The Struggle of a Child
Contrition

"I can't believe it" my sister answered. His face was now being bent tightly.

"If you have money, right, we must be given pocket money" I said grimly in view of my father's grief.

There was not even a sound from behind. He was still silently lamenting as if he was lamenting his regret that was stored tightly in his mind. My sister doesn't want to know and doesn't want to hear anything. He remained steadfast with his selfishness. He didn't want to give himself the slightest chance to open up a space of opportunity to understand my father's situation even if it was only a little and even a little bit of a fake. But he didn't want to do it at all. He just wants to be the one to come first because he thinks nothing is more important than him.

The room was quiet and there was no sound of laughter, the screams of children playing today sounded lonely astounding me staring at this room full.

I shook my head even more to see my sister who had not yet died down. "Ana, didn't you, Dad said, if you have money. Father will surely love him," I said telling my sister who rolled my eyeballs to look at me when I said that.

"It won't!" my sister said she denied it. My sister sharpened her glance at me as if she was saying I was pretentious. That stern look made me want to cry. However, I tried hard to hold it as hard as possible.

A scathing look mixed with hatred was clearly emblazoned on his eyes. The cynical look seemed to tell these eyes not to see him again and reminded these lips also not to open wide again. The fear of being mixed with sadness was increasingly overflowing clearly in the corner of this cute eyeball.

As much as she hated me, I thought I looked down at the floor so she looked at me like that. If only I knew this would happen. I won't get my father's loving hand. I also raised my gaze to look at him who was struggling hard with his regrets. I slowly dragged my feet to sit on the bed, right on the edge next to the open window.

This soft, clear eyeball stared pushyly out the window enjoying a drizzling breeze. The rain that had died down after my return now fell on the earth. The half-wide yard was scattered with dry and green leaves that fell due to the wind blowing and the rain that fell was seen scattered to and fro in the wind.

The sound of the bird singing melodiously is no longer heard. They had gone into hiding in search of a safe place where it was far from raining water. I was so confused when I thought about it. My eyeballs were staring up at the fruitful guava tree. The fruit that is ripe and red is very tempting appetite wants to eat it so astounding the heart that looks at it.

The cold air seemed to embrace in its peace to imagine it I could not, let alone forget it. Especially all the problems that happened to me with my sister just now. Problems with friends are now very reluctant to leave. He is always present in the eye so that I remember him every second as if he came to rejuvenate this heart and mind.

In the midst of the dispute between me and my sister. I tried to strengthen myself and make peace with myself until I felt it. Peace and quiet even though I had to try it. As difficult as it may be, I will still do it even if I encounter obstacles. But I don't want to get late in that. The journey of my life and my waiting is precious to me.

Cis!

The sparks of rain blew my mind. The anger that had been lodged in the mind disappeared instantly. The eyes that had been staring fixed immediately pinched. This rain water seemed not to want to see me dissolve in daydreams so he immediately reprimanded with a stub that flew in the wind right at me.

"Aaagh!" I glazed it with my right hand. I who was still sitting instantly turned my eyes down closed my eyes.

Suddenly I remembered my sister. I turned my head to the right side and glanced at him silently. He still just kept the same bending his plain face.

"Ana," called out to me with a bad feeling from seeing my sister like that. Returns glances back looking straight at the floor with a blank look. For a moment I waited for him to answer.

However, until now my sister has not answered him. He still remained tight with his silence. Trivial matters had made him, like one who held a deep grudge.

This feeling was getting panicked seeing him. Worries also increasingly roll themselves up to tangle. Every now and then I want to open my lips to cool his mood. However, I turned back when I saw his face that seemed to no longer listen to anyone including me.

Highlight the eyes that had glanced at him with a heavy heart back to look forward again. Everything is so heartbreaking today. The hungry stomach has not been filled up until now. The appetite that was burning now just disappeared. Hungry is no longer felt.

The father who was excited told us to eat suddenly silent mute wallowing with the new one he heard.

His loud and resolute voice now dimmed in embarrassment. The footsteps that stepped excitedly were now so hesitant to walk.

"Liyan, aren't you eating?" ask my contact mother who is difficult to guess. "Now you eat first! Don't follow your sister!" he said from behind the room like he loved me so much. "Later, if you get sick again. Who's gonna be hard? Try it!" continued. Enter while carrying two dishes containing rice and put them on the bed right next to me. He looked at me and asked with great emphasis and told me to stop following my sister who would not eat.

