Stuck With My First Love
Toughest Day

One day, I dared myself to call her mother by phone.

“Fagi aunt”sapaku

“Morning.this who?”answer mother.

“I Vivi, aunte”

“Oh..Vivi..what's up?”

“Can we meet aunt, there is something I want to talk about”

I asked her to meet, but I wanted Coco not to know about our meeting. Finally her mother invited me to meet at a restaurant owned by one of her relatives without Coco's knowledge.

We talked both. The atmosphere was really awkward, because I knew he never liked me and expected to see me. But I have to do this. To fulfill her mother's request of me. Her request, in other words, sacrificed my happiness with Coco.

“Sorry aunt, if I've interrupted aunt's break. But I really have to meet with aunt.”

“I have decided.I will meet the request of aunty. I'll leave Coco.”

Hearing my words, her mother smiled happily. Honestly, my heart hurts. Looking at the woman who gave birth to my lover, I did not expect me to be with her son. I loved his son very much. And Coco loves me too.

“I've been trying to persuade Coco to move in with aunty. But he's really stubborn. He insisted on not moving”

“Have you persuaded him with every effort?”ask mama.

If only he would empathize with me a little. Does he think I half-heartedly persuaded his son? My heart ached more and more at the question of his mother who doubted my efforts all along to convince his son.

“Aunty. But Coco stays on her stance”

Her mother was upset.

“I mean to invite aunty to meet, I want to ask aunty” for help

“Ask what please?”ask her mother with a very serious face.

“I'm asking for help, auntie would like to agree to our relationship”

“What?”her mother looked at me with annoyance.

“Pura-just pretend aunty bless our relationship. Tell Coco she can still go back to Indonesia during the semester break. And after graduation, he was able to settle back in Indonesia. I'm sure that way, he'll want to move to China” explained me to his mother at length.

I've run out of ways to persuade Coco to go to China. Moving to China. Because of that, I think it's this way that might make Coco change her mind.

A smile immediately also rose on his mother's face. His smile tore through my wounded heart. I must be prepared to give up my happiness and my love. But her mother smiled happily over my suffering.

If I were stronger. If I wasn't this weak. I will fight for her mother to accept me. So that he may know how deeply I love his son. Despite having to confront his family. But I was born into a family that highly upholds the blessing of my parents. For me, without the blessing of my parents, whatever I do, will surely fall apart and lead to pain and failure. Because the prayers of parents especially mothers are the most mustajab. I dare not go against the wishes of his mother who wants me to leave her son. If I fight back, I'm sure there will be many much bigger obstacles later. That's why I was forced to agree to her mother's request. Even the pain I feel I have to feel all my life, maybe.

“Good. I'll do that”pap his mama

“And one more aunt”

“I have one request”

“Say”

“If Coco is willing to move to China later, let me drive her one last time to airport”

“I promise after that, I will leave Coco. I won't be contacting aunt's son again. I'm going out of Coco's life so she won't see me again”

This time my tears were unstoppable. I made a promise to her mother to leave her son. My heart ached when I had to say all those words. Immediately in my mind, I had to live my life without Coco by my side.

Her mother took my hand and hugged me.

“Good. You can do it”

“Thanks aunt”

I also felt good after a bit of calm.

Finally after a few days of persuading Coco, she softened up. Especially after her mom helped me lie, would accept our relationship. Her mother also said that they would be there during her studies and would return to Indonesia after she graduated from college later. He will also be able to go to Indonesia during his college holidays.

He agreed to move to China.

Don't ask me how I feel. I really don't know if I should be happy or sad about this. Because the truth is, I chose to let go. Maybe I'll suffer more or I'll be happy. I don't know. Let God manage everything. I'm resigned.

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The day of his departure to China was decided. I also drove to the airport. The four of us took a car to Jakarta. Coco and I sat in the back seat. My mom and dad were sitting in the middle seat. A driver drove us to the airport.

I made a deal with his mother. That I would fulfill his request if he fulfilled my request. I asked to be allowed to take him to the airport.

For me, the slightest togetherness with him before his departure to China was a joy. The happiness I will remember forever. Although then I had to mourn my sorrow for having given up my love for her. I'm willing.

Throughout the journey we held hands. I don't want to let go. So is he. I put my head on his shoulder. I want to enjoy this precious moment as the most beautiful memory of my life.

Sometimes I wipe my tears. I'm sad. Heart's broken. It feels heavy to let go. I saw him

also glazed. I can see it's too heavy to let me go. That was the hardest day of my life. He didn't know that after this we'd be completely separated.

Arriving at the airport, we headed straight for international departure.  My steps are getting heavy. Especially after this I won't see him again. The heart feels sliced. The more I clasped his hand.

Her mother saw me. But said nothing.

I'll take my hp. I took him a picture. Actually he refused. But I forced. He finally wants to. I also filmed him up close. Actually he's embarrassed. Because many people are watching. His behavior was very funny when several times brushed my phone. I'm actually embarrassed too. But for me these are the moments I have to make. Because it will be a memory. Memories I will keep forever. Memories with my beloved heart. The love of my life.