to let go of the love that has made me last for six years. The love I had for almost nine years since becoming his secret admirer. It won't be that easy to take away the love I've had nine years. This pain, this wound I have to go through on my own.

Even looking at her face waiting for Dr. Caroline's return was painful for me. His very cold gaze, without the smile that used to always be on my back. He was very close but felt very far away from me.

We never spoke again either. We really are like strangers. And it makes me even sadder every time I see him with Dr. Caroline. But I was only able to endure this disappointment and sadness for myself.

One day, Dr. Caroline came to see me. Take me, Chika, Lala and some other nurses to dinner.

"Later home from work don't go straight home?"pinta ma'am doctor to us

"What's wrong, Doc?"ask Chika

The doctor just smiled.

"I want to treat you all to a nice dinner" the doctor said with a sweet smile

Me, Chika, Lala, Ferdi and Sakti immediately looked at each other.

"Yeyyy.eat-eat" yelled we were all excited.

"Thank you doc" we said almost simultaneously.

"Tumben dok ngajakin we-we eat? What's the show?"much

The doctor patted me on the shoulder with a smile.

"You know too" answered the enigmatic doctor making us all curious.

The doctor then walked into his room. Leaving the five of us still curious.

"What's going on?"ask Lala

"Udah why think about it.which is important later we also know" I replied.

"What don't-don't...."Chika hanging her words made us all look at Chika very seriously.

The Chika we saw, even misbehaved and laughed out loud.

"Okaya aja woiii.I was just saying do not-don't, hahahaha.seriously look at it"sahut Chika.

We who felt that Chika had been bullied snorted annoyed together.

"Damn you Chik.kirain you know. Udah ah.behind the work.before the patient came" said Sakti while menoyor Chika's head.

Ferdi and Sakti then returned to their room. While Chika and I went back to the registration table.

I see Chika still has a serious face.

"What do you think Chik is? You don't fit in thinking about that cake?"I said gigglingly looking at Chika's serious face which is usually never serious and often jokes.

"I was just thinking, does this have anything to do with the tamvan gap that has been going back and forth for a few days. Do they have a serious relationship?"

"You mean?"

"Who knows if they're dating or maybe they want to merid, right?"said Chika

Degh's..

Could it be that all of Chika's words were true? Is it true that Coco's fiancee is Caroline's doctor? Why does it seem like that? Ahhh.all these prejudices made my mind avoid direction. My heart is also getting bigger.

Finally that night, after work, Dr. Caroline took us to eat at the Alila hotel. The same hotel I last talked to. At first we were just six. Doctor Caroline, I, Chika, Lala, Ferdi and Sakti. Then someone followed while we were having dinner.

“Sorry if I'm late”pap someone.

I recognize that voice. When I looked back it turned out to be true, it was Coco. Coco came from behind me and greeted us all. He smiles at everyone. I tried to smile too. She came with a large bouquet of flowers that were handed over to Dr. Caroline while hugging her body and kissing her cheek.

"It's been a while?"ask Coco to all of us.

"Not too long ago, sit down" the doctor asked Coco with a smile on her lips.

What a sight I don't want to see. He's the one who's making out with other women. Right in front of my eyes. I also chose to bow rather than continue to see the affection they were showing in front of me.

Coco sat in front of me, next to Dr. Caroline. I saw them talking to each other. Very familiar and friendly. He can even smile and laugh with the doctor. Sometimes I steal her eyes. Sometimes my eyes and Coco look at each other. But then I took my eyes off. I was afraid I might be caught stealing glances at him. Events like that happened all night.

When we finished eating, Dr. Caroline made an announcement

"As you've been asking, here I want to share a surprise with you"

“Declose this Coco. We'll be engaged soon, ' said Dr. Caroline

“We'll get engaged next week” Coco said as she looked graciously at doctor Caroline.

Doctor Caroline wrapped her hands around Coco's arms.

My heart is like being stabbed.

Saw him with another girl. Just making out right in front of my eyes.

I'm shaking.

My chest feels tight.

“Happy DOCTOR” everyone congratulates.

I keep trying to smile. But I can't. I force myself to be happy with others. One by one we congratulated the doctor and Coco.

I hugged Dr. Caroline congratulated her.

"Happy doc, I'm happy for you" I said with a smile I forced while holding the pain in my heart.

Then I shook Coco's hand congratulating her as well.

"Good Co. I pray you'll be happy"

I don't know why he refused to let go of my hand. I tried to let go of my hand but I couldn't. He shook my hand very tightly.

But then he let go. In my heart, I said goodbye to him. To the man who for nine years has always filled my heart.

Arriving at the boarding house, I turned on the radio in my room. Like a pair of tit-for-tat songs tonight really represents how I feel. One by one the songs played.

I'm approaching, the road we're on

Every day we are here

I wait, you come back

Only memories remain here

But now you're gone

And I'm sure you won't come back

Maybe today is tomorrow or later

Millions of memories are embedded in this heart

Maybe today is tomorrow or later

No more greeting each other

Even though I still hope for you

I wait, you come back

Only memories remain here (but now)

But now you're gone (away)

And I'm sure you won't come back

Maybe today is tomorrow or later

Millions of memories are embedded in this heart

Maybe today is tomorrow or later

No more greeting each other

Even though I still hope for you

Verily my heart

Unable to accept

And forget the everything

 Maybe today is tomorrow or later

Millions of memories are embedded in this heart

Maybe today is tomorrow or later

No more greeting each other

Although I still hope for you, ooh (expect you)

Even though I still expected you, ooh

Goodbye My love.may you be happy Co..

I will forget you, forget my love for you.

Goodbye my first love..

May you be happy..