The Struggle of a Child
A great anger

My sister still survives. The longer I get lost in front of my sister. He still did not want to open his mouth. He kept staring at the floor as if thinking tell or not, the look on the face kept on looking at him.

I'm getting worried about this squeezing fingers hard. Staring at the wall of my father's room and turning my head looked at my sister who was sitting quietly behind me.

The worry is getting worse with myself and my mind. The voice of my father that was heard filling this room further aggravated my own situation. In silence I still stand fighting with myself. Such a brief explanation I got from my sister. He does not want to give a complete speech.

"Ana, if you ask, should you answer honestly?" I asked my sister for her opinion.

My sister saw me. "Sister, I think you should be honest. Otherwise what will our fate be, brother?" My sister immediately gave a proper answer. He also asked me back. Sharpen his gaze.

The frozen fingers the more I knead the more strongly resist the pounding of fear that begs. I still remain standing in the midst of a thrilling anxiety. My sister is forcing me to tell the truth. He continued his eyeballs looking outwards. "Sister, the bamboo tree has a lot of fruit," my sister said diverting anxiety.

"Ana, don't talk about the guava tree," I said walking hurriedly over to him. "Sister was confused, again" I continued looking at the floor that was right under the curtain

"Sister, Dad's very fierce. If you're not telling the truth, we can both get angry" my sister told me.

I was silent after hearing it. I can no longer say anything. The father's name sounded increasingly silenced. The open window seemed to show my father's face looking at me.

I'm getting freaked out, dad is our weapon to make ingenious sense in order to play out. However, this further made me freeze like ice. The words that my sister said to me made the desire to think clearly tell the truth.

"Yes, I know. If you are not honest, '" I said as if I had nothing to strengthen myself.

The tail of the eye just kept looking at the tip of the leg that was standing stepped dragging this body sitting next to my sister. I put this cold little body on the bed. I followed my sister staring at the slovenly courtyard of fallen leaves due to rain and wind.

"Sister, what's the big brother's friend?" ask my sister to break the silence. Looking towards me.

"Did Septiani not say it?" ask me to find out.

"No" my sister replied. "Silver Septiani just said, if you go five, that's it!" my sister answered explaining. Raise both his shoulders.

I took a deep breath. "So I saw a sick friend" I said.

"Which Brother's friend?" ask sister.

"Pudan" I replied briefly.

"Moor?" ask my sister full of question marks. Turning his head back to look outside. "I never saw him. I just know, bang Fikri, bang Rasyd and also bang Solihin, that's what you often accompany" said my sister. "If not at most his friend Brother, Sister Widia, Brother Septiani." My sister is getting her eyes sharpened.

"Yes," I said looking at my sister who said it right.

"The man was another brother's friend. He's a quiet kid" I explained to my meddling brother.

My sister nodded slowly. "so, Brother, if you ask later, Brother must be honest," said my sister giving advice. "Sister, don't you know, if you've been lying...?" My sister pressured me into giving me the choice to be honest. He looked at me with sharp eyes.

"...I won't believe in Brother anymore" I swallowed my saliva.

We both sat quietly in the room. My brother and I were looking for a way out of the problem. My sister who had a storm herself was no longer heard, let alone seen. The shadow that had been standing and walking by no longer disturbed us.

All quiet silence no longer were there noises just the clock of a rotating wall sounding disturbing this hearing. The voice of the father that had strengthened the calm was no longer heard.

Only the day and the sun were visible giving off its rays bit by bit. The sun that had been covered by thick clouds that were cloudy had now emitted its bright rays.

The sister who was beside me, dragged her body backwards to take a nap. "Sister, I'm sleepy. I'm sleeping, yeah," said my sister asking for permission.

"Yes, sleep!" my spoken. Sit down and glance at my sister who is laying down her body. "Sister, if you wake up, wake me up" said my sister.

I turned my head back to see my sister. "Why?" many surprised.

"I want to ask for pocket money. Dad hasn't given me an afternoon snack in a long time" my sister said. "School only, our snacks now, sometimes sometimes not," continued my sister lirih. Saw blankets.

I can't bear to hear what it's like. At first glance I turned my eyeballs staring straight ahead hearing what my sister was saying lying behind me.

