The Struggle of a Child
Anger
"Everyone knows how you are doing and how you are doing? So don't think too much." Fikri continued to give me advice that I cancel my intentions.
"All right, ." I kept quiet while walking down the hot school field. My pale lips no longer let out a sound and my steps continued towards mister Duan who had been preparing to wait for us.
"Did he play sports?" widia asked with her eyes twisting and glances at me as a sign that she was pointing about me to Fikri.
"I don't know yet, hopefully he's okay after the sport" continued Fikri.
"I'm not sure if that's going to happen," said Rasyd approached us after leaving Mr. Duan.
"Hey, you guys want to gather here, like a share of basic food," Solihin joked with crisp. Again discuss what the hell? Seriously so."
"We are talking about you again" said Fikri as he left us.
"Concerning myself?!" Solihin looked so confused. He muttered softly like, the shaman gossamer who was again reciting a spell. The wrinkles on his face looked tight while weighing the ones coming out of Fikri's mouth.
"Rasyd, what am I talking about?" Solihin ran after Rasyd.
"Engga. What can you talk about from yourself?" ledek Rasyd again asked while staring at Solihin.
"It's not?!" Rasyd turned his head towards me who was walking behind him not so far away, as if he was asking about myself to me.
I then lowered my head to hide everything from Solihin who was looking at me as well. I felt so dilemma at last, I saw Mr. Duan who again arranged the other friends neatly.
"Kids! Why are you still standing there?" Mr. Duan shouted loudly reprimanding us who were ignoring him.
"Well sir," said Fikri and Rasyd simultaneously.
"You are there," Solihin shook his head in satisfaction of jokingly teasing Fikri and Rasyd with a smile.
"Sir, what sport are we doing today?" ask Solihin. So want to know.
"What if I say, what do you want to do?" ask Mr. Duan back.
"There is no sir ! I can do anything without you telling me first" Solihin said straightforwardly.
For a moment we just kept silent to see Solihin who was embarrassed, but he tried to hide it. Widia, are you quoting trash, huh?" Solihin asked again while scratching his head in embarrassment.
"What don't you see me anymore?!" widia said with a voice wrapped in anger.
"Not be angry. I'm just asking, huh!" Solihin immediately snorted in annoyance.
"Try telling your friend who's standing there, don't be so strong!" widia said deliberately insinuating me.
"Who?" solihin asked who did not know.
"Your friend, your friend who is always strong and great," Widia said.
I just quietly heard it and closed my mouth while closing my eyes. I was so shocked to hear it today without realizing it turned out I had done one stupidity, that is according to my friend just because I follow sports.
There's not much I can explain to them. If I had been a little brave kid maybe I wouldn't have been in this kind of pressure. That's what's been true to myself to this day. Many times I tried to fight him, but many times I failed because I did not have the courage. That was the obstacle to my journey today.
As much as I could try to show them but, no matter how hard I tried, I still failed. Sometimes I think maybe I've never been seen by my friends. Being able to smile, being able to resist, being able to endure powerfully even if the circumstances that have plagued me took away all my happiness.
Throughout the eyes looked at Widia's face, Fikri, even Septiani who looked so pias once looked at me. Only Solihin can understand me today. He was so indifferent to the other attitude towards me.
"I don't know who you mean Widia?" Solihin's eyes turned around looking around.
"Where you might not know." Widia who was squatting in the heat of the sun looked at Solihin with her eyes twitching.
"Right, I don't know. Widia don't play guesses with me. I'm not an expert wrestler." Solihin just keeps mumbling to see the annoying Widia.
Taking part maybe that was all I could do after I saw Widia's expression.
"Ecy!" Suddenly I was surprised. "Well, are you here?" ask me in wonder.
"Well, are you standing here too? Alone again. Don't they want to be friends with you anymore, huh?" asked Ecy sadly.
"They still want to be friends with me" I replied.
"But why aren't you with them ?" ask Ecy back while sipping ice candles.
Ecy's question was like, a hard throw hitting me so close my pale lips tightly.
"Why are you silent? Then it's true, you're not accompanied anymore, hahaha !" ecy's laughter was so happily mocking. "Ouch! Liyan, Zhiya. Maybe someone wants to be friends with you. You're always sick. Who wants to be friends with you too? Every day sick, every day limp, uh, tomorrow-tomorrow holiday! 'nyebelin know hgga!"
"God!" snapped Fikri. "Never mock anyone else! Not necessarily you're not sick. Who knows you're sick tomorrow too, how?" Fikri's getting pissed. "I'll report you to Miss Dona for mocking her."
"I'm not mocking him. I'm just saying that he doesn't have any friends anymore, that's all!" Ecy was so visible and trembling while stopping the ice shavings of his candles.
"So you laughed at him, didn't you?!" ask Fikri who is trying to be a good class leader to protect her friend.
"Don't scold him, he's not wrong. He's right, I'm sick and have no friends." I stared at the heated Fikri and Widia.
The recesses of my heart felt so crumbling after hearing the truth spoken by Ecy. For me there is nothing better and more precious than peace for me at this time.
"It's been defended instead of thanks, huh!" Fikri disappeared from before me.
"Today, I have no friends. No one wants to be friends with me." My tears fall down touching my pale cheeks.
"Don't until you lose your mind. Talk to yourself like a freak." Ecy looked at me while twisting and grinning.
My two hearing ears pressed my tears even more to fall unstoppably. The hug I held firmly so as not to come out even more inviting suspicion from Widia who was suddenly beside me without me noticing.
"I was wrong for not being friends with you today." Widia stood up regretting having done such an unworthy deed.
Shut up, Liyan! Don't cry anymore. I'm so sad to see you."
The rush still continued to sound until it made me choked even more with the pain of my solitude today.
"You don't want to be friends with me anymore." My soft voice sounded so heartbreaking to those who heard it. "Huhuhoo!" My crying is breaking.
"We don't want to be friends with you." Widia's coming at me closer. "I just don't like it when you follow Tania. He's mean to you, Liyan." The soothing widia caressed my shoulder.
"But I'm not mean to him," I said innocently.
"Because you are not evil, we forbid you not to join us in sports" Widia explained affectionately. "You know Liyan, we all love you so much, so we don't want you getting sicker. Moreover, Fikri he is very considerate of you."
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