I still silently looked at him with a blank look whose attitude was always changing.

"Ana, you're not eating?" I asked my sister to turn her head to the side glancing at my sister from the tail of her eyes, in the middle of our continued mother who was still talking towards me.

"Ana, if you don't eat, you'll get sick" I said.

"I'm not like a person who is often sick" my sister replied as if insinuating me.

Gluey!

I immediately gulped bitterly after hearing it and stared at the floor wistfully while my mother who heard it widened her eyesballs mixed in surprise. "Ana, you dare say in the middle of the old man standing near you!" reprimand screeching.

However, my sister did not heed him in the least. "I'm sick rarely" he continued as if he was mocking me. Not at all concerned about my mother who had reprimanded him.

The words were so spicy to me that it made me unable to open my mouth.

"Originally you know, during my school days. I've never been sick before" he said back to his pride. "I've been in school for almost a few years. I've never been sick, '" he said with a full of suppressors telling and looking at me sharply. "...because of the rain I don't get sick." My sister came back to insinuate me. "...let alone do not eat. How could I be sick! While exposed to the rain alone I did not get sick," he said screeching repeating it. "I was lucky to have a good friend at school. Want to give me a snack," he said. As if regretting a little pocket money.

I'm getting cornered mixed up in sadness. Our mother who heard it also fell silent fooling. Strong moans were heard screaming in the heart. For so long I was with him in the room just a mockery, a sneer I listened to. Tears are back in the eyes. My heart is crying again. The vibrating lips get stronger to hold the sobs that want to come out. The eyes also look teary to hold the tears that want to flow.

A strong finger fist held the sobs that curbed the stronger I pressed. The innuendo was clearly heard and plastered in this room space for me.

"Liyan, Iris. Here's your rice" our mother said, repeating it so my sister would stop talking. The present connecting mother who stands before us has become a substitute for the love of our departed mother.

The deg!

My heart stopped immediately. The teary eyes that held back the crying were forced to cover from her. I kept staring straight at the two legs hanging half in the air. Breathing that comes out irregular due to sadness that I hold back may be normal.

"You should eat. Don't not eat. You both will be sick!" said. "Yes, don't make the disease again. Enough of yesterday. It doesn't work anymore!" my mother said to affirm as if insinuating me.

I nodded, still followed by both eyes looking at the floor while my sister did not respond at all. His voice was not heard at all answering even if it was just a deheman.

My contact mother is still standing. "Liyan, you should never ask your father for money" he rebuked as if giving advice. "... because your father doesn't have money," he said affirmatively insinuating my little sister. "If your father has a lot of money, you can't ask for money either" he explained. "...later you will be foolish, if many aides," he continued standing straight in front of me.

I was getting saddened and moody to hear those words. I'm not worried about myself but I'm very worried about my sister. My little sister who doesn't like him so much, she might hate him even more. My hearing is getting louder, especially to my sister. I wonder if my sister sizzled out her hatred or she just kept quiet.

My mommy's getting more excited about saying that. He was getting more happy and excited to keep talking. "You're every snack day. It's just a snack again!" he said he sounded squealing.

"From today, you can no longer ask for snacks" he said, directly prohibiting us. "You too." he said pointing to my sister. "...litit... bitit...jajan.. little....dikit. Never, not bejajan," he continued to search for my sister.

My sister's voice did not sound as if she still remembered my father's advice. Behind my hard sister's self was mixed with a little bit of grudge. It turned out that he still had the value of appreciating the parents stored inside him.

I was so moved and amazed to see it. Awe also arose in my heart to see my spoiled and stubborn sister.

Mother connected us who entered this room without my father knowing at all. He was getting excited and freely saying spicy things to us.

"Your school alone has spent a lot of money..!.this is even asking for snacks. You think I didn't hear it from the outside, huh?" my mother said a little higher pressing us not to be heard by my father. "If you want to snack a lot.do not school!" continued. His words seemed to slap my face directly hard.

I can hear it, I thought. I also dropped my sight seeing the rice lying on the bed. The white rice that was in the two plates seemed to scream bored because it was ignored.

My stomach was so hungry after I saw the rice lying on top of the bed right next to me. The two-plate rice with a medium portion of fried chicken and omelet is very appetizing.

I also gently swung my hand in the air to take the rice in the middle of my mother's chatter which I now ignored.

