Stuck With My First Love
Crushed

The next day, he did not go to school. Turns out he got through the group stage. So he has to go to XX city again.

During her race, I continued to monitor her progress through Dedi. Dedi said in a chat, this time the race is more difficult than the city level race yesterday. In addition to the more difficult problems, their opponents also seem more formidable. They really have to try harder to get through the semifinals.

With great difficulty finally the semifinal round can be passed. They reached the semi-finals and entered the final. I'm with deg degan. Of the three teams that were sent to the race, only Coco and Dedi teams qualified for the Final. Daniel and Richard didn't make the semi-final. Feli and Sandra's team qualified for the semifinals but were unable to make it to the final.

I went with deg-degan. Hope anxious. And finally the good news came,

HE WON!

“Yeeeayyy”

I jumped in excitement. Making the whole house confused by my behavior. But I don't give a shit. I am happy with his victory.

I also wanted to contact him to congratulate him.

Suddenly my phone rang. There's an incoming message. The message was from Feli. She also participated in the Olympics for the women's group.

Tumben Feli chatted me, what's going on?

As soon as I opened the chat from Feli, I was in deep shock.

Feli sent me a picture of the two of them taking selfies on the bus. I saw Coco smiling in the photo. It was such a stifling sight because her smile back then looked so happy. At that moment my heart also hurt. So hurt. Like a knife cutting my heart. Not even my tears wet my cheeks. I just found out that they were both sitting next to each other, because Dedi was also taking pictures when they were on the bus before leaving. So I know for sure, the photo wasn't fabricated.

Their happy smile in the photo, pierced right in my heart. It hurts so much.

Seeing her so considerate of other girls besides me, was really painful. The photos sent to me show the closeness of the two of them.

The next photo shows them both taking selfies. With a smile on their lips. It's like saying they're very happy now. The caption below the second photo reads “NOW GET OFF FROM MY BOYFRIEND”

I really don't believe in the truth in front of me.

Is this really all?

Coco and Felie?

Are they really dating?

Coco chose Feli?

Is that really the girl he chose? And not me?

Thousands of questions swirled in my head. All this is too stifling. This reality in front of me really pierced my heart. I still have a hard time believing that Coco ended up choosing Feli instead of me.

These tears kept dripping, accompanying the deep sadness in my heart.

Then I opened the video of Feli's delivery.

In the short video, I see Coco and Feli exchanging rings, like a couple ring. They let each other laugh happily. Greeted the applause of the people there.

Although the clothes they wear show they are very relaxed, because Coco only wears shirts and shorts 3/4 . And Feli also only wears hot pants, t-shirts and cardigans. But the screams around them made me even sadder.

“JADIANAAN..JADIAANN.” the sound of the shout was accompanied by another laugh and applause of the people there.

While the next photo sent to me shows a photo of both fingers wearing rings. Hold hands with each other.

My tears just keep flowing.

I'm so sad.

I cried all night.

I didn't expect to experience this harsh reality.

All of Feli's photos and videos really slapped my consciousness.

Plus when looking at Coco's facebook status that says : “THIS VICTORY IS FOR YOU"

My crying is getting worse.

I can't bear to see the reality I just saw.

The man I've liked for almost three years with me chose another girl. The man I love, who I don't think would easily express love, even exchanged rings with another girl. The man I thought I had, wasn't mine anymore. It turned out that my feelings were just clapping one hand. Because he doesn't like me like I've liked him all this time. It turns out he doesn't have the same feelings that I do.

Then what has all his attention been on me for? What was all the jealousy he showed? Wh-wh-what for? If in the end it turns out he chose another girl to be his lover.

I'm really sad.

So sad.

My chest feels so tight.

Heart's broken.

I'm galau.

I'm jealous.

Because that girl is not me.