How Will You Say Goodbye?
Apologies

"Do you really love her?" That was the first question that came out of Ammar's mouth. After giving a little understanding, Rey finally willing to let Kinan and Ammar speak four eyes, while Rey out of the ward with a difficult feeling to express.

"Yes, Mas. I love her." Answer Kinan sure. He emphasized every word.

There was a heavy breath of Ammar.

"Did he treat you well?"

"Hemm"

"Are you happy?"

"I'm happy, Mom." Kinan looked into Ammar's eyes. There were no lies there, that's what Ammar meant by the look in the woman's eyes.

"Goodoo. Maybe it's too late, but can you forgive me for everything I've done to you?" Unexpectedly Ammar took Kinan's hand and grasped it gently.

Kinan nodded quickly. "I've forgiven you, it's all the past. Don't worry about me too much, Mommy." Kinan slowly pulled his hand from that grasp, trying to release it properly.

"Why can you live happily with her but not with me, Ki?" The cry of Ammar broke. The grain came out of the corner of his eye. "But at least you're happy. That's the main thing." Further.

"I hope you also find your happiness, Mas. It's not too late if you want to fix yourself."

"I'm broken, Ki. It's all too late. I don't even have anything right now. Whether it's treasure or love." Ammar chuckled at the end of his sentence.

"Don't you think about the love of your children, Mas? You still have them to make you stronger. I believe you'll rise again, Mom. A Kinanty can't really make your life ruined. I've found my happiness, I wish you were too." Kinan shed tears. However Ammar looks so sincere at the moment and the man was once a part of his life.

Ammar rubbed his tears, trying to curl his lips, trying to form a smile.

"Alright, Mas. I think our discussion is over. Do not involve personal matters with anything else. Including your request to my husband. I know you understand what I mean. I sincerely pray that you'll get well soon." Kinan turned his body around, he did not want Rey to think that no-no if this conversation was longer.

"Thank you for forgiving me, Ki. I will rise again for the future of the children. Visit once in a while to see their situation and.take your husband."

Kinan nodded from his position, without turning around.

"I won't ask Rey anything strange anymore. I'll retract my report. I know this is not entirely the driver's fault. It's also because of my stupidity."

Kinan turned to look at Ammar. "Thank you, Mum. Don't ever do anything bod-oh again." Kinan left Ammar.

Kinan opened the door of the ward, he went out and passed the police guard and glanced beside the door of the room, where there was a row of waiting chairs one of which was occupied by her husband. Rey got up from her position because she saw Kinan had come out of Ammar's nursery.

"Have you?" Ask the guy. Kinan nodded in response.

"He didn't ask for anything weird, did he?"

Kinan.

"He wants to come back to you?"

Kinan shrugged his shoulders.

"Speak, Honey. Don't just like that." Rey felt awkward with Kinan's attitude, a feeling of fear enveloping her heart. Did Ammar say anything bad? Ruin Kinan's mood? Or did Ammar actually complete his wish, unwilling to retract a report on Doni's case?

"He's gonna take this out on the force." Said Kinan while sitting on the chair that had been occupied by Rey.

Rey was surprised and in Kinan's footsteps, he sat next to his wife. "meaning? The case won't be extended?"

"Huum."

"really? Did he ask you for something weird and you did it to get the case over?"

"He didn't ask for anything strange. Believe me, Mas Ammar also still has a conscience. He's self-conscious if this isn't entirely Doni's fault."

"You complimenting him?"

"Haha, I'm not praising him, honey. I'm telling the truth." Kinan smiled brightly looking at Rey. While the man throws his lips because Kinan blatantly says Ammar has a conscience which means indirectly Kinan says if Ammar has been kind. But suddenly Rey turns her mind to Kinan's other words. What did Kinan call him? Ah, Kinan called it 'Honey' and that was progress. Rey smiled suddenly.

"Why?"

Kinan's face flushed red, he just reflexively said that. Ah, didn't she ever call Rey 'honey' before? Ever right? It doesn't seem like yes? It's usually Rey who always calls 'Honey' to Kinan.

"Try repeating!" Pinta Rey again.

"Sa."

"That's sweet. Again, again!"

