WHEN LOVE IS TESTED
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It's not about how hard I survived, because in fact all this time I was able to get through all the difficulties, but this time about the heart, yes the heart that rebelled, I don't know anymore, I already know, how to calm him. My heart was not asked to be patient again, until it felt like it really wanted to disappear from the face of this earth, hoping that this life was just a nightmare. I wish I didn't wake up from my bed.

Life is full of treasure, far from tears, and when I wake up from sleep, I am always filled with love, but in fact again it is just a false shadow, he said, my heart ached when I returned to the fact that the person I loved was nothing more than an ambitious man, who justified all the means to get what he wanted. Shocked, sprained, loathed, fed up, confused, all those flavors mixed together.

 “Astagfirullah“ many times I say istighfar, hope Allah gives peace to my heart.

I immediately got up, then stood up, set foot into the bathroom, this house happened to be the bathroom located outside the room.

When I stepped up, my steps stopped, faintly I heard the sound of people laughing, sounding so warm, so comfortable, this simple house on stage, it actually felt more comfortable, when I lived, when I lived, ten days have I lived in this place, the atmosphere is comfortable full of peace, the more I strengthen not to return home immediately.

Ms. Retno, Mr. Giman, and a young man, I'm sure, he is Randi, their son whom they told me about. Such a warm family, I really envy the sight before me. I quietly peeked at them, watching their every conversation.

“ Nak Randi, how was it working?? Smoothly?” ask Mr. Giman.

“Alhamdulillah smoothly pak“ replied Randi.

“Eee is, this Father, son Randi is a smart child, so it must be smoothly“ Bu Retno chimed.

“Eee alah, nothing to do ma'am, smart as well as smooth work“ Pak Giman mimicked the sound of Retno bu.

“Ish, the father of Kayak The father of his school pinter aja“ Bu Retno pursed his lips.

“Ish, if you are not sinter how can you like the Father??” again, Giman imitated his wife's voice.

“Yes because the khilaf's mother pak“ replied Bu Retno while raising her lips.

“Yes yes, so my khilafnya Mother, until we waded decades of this household ark“ Pak Giman mangosteen.

“Ih ... Father, I getok use new nyaho“ mama Retno threaten.

“If the Father is in ulek, then the heartbroken mother“ Mr. Giman seduced his wife while menoel his wife's chin.

“Ih, basic Father, can aja“ Bu Retno down bashfully, while shifting her seat, which continues on pepet pak Giman.

“Ekkhhheeeemmm ..” Randi cleared his throat, smiling.

“Eeehhh. .. forgot, there's kak Randi, hhhiii“ They laugh together.

Watching this scene, All the shadows of my family appeared in my head, all this time, I almost never saw Father and Mother getting along, or greeting each other well, there was always a fight between them.

“Dad, Mom, am I too greedy??? If I expect something that others have?? I also want to be like them Daddy, Ibu“ softly, my heart murmured.

I have the title of my prayer rug, I have performed the four prayers, and then I raise my hands, ask for guidance, ask for peace, and ask for protection from God. This is all I can do now, berdo’a.

After doing’a, I did not want to get out of my seat, I just fell silent, still sitting cross-legged on the prayer mat.

“Son, are you really in here?? Do you miss your father, grandmother, and aunt???” subconsciously I stroked my stomach, I didn't understand, why he was able to survive after everything that happened, the accident was quite fatal, I was thrown to the bottom of the abyss, I was in a coma for almost a week, I was in a coma, but why can my son survive??? This is truly a miracle from God, perhaps this is called ‘hablu minannas’. Maybe this child also made me survive and realize from the coma, as long as I was treated, I was only treated with alakadarnya care, even though he said my injuries were quite severe.

“Nak Anjani misses his family huh??” suddenly Retno went into the room, and joined the rest beside me.

I looked at her fixedly, a middle-aged Mother is so kind and gentle, I smiled gently “Mother, is there anything more torturous than longing???” my many.

Miss Retno returned my smile “Mom don't think there's a“ she replied.

“Mom know, son Anjani must be having a problem right??” tanyakanya.

“Kok mom know???” my many.

“Typically, when someone just wakes up from illness, or when they just come home from traveling, the first person they ask is their family, but son Anjani does not seem to want to meet the family nak Anjani“ Bu Retno asked me with his own face, as if he felt what I felt.

“Hmht, it's just that I'm currently disappointed bu“ replied I lowered my head, my tears almost shed.

“Everyone must have been disappointed, right, son??? Just how we handle it, son Anjani, not only want Anjani who was ever disappointed, but everyone was also disappointed, but, among them there are those who can survive, but, and someone gave up, son Anjani want to choose which one??? Forgive with a peaceful heart?? Or keep planting disappointed and hate in the heart of Anjani son??? It feels planting hatred is not good you know nak“ at length ma Retno advised me, little by little my heart began to open, although not yet fully able to accept Retno ma'am.

“If nak Anjani chooses to continue to be disappointed, it's an option nak Anjani, but at least think of the child in nak Anjani's womb, he doesn't know anything nak“

The deg!

Maybe I was an evil mother, I used to desperately do’a, hoping to be soon in the grace of offspring, but why now I even waste it? I really love the fetus I bear, but have to meet again with the father of this fetus?? Who me??.

O God, once again this pain slips into my chest, I don't know what to do now??.

I don't want this child to be away from his father, I don't want, what I'm going through, my son's experience, I want my son's life to be filled with the love and affection of his parents, he said, but what about my disappointment??? Should I forget it?? Should I forgive this child's father???.

Again I was confused, I don't know which way I should go now??.

Oh God, give me your guidance.

Be connected...................

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