WHEN LOVE IS TESTED
My Wedding

The day that my mother finally arrived, today I had my wedding with Bagas, the cold man I had not loved, whom I believed he could not love.

I married my Father's Guardian, after shaking hands with Father, Bagas said his hijab, and in just one breath of Ijab was immediately endorsed by the witnesses, everyone cheered happily, and congratulating us on our marriage, everyone praised my husband, who he said was very handsome, and authoritative, I just smiled, what is handsome, dignified, job is the standard of happiness for a wife?.

To be honest, I hate this marriage a little, if some brides will proudly sit in the arms with a happy smile, then I stand in the shade with a thousand fake smiles, I greeted the invited guests with a blank look, not much different from me, Mas Bagas also did the same.

We are not happy, we do not love each other, I did not expect that this phase of my life would arrive.

O Allah I am quite tired of your every trial, but I know I can pass all this, will not God bestow a test that is not in accordance with the ability of his servant, right? I want to rest only on every destiny of God, There will always be wisdom in every disaster, although I do not know yet, what wisdom I will achieve after going through this difficult journey.

Time passed very slowly, until I continued to curse him, my legs were very stiff, even cramping, because all day standing using heels high enough, not to mention my clothes were enough to interfere with my movements, and even cramps, because all day standing using heels, I did not enjoy every wedding procession, probably because my partner was very stiff, and put on a face that was not sincere.

I walked towards my room after the event was over and it was almost night time, I immediately darted into the bathroom, and immediately cleaned myself up before Bagas entered my room as well. As the show took place my mind floated everywhere, I was scared, embarrassed, and didn't know where to start.

When I came out of the bathroom, I looked over from behind the door, afraid Bagas was already in the room, and it was true that he was sitting on the edge of the bed playing his phone. He looked at me, then turned his face.

Ah, I'm a wife now, but why does she still give me that look. He didn't say a word, he just went straight into the bathroom, and did his ritual.

I decided to wait for him on the edge of my bed, wondering what would happen after Mas Bagas came out of the bathroom.

After Mas Bagas came out of the bathroom, I was getting stifled, my chest pounding even more. Mas Bagas turned to me who was watching him, it was not wrong what people said, my husband was handsome, even his good looks beat the men I had previously known.

“Anjani, there's something I have to tell you“ Mas Bagas started to open his voice.

“Iya what Mas??” I asked while holding my head up.

“Anjani, honestly before marrying you I already have a lover, I originally intended to marry him, because we have been in contact for five years more“ he explained which makes my heart hurt more.

“O yes??” I round my lips, honestly I want to cry at my husband's statement now, but my tears don't come out, as if I know that I can't show my weak side to the man who has become my husband now.

Bagas turned his head towards me, “Iya, I hope you understand, I can't love you“ he continued.

“Iya, I understand“ I replied while turning my face away.

“I married you, just because you kept forcing me to marry you” she continued which made me no longer want to hear anything from her mouth.

“Then??” reply origin.

“Then what about our household in the future??” manya lazy.

“No how-how Jani, we only need to carry out our obligations as husband and wife, “ he replied lightly.

“It's up to you“ replied me while laying down on the bed, tired from greeting hundreds of guests so it's not much because I heard the words of the ice man.

“From tomorrow we move to my parents' house, for a while we'll stay there” I still hear his voice under the blanket rolling over me.

“Emang should be tomorrow huh??” my many.

“Yes, if you don't want to, then I will end this marriage“ he replied casually without burden.

“Even not even one day one night, you have the heart to say split Mas, can not you appreciate this marriage??” I asked while holding the hatred in my heart.

I heard no more Bagas' reply, I just felt Bagas had laid his body beside me, I knew he had not fallen asleep, just like me. How could I have fallen asleep after hearing such hurtful words from my husband. He didn't even touch me.

***

After Ijab qabul I officially became a wife. The wife of a husband who obviously can't love and love me. I smiled in front of a lot of people. In front of my parents who were super protective of my life from the past until now even after I got married. In front of my super considerate and kind in-laws.

That day bears witness to our sacred story. From that day until this moment, I tried well to be a good wife, a wife who conforms to the teachings of the hadith and the Quran. Although sometimes I was very disappointed in my husband's treatment, because I was just a human being. Usually human, I have a very fragile conscience.

Sometimes I often get angry with myself with all his attitude, which is indifferent, and indifferent. The first month at our wedding, I don't think I've ever spoken well, just chatted, joked together maybe, or whatever a newly married couple should be, it all feels flat.

It is understandable and very understandable, considering he had to marry me, maybe his five-year-old ex-girlfriend is more everything than me, or maybe anything can be on his mind.

How sad my heart is, how painful my body is, but I smile, strengthen myself, strengthen the people around me, but only me, my heart, and God alone understands what my heart and mind are breaking, I am selfish, because I accept the proposal of a person who obviously does not love me, is very selfish maybe, I want to shout as much as I can, he said, but again I couldn't do anything, I just smiled, and said,

“I'm fine, I'm fine"

Husband, I never blame you. Here I have never felt wrong with our meeting, only I think this is how God brought us together I never hated you, even though you seemed to be very comfortable talking to others, but not being able to speak well with me, I was never disappointed in you, even though not a single romantic word came out of your mouth for me, or never once did you rub my head, she said, my husband I hope someday you will fall in love with me, love me, and do things with me, someday you will be able to appreciate my every effort and hard work in serving you, someday you will be able to wipe my head and ask “Anjani you are okay?“ My husband trust me I keep a lot of love, affection and hurt from you.

Seriate.............

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