The Struggle of a Child
The jealousy that is stored

I flinch as I think between answering or not. I stood looking at clenching both hands while squeezing them firmly stammered with fear. I asked him back. "Why are you like that looking, Brother?" aska I want to know. Looking at my sister mixed with fret.

My sister seemed to see me. His face grew increasingly pias tightened glances. "Why is my brother accusing me?" tanyanya was not happy to stare sharply. "The longer, Brother is now getting meaner," he accused.

I was even more shocked to hear her words coming out even more so with all my heart. I could no longer dare to look straight ahead. Now I stand up, like a silent statue of me and clenching my fingers and squeezing them is all I can do right now.

"I don't like seeing Brother anymore" said my sister. "Because Big Brother is already evil with me," he said full of hatred. Sneaky gazing.

"Ana, Brother is never evil," I said gently to the truth. "We've never had a fight" I said slowly looking down at the floor.

"Once, we had a fight. Did you forget... ?" my sister said ask me. "...which is because of that... ." My sister kept quiet as if she didn't want to say it.

I immediately held a little view looking straight at the end of the hanging curtain. I quickly learned what my sister said. Maybe he still remembers me and my father who at that time my father was too worried about me and had changed his attitude towards me. My sister and I have been so different. Where my sister often gets my father's affection, even when my sister plays my father never scolds her. Moreover, asking for something from him, my father always fulfilled it.

But after a while everything turned upside down. My father immediately gave me attention. My dad was always worried about me when I got home late. It's been my dad's been like that but not too over. He asked and then finished.

That's what makes my brother hate me more and jealous of me. The affection of the father that he used to get, even almost every day stroked him and spoiled him, even as if he was the one who mastered it. All of a sudden these days things are decreasing little by little.

I feel guilty for what happened to my sister. But I am also my father's son. I also deserve his affection even though I'm not too spoiled like him. The more days I feel like a selfish child is only concerned with my own desires and does not care about my sister anymore. Although it actually crossed my mind but it's not true. I'm not like that and I can't do it. At first glance I felt that my sister was jealous and envious of me. He must have thought again about how to keep me away from my father, I thought and as soon as possible I immediately denied it.

I think I was wrong. My sister might be like that. I always give up, even during this time we often fight but never linger. Then we got better. That's what it is to keep believing and believing that I'm not like that.

My sister just misunderstood maybe because she was so treated special by my father that she couldn't judge him wisely or maybe my sister was too lulled by the affection my father gave her that she was so devastated when he was a little unnoticed.

My sister was still sitting on the bed right on the edge of it adjacent to the window. His gaze was still staring outwards. The open window seemed to blow away all his misunderstandings towards me because he now looked calmer.

While I was still complaining about the prejudice my sister was accusing me of. My heart feels mixed. Sometimes I who still stand glanced at my sister who sat quietly. "Ana, Brother is not evil, really." I said it again even though my sister wouldn't believe it. "During this time Brother, will often follow your will," I told him.

"So, Brother brought it up," said my sister attacking. He looked and spread both his eyes.

I then lowered my head and did not dare to look at my sister's slanting eyeballs. His voice that was indeed famous for being big and high was very scary. His voice and my voice are very different. My sister and I don't get along anymore. He used to always be concerned about my father and my father.

I became even more depressed after my own sister turned on me. We who used to look good have now been stretched. My sister hated every single thing about me. He no longer wants to know about me. Sometimes he tries to keep me away from my father.

The weak me never dared to retaliate.

His pajas face was getting sour even though he was just standing nearby. He doesn't seem to know me. My sister has become a stranger to me. I'm so sad because I don't have to be ready anymore.

I was getting weaker standing alone in the quiet room. A cold gust of wind came crashing down on my face becoming my current lonely friend. I want to take my sister to talk. I want to say back that I'm not evil. However, I couldn't seem to have my lips covered by a strong adhesive.

I just want to cough and yawn, I can't anymore. I'm getting stuck with everything today. Many times I have told my sister that I am not what she thinks I am. However, everything was in vain. All the work I've done is no longer worth it. It's empty no one wants to listen to me anymore.

In the house only my sister became my story companion. It was my sister who made me never feel lonely since we grew up after understanding and knowing my mother was gone.

It has now turned around, everything has been lost. Our affection The brothers are on the edge of the horn. My hard and selfish sister is hard to conquer. Moreover, the problem that occurs is a matter of affection and attention from a father.

Even empty air seemed to want to squeeze me until this body felt crumpled to survive. The cheerful, joking laughter that used to color my game and my sister has now gone black.

Even the hopes are very thin. My stubborn brother who did not want to understand and relented made everything on the verge of collapse. I who always get advice from my father try hard and stand firm in the midst of the waves that hit.

I'm as stubborn as my brother, but I still want to give up when I remember my father. Father is a powerful weapon for me to survive and reconquer my brother's heart. Even though I had to cover it up from my father.

My brother and I in front of my father never showed our feud. We stood up and sat like a well-groomed child. As clever as I might have to cover it up from my father. My sister did too, she didn't want my father to know we weren't cool anymore.

He continued to behave normally in front of my father even though he glanced slightly cynically at me. The day is getting more visible. Even the rain has subsided. It's time that my sister and I now look, as usual, at lunch and take a nap.

Room curtains are arranged straight on the floor. I pull it with a quick look around the house. The connecting mother who had shouted loudly entering the house had now disappeared somewhere.

Even the right foot I swing out, followed by a body half tilted back looking at my sister. "Ana, you're not eating?" I'm mixed with worry.

