The Struggle of a Child
Fighting with Myself
After a long time I stood watching him. At least he didn't realize I was standing nearby. My mother still seems busy with the activities she is doing today.
The heat felt in the morning penetrated my pale skin like it was covered with embers. My small temples drain the sweaty water that soaks my cheeks.
My mother looks so relaxed with the clothes that dominate her body look comfortable. No tempest emanated from his almost twilight face. He looked so calm enjoying his free movement of gardening.
My tiny body walked by staggering towards him. Even though, my current state still hurts. I never get late with my pain. I often force my weak little body to move. Fill my days with my new spirit. Looking for something that can be an encouragement to myself. Without anything I'm burdened.
Instantly I visited my mother who was busy with the solitude of gardening. The one standing there could only close my little lips tightly. Seeing him who was so diligent in planting the plants he planted.
The atmosphere is boring to me now. Soon I may have to leave, I thought I ordered immediately. I turned my body to go back inside the house. Where, at this time the house has become a restraining palace for my freedom.
My steps forced me to enter my lonely house. Like there is no life in it. It is the arid love that lives in it. Not long after my father married our surrogate mother. The color of life is becoming more and more present. Emotional face painting is increasingly visible today.
Half a meter I walk. Suddenly the sound of a call coming from behind me stopped my steps.
"Liyan!" Shouted my mother.
I stopped my steps. Turning my body back. I slowly moved my weak legs back.
"Yes, Mom." I approached her with my face so flat.
"Why did you come here?" Ask her while tidying up her plants.
" There's nothing." I said with a little shame.
" Have you eaten?" Ask her with serious attention.
" It's!" I replied with a slight turn of my face from the scorching sun.
" Yes, it's been! If you've eaten, then! Why else are you here. You've been standing here for a long time." Curiously.
Hm! I growled a little in my heart. While looking for reasons to answer his questions. So that he doesn't scold me.
My face is now as if it were an answer if I did not want to answer his question. Because I don't know what answer I'm going to give to the question that keeps attacking me.
He looked at me intently waiting for the answer I would give. Long with silence now he began to snort in annoyance. " Yes, it's been! Asked you not to answer. Disappointed he turned his body back. " If you want to be here. Just sit there! Because it's not hot in there, if you don't dare to be home alone." A tree near us.
I was still silent just hearing what he said to me. I didn't move a little. I was still quietly fighting with myself. I have to sit down or go into the house I wanted to enter.
" Why are you still standing there. Kan, hot! Later you will get sick without healing. Getting angry later your dad is the same. Your father was angry when you were scared."
While he glanced at me.
" Liyan, it's a hot day. If you're ready for long." Her words were so sorry to see me.
I who was still the one who remained firmly firmly in my head looked at him with a little annoyance and mixed with confusion.
My mind was thinking more and more about the one that had no end point hard. My stubbornness makes me worse now.
The wind that blows accompanied by the scorching sun makes my body want to droop. From then on my mother-in-law has ordered me to enter the house, do not accompany her.
Not how long I stood my mother-in-law was seen ending her activities with her garden.
" Let's go in!" He walked in front of me. Lead my steps slowly.
" What time is it? Have you taken your medicine? Don't take your medicine. You will not be healed. Angry at the doctor if you don't take the medicine."
Immediately I set my feet sitting on the edge of the kitchen barrier with a courtyard.
While looking at my mother, I cleaned the kitchen.
I looked stunned today so strange to me. He didn't look like he always did, which was erratic. Makes my father upset with his attitude like, regardless of the rules made by my father.
" Liyan, you haven't been to school in a long time. So, where kayak! Your teacher won't be angry. Especially if it's an exam." He looked at me clingy.
The breath I drew deep now I let out violently. Hearing the words of my mother who returned to open my memory of my school. My innocent face also looked sad with thousands of disappointments wallowing in me. The desire for school came back dancing in my head.
Looking straight at her with a blank look. I again quarreled with myself remembering my unhealed illness.
" Liyan, if you can go to school. Just school! Don't take a day off. You don't know when to receive the report." Today my mother was so smart. He talks so much because my dad's not home. He continued to water me with encouraging words to strengthen me.
Instantly my desire for school now grew with all forms of consideration that I had made within myself. The consideration I got for having quarreled with myself.
" Liyan, your illness should not be brought too much. It's just a fever." He said without seeing me.
I immediately silently heard and saw her walking with a gaze that she did not know and did not feel as I felt. Who wouldn't want to go to school again I asked myself. I'll let my dad go to school. I must have gone I thought I saw my contact mother who knew nothing.
" Liyan said to your father. Don't you just shut up. You'll lose it if you stay in class. He'll tell people you're stupid. It's like that, if the child who lives in the classroom is a stupid child." Said it spontaneously.
His words to me were a very hard slap with an annoyed face and my heart filled with anger. I looked at him wryly.
Seriate....