The Desired Angel of Heaven
Chapter 119
Faiq looked at the tombstone inscribed with his wife's name. The feeling is heavy to move away from the earth that now lives Hani's body. Not a single tear escaped his cheek.
“Please wait for me dear ...” murmured Faiq with bitter feeling.
The weight of his heart to just step foot leaving the ground is still fresh. It felt like he was lying down to accompany his wife's solitude. She is the only woman who falls in love at first sight and the first time in her life.
“You are the wife of sholeha, Surprise where you are. I am sincere, I am ridho …. In His heaven our God will meet later …. “ Faiq closed his eyes trying to hold tightness in the chest.
“Pa, let's go home. Kasian opa and opa are waiting, sisters too …. “ Ali standing beside him.
Faiq opened his eyes. He observed his surroundings, indeed only he stayed with Ariq and Ali who were left. He embraces the shoulder of Ariq who is still solemn’ berto’a for the mother. Ali was waiting for the two of them.
“Let's go home, tomorrow we can visit mother again,” said Faiq slowly.
Faiq heavily escorted his two sons to the family car that had waited for almost half an hour, the day leading up to the afternoon. The car troupe soon passed leaving the now deserted cemetery complex, a heart of Faiq.
Being a widower with a child who is still a responsibility is not the desire of Faiq. But fate has said something else. He resigned with the destiny of the Power. And he was sure that everything outlined was the best he had to accept.
It has been 40 days since Hani's departure. Faiq tried to get up from the slump. He must be strong for the sake of children who still need supervision and affection. When alone in the room, he was unable to hold back tears because Hani's shadow still felt strong approaching him. But once out of the room, he must be strong to give strength to his children who still need attention and affection.
“Do you not want to marry again? Kasian children, they still need the affection of a mother,” said Marisa slowly when they finished dinner.
The kids went back to their rooms. Darmawan, Marisa and Faiq are left. For a few days, Faiq rarely went home. He is more busy with office work, because that is the only thing that makes him able to forget the sadness of the departure of Hani.
Faiq stared at the empty glass before him. It felt like a glass, empty, unceremonious. His whole heart was gone brought by the owner who has now returned to the real owner.
“Rara telah pergi. Allah telah mengatur sesuia kehendak-Nya, kita harus ikhlas menjalaninya,” Marisa masih meneruskan perkataannya karena melihat Faiq tak bergeming.
“I haven't thought about that, ma'am. If I remarry, which I fear I cannot share affection with children,” said Faiq slowly, “ Not necessarily the woman who will be my wife can accept children.”
Marisa and Darmawan looked at her for a moment. So far they know, that Latifa friends during school Faiq even now become colleagues in his office trying to get closer to the children. Since Hani's departure, he often came to visit the children and even bring them food.
“Dad and mom don't mind if you want to get married again. Ifa is a good woman. He is also very attentive to children,” Marisa said as she glanced at Darmawan to help him convince Faiq to start opening his heart again.
“I'm sure mom and dad want the best for us. But enough Rara as my only wife. I don't want to start the household again. I'll watch the kids grow up well. Until God calls me later, I can boast to Rara, that I managed to deliver the children to be soleh sholeha.” Faiq said confidently.
“Whatever you do dad will always support you,” Darmawan said while patting him on the shoulder.
Faiq was still languished at the dinner table contemplating his solitude. He felt that Hani was always there to accompany him and help him in watching the children. Thankfully, the kids are becoming more independent. Now they can release the departure of the mother sincerely. Faiq always took the time to take his children on pilgrimage to his mother's grave.
Faiq looked at the clock on his wrist that was already showing at 9 p.m. The busyness in expanding the network of sharia-based hotels made him forget time. He leaned his head against his great chair.
Faiq's smell sniffed the scent of the perfume Hani used to wear. He scrunched his forehead. A soft touch stroked the back of his hand. Faiq opened his eyes. He was surprised to see Latifa standing next to him with her hands still above his.
“What do you do?” asked Faiq annoyed.
“I'm sorry, mas. I know Faiq is lonely. Let me replace Mbak Hani to fill the void of heart mas Faiq.” Latifa again grabbed Faiq's hand.
Faiq clasped his hand. He looked at Latifa with an annoyed look. His preoccupation was disturbed due to the presence of the woman.
“Until any time there will be no one able to replace the figure of Rara,” Faiq said firmly, “She is the only woman I want in my life.”
“Mas, I've loved you for a long time. And I've locked my heart to anyone ever since I fell in love with you. Can't you open your heart for me?” Latifa walked up to Faiq, “I've been waiting for you for these five years to always be around you. Let me be yours, mas ..”
Unexpectedly Faiq, Latifa hugged him tightly. He still survives his solitude only to want to wait for Faiq to open his heart to him. After years of waiting at last tonight Latifa gathered all her courage.
“Hey, what are you doing.” Faiq tried to push Latifa's body still gripping her shirt.
“Mas, I'm willing to give up everything for you. Let me be yours even if only tonight …. “ Latifa looked at him wistfully.
Faiq quickly released Latifa's hand grip on his shirt. He brushed it off so hard that Latifa grimaced with pain. He never committed physical violence against anyone, let alone a woman. But Latifa's courage made her react violently.
“As a woman you must take care of your marwahmu Ifa. There are still a lot of good guys out there. I can't share my heart with anyone. My heart belongs to Rara. He is mine alone in the world up to His heaven God later.” Faiq looked at him sharply, “Now please come out of my room!”
“Can't you open your heart for me. What are the advantages of your late wife over me. She is just a widow ..”
“Astagfirullahaladjim. Ifa, don't you realize what you're saying?” Faiq looked at him angrily, “The person who has died is done in this world. By Allah I swear, Rara is a noble woman. As a husband, I am very pleased with everything he has done in the world. Noble wife and husband's pleasure, surgically the place. From this second I don't want to see you wandering around in my room.” Faiq stood with a waistline in front of Latifa who did not expect Faiq's reaction to be beyond his expectations.
Embarrassed at being rejected, Latifa walked out of Faiq's room. He had planned this for a long time. He approached Marisa to support his relationship with Faiq, even asking for the perfume Hani used to make Faiq look at him even if only briefly.
Arriving at home the clock has shown at 12 p.m. Faiq cleaned himself up and immediately moved to the bed. The events in the office still flashed through his mind. He did not expect Latifa to approach him.
Since Latifa first joined the company, Faiq already felt that Latifa had special feelings for her. After eight years he thought his feelings would change, but they didn't. With Hani gone, Latifa's aggressiveness became more and more apparent. He did not hesitate to come home and approach his parents and even his children.
Faiq looked at their wedding photo on the nightstand. He grabbed the frame. His fingers caressed the sweet smiling face of his wife.
“Yes, Allah ... This sick I miss him …. “ Faiq said softly.
He remembered the late Tama. How Tama missed Rara when she was already his wife. Tama's sincere confession made Faiq feel sad. Now he feels for himself the pain of enduring the longing with the dead.
Faiq got up to the bathroom. He quickly took ablution. Only to the Creator can he complain of all the burdens that stifle his chest and paralyze his memory.
Khusu’ Faiq promises do’a to the Khalik. He poured out all the burdens he felt with tears. There is nowhere to complain but the owner of the heart. He also’akan kindness for the late Tama. Especially for his beloved wife he always berTO’a so that it is always united in the afterlife.
After being content to complain with the owner of his soul and body, Faiq finally felt exhausted. He immediately climbed into the bed and hugged the pajamas that Hani used to use because there was still a soft fragrance of his wife. Faiq finally closed his eyes at the end of the night.