Stuck With My First Love
The Lost Everything

We all three took a car ride. We walked around downtown. Starting from Keraton Mangkunegaran and Keraton Surakarta Hadiningrat, Pasar Klewer is the largest textile market in Indonesia. We also went around passing several places such as Sriwedari stadium, Manahan stadium nicknamed Mini Gelora Bung Karno (GBK).

Tired of going around, we decided to take a walk in Solo Square. One of the malls in the city limits Solo. A comfortable place to just wash your eyes see the various items sold there. We entered a number of shops selling clothes. Dila loved some of the clothes on display at the booth. Korean clothing. A variety of sweaters and shirts and mini dresses are very funny. Korean styles.

Actually Dila wanted to try one of the soft pink mini dress sold there. But because it was too short and the top model was a tank top, Aldi with his bulging eyes stared intently at Dila as if to say to Dila, “BIG NO”. Dila could only frown and return the dress back to its place. I could only smile at the interaction of the two sisters.

I was interested in the clothes on display. A short-sleeved white blouse with an exquisite asymmetrical skirt midi. But as soon as I saw the price, I immediately walked away. It's very expensive. For me it was a great price.

After wandering around the booth, Dila finally chose to buy some shirts and sweaters and a dress of very beautiful flowers. Out of the booth, Aldi left me and Dila, because he had to go to the toilet. Finally Dila and I continued our hunt to the food court area, because we were already very hungry.

Upon returning from the toilet, I was astonished by the bag Aldi was carrying. The same clothes bag as Dila's clothes bag earlier. But I didn't ask anything. Maybe Aldi did go shopping for himself.

I was shocked when Aldi suddenly thrust the bag at me. Dila and I looked at.

“This what's Al?”my many.

“Kakak open it”ucap Aldi lightly while sitting in a chair and sipping drinks ordered by Dila.

When I opened the bag, it contained the blouse and midi skirt I saw earlier. I'm really shocked.

“This means what Al? I don't geti” I said because I don't understand what Aldi really means.

“It made sister. Because it has accompanied us the streets”

I immediately returned the bag to Aldi. I didn't think she would give me that outfit. Though I really sincerely want to accompany Dila for a walk.

“Sorry.I can't accept it Al”

“But why kak?”

“I sincerely want to accompany Dila sightseeing. I wasn't expecting anything in return. This is too excessive”

“Kak Vivi accept. Let's just say it's a gift from us because Vivi's sister has taken me for a walk. Ga papa sis, just accept”ucap Dila defending his older brother

“But Dil.”

“Kalo kak Vivi ga want to accept it.I am angry with brother”ucap Dila again while pouting and crossing both hands in front of the chest.

Finally I had to accept a gift from Aldi. The two brothers managed to prank me. The cooperation between the two of them was really good. To the point that it makes me not wince.

“Thanks ya Al”

“Sama-sama kak”Aldi smiled at me very sweetly.

After finishing the food we ordered, we decided to go home. Previously Aldi drove Dila to the Solo Paragon Residence lobby, then just drove me home to the boarding house.

*

*

*

*

Along the way to my boarding house, we talked about many things.

“Dila is now a teenager..Beautiful bangeet.. You have to take care of your brother. Must have been a lot of people after him”message me to Aldi.

“Kakak now also more beautiful”puji Aldi makes me blush embarrassed.

“Most certainly a lot of people are after brother..yes right?”

“Ga also”kilahku

“Tu will lie again”

“Apaan anyway Al?”I hit Aldi's arm because his words cornered me even more.

He just stroked his arm while smiling.

“How to change? I wonder women”godaku

Aldi laughed at my words.

“From earlier I noticed, sister Vivi ga ga be expressive first. Brother is more quiet now. More closed”

Aldi's words were like a slap in my face. Because the truth is like that. Maybe because he knows what my past is like. What I used to be. He knows me better. That's why he can talk like that.

“Didn't everyone eventually change over time? Every problem we face will gradually mature us, right? Maybe that's what happened to me too”

“What is the wound that brother experienced so deep that it changed sister in such a way? I noticed that my sister rarely laughed. It's like seeing someone else. Sister has changed a lot”

“Do you think so?”

“What sister has heard these words, “if you lost something, doesn’t mean you lost everything””

Hearing Aldi's words made my heart cut. Inner me thrashing. Because in reality, that's how I feel. I feel like I've lost everything. Even to be happy, I feel unworthy. Because I have released my happiness. Losing the love of my life makes me feel unworthy to love another person again. That's why until now I still feel at home in singles. Although many approached me and “ shot my”, but I did not feel worthy to be loved by them. And I feel my love for them will not be comparable to the love they give.

“But you know what, I feel like I’ve lost everything in my life”papku with a vibrating tone because my tears are already pressing out of place. And I ended up crying too. My tears were dripping without my being able to stand it.

Seeing me crying, making Aldi immediately pull over his car.

“Kak Vivi why?”ask her with a worried tone

“Sorry Al. I was too sensitive”ucapku while continuing to wipe the tears that wet my cheeks.

Aldi got me the box of tissue in his car.

“Sorry Yes Al”a number of times I tried to calm myself with a long sigh.

I can see Aldi's face pitying me.

“I'm pathetic, right?” I said as I continued to flick my hands to my face while sighing long with the smile I kept forcing.

Aldi patted my shoulder slowly.

“Kakak cry only.don't be held.heart we are only one. If there are too many burdens, our hearts will not be strong. So just get everything out. No one's brother save”

Immediately my defense collapsed. Somehow hearing Aldi's words made my tears flow more and more. Like a dam door that's long locked and left open.

I was crying in Aldi's car. While Aldi kept stroking my shoulder slowly. Trying to calm me.

After a bit of calm, Aldi drove me to kosan. Arriving in front of the boarding house, I got out of his car. And Aldi too.

“Thank you Al for today”ucapku

“Yes brother, equally. If brother Vivi needs friends, I am ready to be a loyal listener”

I nodded slowly.

“Do not cry alone again ya kak”

I nodded again.

“I will often stop by.apparently kos kos kos kos Deket Benny same Agus”

“Oh yes?”

Aldi nodded while pointing in one direction.

“Kos them up ahead there. I don't have a new sister's phone number. I asked ya”

At first I hesitated to give Aldi my new number. But I finally gave you my new phone number after Aldi promised not to share my number without my permission.

After that, Aldi went back to his apartment.