The sadness is getting more intertwined. I lamented my shoes that were torn off a little bit. Until now the shoes were never known by my brother and father. Even I didn't tell him at all. I keep it a secret until now. Plus my brother and father didn't ask and pay attention to him.

The shoes that leaned upright on the wall of the room right in the corner of the closet that I accidentally put, hid them from my father. The shoe glimmeredly looking at the end.

Poor shoes that have been torn are still used even though my friend has insulted him. My sister's voice still sounded in the daydream. "Sir, this afternoon I want to buy snacks. I also want to play. I haven't played since Dad punished me because I didn't go to school" he whispered, recalling past events.

"Don't you play outside all this time?" I turn my back to my sister.

My sister no longer said behind my back. He's either silent between sleeps or not. I slowly tilted the little body that sat looking at it. We both met with a glance. My sister who seemed embarrassed immediately turned her eyes to look at the blanket she was holding.

My eyeballs moved following his fingers that moved squeezing the blanket. "Sister, but that's it, we're playing time-stealing" my sister said. "We went away quietly, unbeknownst to Dad," he stared at the blanket and squeezed it even stronger.

"But, you know we're playing" I said.

"Yes, but Brother, if we play too often secretly. Daddy must be angry?! It's not that we play too much and Dad doesn't know more than he knows." My sister loudly raised her gaze at me.

For a moment I immediately lowered my eyes down to see the mat I was sitting on. Even a line of memory justifies what my sister said. My mouth is getting heavy to open. "Ana, not all this time, I know, too" I said.

"What does this have to do with my dear sister's mother?" ask her in a dislike tone.

Hearing my sister's voice. I turned my head slowly straight ahead because again I mentioned the name in front of him.

"Sister, I want us to play not secretly and I also want every afternoon I get more pocket money," said my sister grumbled. Sbal and throw the blanket strong until it is located right next to me.

Baugher!

My eyes immediately glanced at him. His grumbling voice sounded from behind deafening his ears even though he was slow. However, his whimpering caught his guard up. "Ana, but Dad's money isn't there to give us afternoon snacks" I said.

After that my sister no longer spoke. I who sat behind him became even more curious because his voice was no longer heard. I wondered, then looked back. It turned out that he had fallen asleep. The blanket that had been the place of his complaint had now been thrown away from him.

Right now I am just enjoying the gust of wind that goes through the window of the room. The gentle breeze took me flying far away leaving behind a twisting event.

My mother's voice was no longer heard, nor was my father's voice. The two of them who are always at odds every day just because of us. Why have they been improving lately?

The cit! The cit! The cit!

The sound of birds was heard on top of the lush guava tree. The birds were so happy to be seen. I got out of bed and went to the window. I saw a bird singing on a tree.

I was very excited to see and hear her voice that was mutually simple. Happy widened eyeballs.

"Liyan!" Suddenly I heard my father's voice calling. Both lips were immediately closed tightly.

"Yes, Father," I answered hurried over to my father. Pulling the curtains quickly.

The spontane on the right leg that swings forward stops with the left leg holding in the back. "Dad." I immediately lowered my head pulling my right leg back and forth parallel to my left.

My father's body was standing straight as if he wanted to scold me for coming home from school late.

"Liyan, why did you come home, you didn't see you?" ask dad.

I'm getting heavy with the sound. The eyeballs that look at the floor, at a glance see the mother who stands looking at me. "Dad, we saw a sick friend earlier," I replied with a heavy tone of voice.

"Seeing your friend?" ask my mother who is standing in the kitchen.

My fingers are getting stronger kuremas . My mother connected me and walked closer.

"Liyan, why didn't you go tell Dad?" ask my dad to come back.

"Our father left the school crowded," I replied still lowered my head.

"So, the one that rained so hard, you're still there!" my mother said.

"Mmmm!" I nodded in agreement.

"Why not tell your sister, huh?" ask my father with emphasis.

My lips can no longer speak. Jemari the stronger I squeeze this restraint from the tantrums of my father and mother.

"We're in a hurry, Dad," I replied slowly.

"Yes, but right, you and your sister are a school. That's why I made you a school. Let's go later, I know where you are and where you're going" said my father, rising up a little. Resisting anger.

"So, if you're sick out there! Who's gonna know? Is anyone gonna get you back here, hm!" attack my choking mother .