"If you don't go to school, it's delicious! It can be a lot of snacks," he said again repeating it, followed by my hand that pulls the plate slowly. He followed by my eyes glanced at him who kept blabbering.

"... heard Liyan!" the loud snaps shocked me. I reflexively let go. The plate that was a little more was almost close to me a blink of an eye came loose.

"...if you want a lot of snacks. No need for school! Even your school, if a lot of snacks are useless, just stop !" cetus tightened the chest. "...don't mind your father who is looking for money. You guys are asking for money!" he strangled with the satisfaction of deafening his ears. My breath is getting stifled.

Those words were so heart-wrenching. There's not much my sister and I can do but listen to it. I briefly thought and imagined my sister's face now. His face must have been very pias reddened, his eyes must have glanced sharply. Her plain and spoiled face might now be wrinkled even more tightly. It was so hard to hold back from answering everything he heard.

My sister and I today are like statues waiting to be moved. Sit quietly without doing anything. I was a little sorry because I came home from school late and was also willing after remembering my father could no longer give me pocket money. It felt like my hope had broken when I saw our house on the waves. This scroll grew increasingly tangled as if there were no more small gaps for quibbling.

I repeatedly blinked my eyes so that my mother and I disappeared immediately. I act as a sorcerer who can bring in and eliminate everything instantly.

"All the money your father was looking for. It's all gone for you, "his dream of not staying silent because it's his victory day to scold us because my father didn't know he was going into this room.

I who was frozen was very restless and worried. I never thought today was a bad day for me. As usual I always go home from school to get a good reception. But after this I could no longer imagine it, let alone expect it.

Spit regret will today more clearly visible I swallowed. Where my mother was so offensive to this. The insults and sneers were so enthusiastic about wanting to stay in this room until night seemed to make it last.

My contact mother who said spicy, hard, and rebuked with everything. It shows who I really am. I was so weak when I heard it. However, the face of the sister who was responsible for me in the future revived my spirit and firmness.

My mother-in-law was still not satisfied to take out all the words stored in her heart. He was also unwilling to give up so easily as if he was on the battlefield facing the enemy.

His eyes widened without any guilt, glaring with hospitality at me who was sitting on my back to my sister.

"Liyan, if you're not in love. Are you whining?" mother asked me to insinuate my sister who was cornered far behind me.

I just kept quiet hearing it. Even a letter, I can't say it. Moreover, it must be answered completely. That whimper was a satire that he deliberately spouted out to offend my sister.

"You're the biggest kid. So, the biggest kid has to accept anything, right?" he said ask me who was a kid. "...I'm sure you're not like that. Who likes to whine only because of the jajan," he cetus. "That's what your father used to say. If you have to keep giving up, hm!" His tone of voice seemed to emphasize the sharp eyeballs staring at me.

I who was still down continued to see the floor in my seat that was bent. I'm like asking the floor, when will my mom get out of here? I was tired of hearing her flickering so much that I wanted to close my eyes.

"Liyan, Iris. From today onwards. You guys don't ask for any more jajan! If you can, the school also does not need to bring pocket money!" heed it at will.

"If we don't bring pocket money. How are we at school, if we're starving?" asked my sister who suddenly made me raise my head to glance at her.

The deg!

I was shocked as if I couldn't believe hearing it. It was like a dream that made me open my eyes wide. After a long time I waited for my brother to make a sound. Finally, I heard it too. I just let out the panic. My sister quickly opened the mouth that was silent.

My mother connected me as if struck by lightning in the rain in broad daylight. His face instantly flushed like a boiled crab. His round eyes were getting wider. She did not expect that my silent sister had changed. He also did not remain silent in sight.

"You're not afraid either, ha.sama your father," said the mother, threatening my sister.

For a second my sister went back to silence as if she remembered it and imagined that our father was getting angry. He was like he was thrown with a big stone so that the mouth that had been opened suddenly remained silent.

"Haah? You've been brave, hmm?" My mother was getting louder from her tone. It seemed like the embers were now exploding burning his soul.

The atmosphere became strange with the blink of an eye. There are no words that can stop our mother from connecting us other than my father's footsteps.

I who do not dare to stare straight, hope big in my heart that my father will come soon and I can fill my empty stomach. I was starving because I kept seeing the rice that was near me.

"Hunger," I murmured slowly. Seeing rice.

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Seriate...

Friends who stopped by my friend's novel yes, the story is very interesting, nyesel loh if you do not read ! 🙏