"No, I'm not hungry" replied my sister.

He also insisted. I want to go out to eat. "Later Father gets angry," I said in a soft voice mixed with worry.

"So don't take me out to eat. If you want to eat, eat!" snapped brother.

Spontaneous I was surprised. My heart feels weaker. My blood wants to go down. The glare of his sharp eyes mixed with the clash made me drop my eyes even more looking at the floor. My heart aches when I hear it. The breath felt as if it wanted to stop.

The desire of the heart to ask is no longer continued. I undo everything I want to ask. A cynical look mixed with hatred was clearly emblazoned on the eye pelukan.

"No longer need to be friends with me" said my sister. "I don't want to be friends with Big Brother anymore" he continued to squeal in the ear.

For a second I was silent as if a loud slap hit my face hard. The ice flush felt as if it was coming down from above watering the body so I froze.

"A-An, don't be mad at Brother" I said with a plea.

Disappointment is getting scratched in the heart. The empty hope was increasingly clasped tightly in the hand. Crystal granules also feel like falling wet the cheeks. Tears that bore in the eye was held firmly.

"So, Brother, don't be friends with me anymore" said my sister breaking the silence. "I'm lazy to be friends with bad people!" said affirm. "... cause my friend is a good boy all, '" he continued spicy.

I'm getting quieter. The hungry stomach now no longer feels as if the spicy words from my sister more strongly cover the hunger than the hunger itself.

The sound of my father's feet passing through the living room right in front of the bedroom door sounded strong. The shadow of his footstep was clearly visible from the tail of the eye through the room.

"Liyan, Ana." From behind the curtain my father called. Stand up and then leave.

"Yes, Dad," I answered, wiping the tears that were shed in the eye from the room.

I swung my next leg forward with one hand holding the room curtain. "What's up, Dad?" my question was to open the curtain with my left hand out a little head looking at my father.

"Have you eaten yet ?" ask dad. Swinging her legs next door and turning her body saw us.

I couldn't open my mouth when I saw her tired gaze. I was so worried about answering it. The lips that were shaking wanted to say it were getting heavier. I then thought and was followed by me turning my head back to see my sister who got up from her seat, then I followed her by sharpening the gaze of seeing her who was walking closer. I slowly rolled my eyeballs staring straight at the curtain I was holding. Followed by ears that sharpen the hearing hear the feet of my sister who stepped.

"Dad, I'm not hungry" replied my sister.

"Why aren't you hungry, son?" ask my dad to be curious.

My sister stood beside me right in front of my father. He looked at the floor as if looking for the right reason. "Dad, we want a snack" whined my sister in her potent voice. "Dad, haven't given us a snack in a long time" my brother saw my father in a face-wearing murat mixed with anxiety.

My sister who was standing at the side right close to me looked a little downwards visible from the tail of the eye. I who heard his whining, held my head up to see my father standing straight in front of me then I glanced to the side right where my sister was standing.

They looked at each other with their own thoughts. My father had a little objection to my sister's request. While my sister was hoping my father would grant her request.

In their thinking they must be contradictory, I thought. I'm even more worried that my father and sister are exchanging different wishes.

"Ana, I told you to eat! Not asking for pocket money!" my father said with great affirmation.

"Dad but I want a snack" my sister whined out the door. "Dad hasn't given us shit for a long time" he continued.

My father was silent as if he was ashamed. He took a deep breath and exhaled it violently. "Ana, I haven't got the money, son," said my father slowly as if to hold the shame before us.

"But, Dad. I only asked for a thousand," said my sister a little loudly mixed with annoyance. "Times don't exist, Dad," his whine persuaded my father.

My father was silent as if he was at a loss for words. His breath returned in his gruff exhalation while rubbing his face with his right hand.

I heard it as if I felt bad. I sighed in seeing my outrageous sister. My father's eyes also seemed to dim sadly hearing his whining.

"Dad, it's been a while since we were given afternoon snacks, Dad," the whining got longer. "This one time, Dad," persuaded my brother gently.

"Ana, I don't have any money today" my father told my sister to stop whining. "Later if you have money. I'm sure you love me, son!" my father said crouch in front of my sister.

"Father stingy," said my sister screeched loudly. Go leave my dad sulking. He went into the room, followed by my gaze following in his footsteps.

It was so strange today that I couldn't speak anymore. The pocket money that has been a necessity for me and my sister all this time is no longer enjoyed by us. The longer my father was the more sad when he heard my brother whining for pocket money.

"That's in Ana, if you're angry you must be sulking" said the mother, and we entered from the kitchen door.

My father was immediately shocked when he heard a voice reprimanding him from behind. His lips moved to answer. However, I don't know what charcoal is passing through my father as if powerless to trigger it.

He held his lips firmly open. The longer I see it, the sadder I get. My father struggled with his problems. His face tightened even more after hearing my sister's request.

"Your son Ana is already too pampered," said my mother, moving busy in the kitchen. "Eat him, he's always sulking," he said.

My mother's lips are getting spicy touching my heart. He didn't think before he said it. My father occasionally hears it.

"... until he doesn't hear that he says there's no money. He doesn't know that all the money is up for them. School snack. Home school snack, afternoon snack. Kind of like a rich kid," he sneered spicy. "Don't know in profit" he said casually as if the throw insinuated me.

I closed the room curtain back backwards as if ashamed of myself. I feel like I'm wrong and I'm the cause of it all. I was getting cornered in the midst of the worries that struck.

My sister was glued languidly in the corner of the bed. "Ana, I don't have any money" I said to repeat it so my sister would understand.

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Seriate...