I froze, hung down and shut my mouth. Staring at the two feet that stood.

My father is still standing opposite me. Letting out voices of disappointment filled with resentment.

"So where's your friend's house?" ask my dad to get his chest.

"That door was deliberately open because the way you came in did not shout loudly calling," continued my father to defend me.

"Oh! Where may your door be allowed to open," my mother choked me in a high tone of voice.

My ears shrieked more and more at the loud shriek of the screams. This tiny body was getting trembling and limp. Wanted this poor body to fall on its floor.

"It should be an open door you should not bother" my father snapped.

"God! " My close mother immediately pulled her lips slightly to the side hatefully. The frightened eyeball wanted to look at him, seeing the shadow that was bouncing towards me due to the sun that had come out.

"... because I must know, if anyone comes in," my father replied after hearing his grin.

"Know, know, know! Since when do you know everything! Your son who often goes out of the house secretly you don't know, heh!" he said grinning as if he was laughing at my father attacking as much as he could. "Yes, right? Do you know?" ask mommy to keep us up.

The deg!

My heart stopped immediately and my breath now violently exhaled. Eyeballs are increasingly gripping staring at the floor and the tip of the foot is still cold.

"You never know, if your two children have started to wander out of the house. In fact, they often play in the rain without your knowledge!" hardik's mom connected me. His voice was rising high in the sky of our house. "Especially this!" said persuaded me. "This is your beloved daughter. He had already begun to dare to follow his naughty sister," he continued. "Try asking your daughter. He was playing in the rain or not" he said, telling my silent father to point at me with his words.

The deg!

My heart's getting tighter, my fingers are getting colder. A light tongue to say now. Lips are getting tighter locked. The head still looked down at the laughing floor. The floor I stepped on and I saw as if laughing wide at it.

"Liyan!" call my father to hold his tone and his anger too.

I'm getting a heavy voice, let alone having to raise my head to see my father. Ice watering as if pouring watering from above.

"Look at Liyan's father!" pinta. " What's your mother really saying?" ask dad. Stand still in front of me.

"Where might your daughter answer. Because he's scared!" my mother said I exploded. "Your daughter is not right" he said insultingly. " Two-du... ." He immediately closed his mouth.

"Already! Enough ! Stop that!" sniff my father hard. "Never say that to my children!" my father said high with emphasis. "You have no right to say, like that to my son. After all, only I know exactly about my two Daughters. Not you!" he said emphasizing swinging his index finger into the air pointed at him.

That clinking loud noise made me walk back reflex backwards. The hand that was on the side straightly now stuck to both ears tightly I closed it, so that the sound did not damage my still small mentality.

The half-weathered walls of the house supported themselves firmly. The head that had looked down at the floor was now staring straight ahead upright as if challenging the loud noises that broke the ears. Vaguely visible from both eyes glazed. Mom and Dad were fighting.

"How many times have I warned you. Don't ever interfere in my business with my children. You may rebuke them, you may also counsel them, but never insult my two Daughters" said my father with great emphasis. "They are my children. They are my future too. You don't see him, he's so scared to hear that loud, high voice of yours!" dad said. Swinging my index finger into the air pointed at me.

Huhuhoo!

Tears were pouring down my two cold cheeks. I was so scared leaning against the half-worn wall. These self-collecting screams, screeches and insults that survive themselves in the midst of a loud bang.

"I just said it. I don't speak out loud at all. Indeed your only child is a coward," my mother's dream is to quibble from the truth.

"Liyan, replied Father. Did you play in the rain?" ask my dad's getting tight wondering.

The teary eyes staring at my father who was walking closer towards me widened. The tears flowing profusely soaking down the cheeks kept flowing. Think of the plan I gave as a signal to agree and immediately see the floor.

"That's it, isn't it, your favorite child. The kid you're most proud of, heh!" my mother said she saw it.

"You know, son. If you play in the rain?" asked my father to crouch down in front of me.

My mouth is locked. Both eyes did not dare to look at my disappointed father. I nodded with tears still flowing.

"You can get sick again, son!" my father said with sadness.

My father's face looked at me. More and more kill my stubbornness. I was getting so wrapped up in a lot of guilt. The more and more heavy looks sounded in the ears.

