WHEN LOVE IS TESTED
Talaqs

“Anjani, I used to marry you in a good way, now I will divorce you in a good way.“ sounds Bagas so vibrate, his eyes glazed.

Although I had prepared myself to hear this harsh reality, my heart was not strong. Even though I don't love my husband very much, I've lived with him for almost a year. How could I possibly serela that, if my household should be interested in the word talaq.

“Why???” tanyaku lirih

“What's the reason Bagas wanted to divorce me?” my tears are starting to rise.

“I can't explain anything Jani, but for sure from now on, I have fallen for you, you are no longer my wife, I no longer have any obligations to you, nor do you, nor do you,“ Bagas voice sounded so shaking violently, his tears had even shed on his cheeks.

“I even just lost my son, can't you wait for me until my physique improves?” I looked at him pus, maybe this was my last look for Bagas.

“I'm sorry Anjani, I'm not a good man, although I've been trying to be a good man“ Bagas' tears are getting shed.

“I accept talaqmu Mas, I hope that in the future we can still sail well“ replied I who no longer want to hear the words Bagas, my heart is very sick, my heart is very sick, I don't know what to describe it with.

As much as possible I hold my tears from dripping, “Go home Mas Bagas, after getting out of the hospital I will go straight home to Mom, I hope Mas Bagas will deliver all my goods to Mother's house, Mas Bagas take good care of yourself yes, do not forget to eat, do not forget to eat, do not ruffle all the items just because Mas Bagas want to find one item, do not bring shoes into the room, do not over time play online games too, later the eyes of Mas Bagas cepet broken“ I remind Bagas, do not play online games, like a mother reminds her son.

“Anjani, don't make me harder to leave you“ Bagas trying to hold my hand.

“We are no longer muhrim Mas“ I gently brushed off Bagas' hand.

“Anjani, what should I do??? I was so frustrated by this fact“ Bagas raved and sobbed beside me, his body falling to the floor.

I turn my back on Bagas, because my tears have spilled “Go Mas, live happily with people better than me, learn to love women, learn to love women, come back to your nature as a normal man“ I said as I sobbed in my tears.

“I go Jan, I will try to be a real man, I'm sorry Jan, only you women can accept my shortcomings, I hope my disgrace will only be your secret“ said to Bagas then he hurriedly ran from my room while continuing to sob, I just know, it turns out my husband is that crybaby.

I sighed, staring at my husband's departure. After his departure, I cried. Lamenting my farewell to my gay husband. I was very hard to part with Bagas, but I knew this was the best decision for us. I couldn't continue to force myself to stay afloat, while my partner had already lost the appetite for survival.

Mom came and hugged me tightly, I knew Mom was involved in my separation with Bagas, whether I had to let alone what I told Mom, there was a deep disappointment in my heart because of Mom.

“I'm sorry Ibu Jani, I'm not a good Mom, I've married you to the wrong guy“ I kept sobbing while holding me.

“I can't stand my test of love this time“ I'm still crying bitterly in Mom's arms.

“In this world no woman wants to be Jani's widow, but believe me, if your marriage has too much injustice then separation is the best, dzalim is a sin, right??? Don't keep making other people indulge in her sins.” Mom keeps trying to calm me down, but I'm getting less and less understood by Mother's words.

“Mother, it's not a farewell that I regret, but it's a meeting that I want to repeat, I want to be able to meet a husband who can be a priest for my life, but why??I always meet people who don't appreciate me??” I started to whine as I pleased.

“Jani, believe me, there will always be wisdom behind every calamity“ Mother said very gently while wiping her tears.

“I know Mom, but why?? Exams like never receding from my life??” I stopped crying and looked at Mom.

“Because you are strong, because you can pass it“ replied I firmly.

“But I think, I'm not that strong My mother“ is weak.

“If you are not strong and unable to pass this test, then God will not test this test on you Son, you know Jani, you know, God will not give tests to his servants beyond his limits“ explained Mother still with a firm tone.

“Mother, did Mom used to feel this sick when Dad left Mom?” I asked suddenly which made Mother stunned.

“More than this Son, because Mom has to raise you and Beautiful alone“ replied Mother whose tears flowed back.

“But everyone has different levels of pain, maybe what you feel now is not as much as the pain of Mom used to be, and vice versa“ replied Mother at length.

“Mother, forgive Jani, if Jani has a lot of faults on Mom, pray Jani, for Jani to be strong past Jani's new status, Jani, pray for Jani to be steadfast in the face of every test that God gives Jani“, I asked Mom, holding her tight.

“Sure Son, without you even do'a Mother is with you always“ replied Mother while stroking my head affectionately.

“Thank you Mother“ my tears kept flowing down my cheeks, I kept crying until my eyes were swollen.

“Yes Allah may my pain and sorrow become kiparat, may my fatigue be the redeemer of my sins“.

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