The Struggle of a Child
My contact mother disappeared
Not how long I turned. My father's empty room looked quiet. So it feels a little creepy to my timid self. The morning air that was cold by the dew blowing in the morning blind greeted my sick body. My weak legs I swing so that they look good in the eyes of those who look. As much as possible I encourage my spirit so that it can recover as before.
I can't wait to go to school and join my friends that I've left behind. The last lesson I followed. I didn't know it anymore when I left. My long-rested little fingers now feel so stiff as to hold a pencil. It was like the first time I learned to hold a pencil. The black shoes that I often wear at school are now sitting neatly. I think I want to go back to school. However, my wish was gone instantly. The storm that hit me at this moment destroyed everything.
In my own dwelling. Forgetting a little bit about the bitterness of my life. Reluctance of happiness unconsciously present dancing in my heart. The clinking of the wall clock that rang rattled me from my long daydream. I don't feel like the day is changing. Leaving behind all the memories that make me sad if I remember them. But I have to hold on.
For the umpteenth time I inevitably reluctantly left my school with awareness. The crystal grains that were birthed in my eye's crackers dammed up to fill my black eyeballs. The vibration of my little lips now moved slowly withstanding the cry that would make me even more sick. No one can be a friend to me right now. Only the sound of the wind blowing could be my solace.
Today I am like a beggar who expects mercy from a miracle willing to come willingly to give a gentle hand touch to my healing. The man I was in pain made a nightmare of my life. Every time I open my eyes I feel haunted by despair.
I want to scream out. Throw away all the fears that immerse me in the valley of waiting.
Every minute I try to feel myself. Looking at every corner of my weakly drooping self. Being helpless to do anything made me even more frustrated.
The pain that made me depressed ate up the happy days of my childhood. Tired of my feet walking to reach for a piece of medicine now no longer want for it.
But the blessings of my father and brother's strong spirit kept me optimistic. My sister who was so annoying secretly she paid attention to me. No doubt that my sister sometimes pity me and remind me to take medicine so that I can recover and go to school Kemabli, he said.
So is my father who always strives hard for my recovery. He never complained about anything because to my father I was a drug that could relieve his fatigue.
Without me realizing my father and sister are the biggest support for me to survive.
My mother who never gave birth to me also cares about me. The attention he gave her was no different than what my father gave her. Although, he occasionally rebukes me with his sharp words.
Seeing myself as a burden of my pain towards my father made me feel guilty, which made me feel burdened by my own feelings.
The laughter of my friends walking in her school uniform sounded so carefree coloring the morning. They laughed loosely and without the burden that was piling up within him. Their greeting of me made me feel myself unwell. Their warm smiles that roll every morning when I see me make me feel healthy.
For a moment I forgot my pain, forgot my suffering that had been a long school holiday. Almost a month. The high fever that attacked my tiny body was so reluctant it felt to leave so quickly.
My mother was the one I sometimes didn't see in the morning. It makes me anxious and so worried. I don't know for sure. Whahuh? What he did in the morning made me not see him.
I want to know I made myself a weirdo. Yes, sometimes I go to look for him even, it is not uncommon for me to visit a neighbor's house just to ask about him. He was so happy to go out just disappear. His strange attitude made my father sometimes fill the room of our house.
Little did I take a deep breath looking at her erratic. This morning I approached the door of my father's room standing fixedly staring at the entire room. However, I still haven't seen it.
After I didn't see him in the room. I turned my body back in disappointment. What will I say later? When my father asked about my missing contact mother.
A big commotion is bound to happen. That's what I'm recording in my memory right now. Everything will look tense with an uncontrollable situation.
My weak little footsteps I swung towards our kitchen door. I'm the one standing looking at the nanar coming out loosely. While breathing the fresh air that blows past me warmly.
We saw a busy woman in the garden not far from our house. The woman looked so down like she was taking something from the look of her face so seriously. The woman was so trying so hard endlessly as to flip something back while walking. I keep looking at him fixedly.
From behind that woman I saw it seemed like I knew her. Slowly I moved my legs closer and closer to seeing. Curiously, I stared at him so sharply that he turned his body towards me.
Stand up straight without switching anywhere. I'm still focused on my curiosity about him.
Slowly by reflex he twisted his body that pointed his face in front of me without him noticing. I was surprised by the woman I had just seen. My heart instantly became calm. The heart that was trembling violently in the face of the fear of my invisible mother. It disappeared after I saw it. My heart calmed down instantly. My face that was tight was not because it now looks better. No more worries on my face right now.
The wind also seemed to be a cooling problem that wallowed in my mind, just now. The careless atmosphere so dissolved my calm earlier, disappearing instantly without a trace.
My withered eyes will hurt me. It is warmly visible now. This morning there was no longer any anxiety from my face that was visible all the time that made me continue to wallow with the eternal I experienced.
My patience to find and see my mother-in-law has now paid off. The answer to the question I asked myself was in my heart. It's done now.
Seriate.....