"Dad, forgive Liyan," I said whispering to my father who was still dropping his body right in front of me.

"If you get sick again. Tomorrow you'll definitely not be able to take the exam," my mother said, provoking emotions.

After hearing it my father turned a little head looking behind him right towards my mother while I stood up. Followed by me who saw it while breathing.

"Hush still. Don't try talking again!" my father said in a flat tone of voice. Loading his head back to hold me. "That daddy's afraid of losing you, son!" whispered my father in the ear while stroking my head slowly.

"Dad, forgive Liyan," I said in my father's arms.

"Yes, son," answered my father, letting go of his embrace wiping my tears. "Don't cry anymore, son," asked my father.

I nodded and stopped crying. I was so shocked to see what happened today. The day I got an amazing surprise. Like I can't believe this is really happening. I thought it was just a nightmare that became a sleeping flower. But all real, it all happens.

Screeches and loud noises attacked without permission first. I was almost depressed when it was thrown in front of me. I was getting unsteady standing between two desires, my desire and my father's.

Not even infrequently I want to run away and stay away so that I do not hear it again. I don't want my days to be haunted with melancholy.

My father woke up too. "Son, go in the room and take a nap, yeah!" my father said softly.

"Well, Dad," I replied.

I also turned around leaving your own father. After I opened the curtains. "Ana, are you awake?" many surprised.

"Yes," replied my brother flatly.

I was so weird to see him today. He was not as usual cold and flat. I am haunted by curiosity. I kept my eyes fixed on him. He was with me in the room getting weirdly quiet and not much of a question. I'm getting confused. The heart that wondered even more deeply wanted to immediately find out about my sister.

"Ana, why are you getting up so quickly?" ask me carefully. "Did you just hear the keri... ?" I immediately stopped my question.

My sister didn't touch him at all. He turned his hearing in the other direction. His face became even more silent and made me feel even more unwell.

"Ana, why are you quiet? Are you sick?" ask me with the question that Fikri asked me.

"No," my sister replied with a flat tone of voice and a cold face.

I immediately thought maybe my sister heard or saw me and my dad earlier. I approached my sister. "Ana, did you hear what Dad said?" I clenched both hands and squeezed them hard.

My sister twisted her seat slightly while pulling her lips to the left as if she knew it however, she did not want to tell him. His face was getting cold.

Her attitude that changed spontaneously made me lose my mind a little. I was surprised when she woke up acting like this. I noticed it getting sharper. Starting head to toe I noticed if there was any weird or if he got hurt.

His silence seemed to hit me. Many times I opened my mouth. "Ana, then what's wrong with you?" my many. Keep seeing my ambiguous sister. "Please talk" I said, begging my sister to understand how worried I was.

"Sister, I'm okay. So, don't ask any more," said my sister without turning her head towards me in the slightest.

I'm getting confused. Right now I can't say anything more than gulp down the disappointment of my brother's cold response to me. I slowly turned my body away from him. I walked in following my head that was staring at me behind me. He was still sitting dumbstruck as if thinking of something that made him shut up like this.

The shoes on the wall are still there. My feet slowly approached him. Torn black shoes are still clearly visible. The end of the shoe where the toe is widened. I picked it up and touched the end of the torn shoe. Slowly the eyeballs looked at him nanar mixed with sadness that was stored away in the heart.

The shoes that bully me become a memory. Sadness seemed to be with him. These shoes are still damp. The rain that had been pouring down the road caused me to be late and my shoes were moist.

Eyes that are still damp due to crying are still felt. The former was uncomfortable. The eyes that are painful due to crying are still not gone. I was still staring at my shoes and my sister with the eyeballs mixed with the crying earlier.

My sister and shoes became a lingering unrest in the heart in an indeterminate period of time. I felt guilty for my sister because I had taken away the love of my father who loved her so much.

I am wrestling with this self. Fight with this self too. Fighting against ambiguous problems that I have not heard from him.

I'm the one who's sitting in the corner of the wall right near the shoe that's standing upright on the wall.

"Ana," called me slowly a little afraid of making my sister angry.

"Yes, brother," said my sister still not looking at me.

"No apologies, yes," I said as if I had made a mistake.

"For what?" ask my sister in a cold voice. Look straight at the room curtains.

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Seriate...

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