The Struggle of a Child
Father's face behind the eye
I'm getting sick of this all by myself. Actually I would love to find a person who can be a tranquilizer in this soul when I am sick and scolded. But it was all just a dream that I could hold with my bare hands. Everything feels so good mixed with mistakes.
The gaze still carried me wanting to look down accompanied by the anxiety between fear and my sister. The entire body feels cold and the small fingers are getting stronger clenching the fear of the spread of the disease that attacks again.
While others with my sister who constantly insist that I immediately maybe tell it to our father. It wasn't easy for me, I thought. That's very hard for me to do.
The yellow leaves that were squeezed by my brother's hand until they were destroyed were now increasingly scattered on his right palm.
"Sister, if you're sick. Brother just say it. Let me know. And Brother is not upset by Brother's beloved mother," suggested my sister. Looking at his fingers that did not stop twisting the leaves.
My sister's advice wasn't wrong, I thought. I have to tell my father the truth. However, seeing the condition of the body that makes me down is not easy for me to follow the advice from him.
My fingers are getting stronger I squeeze behind the body that wants to droop withered. The weakened leg feels more and more like falling to the ground. The eyeballs are now mixed with tears that grow in the eye fertilizers. Glassy eyes also seemed to dare to see my sister who is still decomposing leaves to this day.
"Ana, don't you know if you're sick or not?!" I said repeat it back. Stand up and stare at my sister's fingers that are still chopping leaves strongly.
Cracks!
My eyeballs suddenly widened and was surprised to see my sister who was plumping leaves and grasping them firmly.
"Sister, you think I don't know... If you're lying?!" my sister said repeat it. "I know, sister," he said. Raising my head stared at me with a tightened face. "Just like our father can't lie, brother. If I knew you were lying. Not only are you angry with your brother. Brother's beloved mother will also be angry with Brother. He'll definitely say... Brother who spent money," he explained as if defending me.
I looked down and screamed in my heart. Both eyes glazed over incessantly lamenting half of my suffering soul. The wind was increasingly gusting fiercely against the pale skin of the face and pulled the tip of the clothes I was wearing moved indeterminate direction.
The attacks are getting more and more constant I hear. It was all the time that I accepted until all the joy was so reluctant to last.
"So no lie" I said in a raucous voice covering up what was really going on inside me. Squeezing the fingers withstands the pallor that surrounds the face. "Sister is right, really. Brother is not sick," I repeated in a heavy voice with fear whispering in my ear.
My sister's getting pias. "Sister, if you're honest. Brother can't see the ground" my sister's dream mixed with emotion. "Today Brother has got me in the law. Tomorrow Brother wants to get me in the law again. Brother knows... I don't love my face anymore. That father is now unfortunately the same brother. That's why I'm in law every day!" snapped it. Waving a sharp gaze filled with hatred looking at both of my eyeballs.
The deg!
My heart stopped immediately. My head was like a stone thrown big enough to make me unable to speak or move.
My leg that was still in pain felt like it was tightly wrapped around the rope. The rushing ice water seemed to flush this face so I reflexively closed both eyes firmly imagining my father's dusk face wrapped in wrinkles that had begun to thicken dancing in front of me.
Huhuhuhoo!
More and more sobs sounded out from within the whimpering heart. My defense is getting shaky because I have to choose between fear and my sister again. It's not easy for a kid my age. I was so faced with the dilemma of hearing throw after throw this self-torturing.
"Sister, if Brother isn't evil. Brother should tell Dad," offended my sister.
"But, yes, if Brother is evil. Yes, it's up to Brother," he said. Putting a cruel face.
Encourage my sister to roll this pain up to the crown. The sound of sobbing sobs that were held back even more stifled the chest. Fists the stronger I squeeze. This body is as strong as possible I forced to stand firmly in the middle of the body that almost fell.
"Ana, Brother is afraid," I said . Opening both eyes saw him with teary eyes.
"Where do I know. Brother is afraid or not," my sister continued indifferently. Tidying up her clothes carried away by the wind. "Let Brother know. I'm scared of Dad too. That's why I'm silent." he said hanging his words. Rotating the body discards the leaves that have become porridge.
Sad, alone and worried that's what haunts us today. I could only listen to the chattering of my sister who was fussing incessantly attacking hearing. She's getting so happy to see that she's been talking about me and my pain.
I don't know what he really did to me. I'm totally confused. The more he hates me, the more he doesn't even want to be my current partner.
Lips continued to tremble issuing sobs that were buried as a signal that I needed help at this time.
Hix! Hix! Hix!
Sobs just kept coming out with tears flowing profusely on both cheeks.
"If Dad comes home I'll say.., if that brother is sick!" cetus.
"Hey, who's sick, huh?" asked my mother to join us from inside shouting until her voice sounded out.
The deg!
I was silent. Resisting this inner rolling sobbing. I immediately shut my mouth firmly and stopped crying over this poor self.
"Liyan, who's sick?" ask my mother from behind.
I remained silent to close these lips as much as possible while glancing at my sister who looks faintly by me due to tears that pool in both netra.
"Why didn't anyone answer?" the question is getting higher.
I was so panicked that my sister looked calm turning her back to me. Time and again we asked her she never rubbed it.
"I'm surprised to see you two. Why when asked, all shut up. Last time Mom wasn't here, you guys had a fuss telling stories outside of this. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know, either" she screeched with full vexation. "You're also Liyan. You've started following your sister who doesn't respect parents, huh?" attack with questions.
Ice watering increasingly gushing watering this tiny weak body. My father's face was getting plastered clearly dancing in the empty air greeting my pale face.
.
.
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Seriate...