"Dear." Kinan was already smooth and did not hesitate anymore, although his face was now flushed like a boiled crab.

"Can you call me that every day?" Rey rolled her eyes. Suddenly his bad mood had turned into a very good one.

When they are joking. The appearance of an old woman in front of Ammar's ward all but disappeared because Kinan was aware of the old woman's arrival.

"Nlt.nya?" Kinan got up from his seat, closed his mouth reflexively as he stared at Latifa's old body that was not as fit as it used to be, the old woman's face was blushing and her eye circles looked blackened. Kinan was a little flabbergasted by the significant change.

The old woman turned her head because she felt called, she looked at Kinan with a difficult to interpret gaze. Suddenly, in a matter of seconds, the woman had already rested at Kinan's feet, making Kinan even more surprised as well as Rey who was beside him.

"Mrs.. What are you doing?" Kinan asked as he tried to make the woman stand before him. "My lady please don't do this." The biases of sadness began to appear again on Kinan's face and Rey felt a sense of awkwardness here. Rey suspects that this woman is the mother of Ammar who often hurts Kinan. Suddenly Rey remembers the old Kinan. In the past, Kinan often mentioned this woman in his nightmares.

"Kinan, I'm sorry. I'm guilty of a lot of you. Ii'm sorry. I'm sorry!" Latifa refused to stand up even though Kinan would have helped her up. Latifa dissolved in her apology at Kinan's feet.

"Mrs should not do this. I'll listen to you but sit here." Kinan pointed at the waiting chair he was behind.

After a while, Kinan and Latifa sat side by side in that waiting chair. Latifa forgot about Ammar for a moment because she dissolved in guilt of accidentally meeting Kinan. Rey went somewhere after Kinan signaled for the man to leave Kinan with Latifa to talk to each other.

"I feel so guilty about you, Kinan. I tried to harm you with Shirly. But I don't really know what Shirly's next plan is." Latifa sobbed to remember her mistake.

"If I'm to be honest, it's all against my conscience. But, my spite and dislike for you made me. Forgive me, Kinan. I'm guilty of you!" Further.

Kinan shed tears again, reminiscing about the painful times of his life that began with the cooperation between Latifa and Shirly. Kinan remembered everything clearly at this moment, he wanted to forget and forgive Latifa but somehow everything that happened could not make him forgive just like that. His body was abandoned, became a miserable woman who was raped, became an unregarded wife, accused of cheating, felt depressed, tried to get away, until it ended in a mental hospital. All of this could not be lost from his memory.

Latifa continued to persuade Kinan to forgive her, but as if she did not hear Latifa's crying voice again, she dissolved in her own thinking. Kinan seemed to be pulled into those painful times.

"Kinan, if you can't forgive me now it's okay. I'll try again, if I need to every day I'll be on your feet so you can forgive me, son."

Kinan regained his senses when Latifa touched his shoulder, he reflexively wiped away the tears that had already flooded both of his cheeks.

"Mrs, I don't need your apology anymore. This is the first and last time you say that."

"Kinan, what does it mean that you will forgive me?"

"Yet. But I hope someday I can forgive you, madam."

"Kinan..." Latifa's voice sounded soft.

"I hope this will be our last meeting, Madam. Because meeting you made me remember those painful times." Kinan confessed his feelings in front of Latifa. What part of living with Latifa is able to please her or make her happy?

"But Kinan, I haven't got your apology. I'll meet you to keep apologizing until you're willing to forgive me." Latifa sat down with her knees before Kinan.

"I will try to persuade myself to forgive you. But I don't know until when. Obviously, I don't want to see you again, ma'am! I hope you understand, because there are no happy moments between us that I can remember in order to make excuses for you." Kinan said firmly while standing up. He ran away from Latifa who was still sitting on the floor of the Hospital.

Kinan pulled over at the corner of the Hospital, he held his chest suddenly tight, seeing Latifa actually open her old wounds. He can't be hysterical, he has to take care of his mentality again. Kinan tried to regulate his already irregular breathing. He stroked his stomach slowly, as he suddenly remembered his little baby. Suddenly her phone rang, her husband called her.

"I see you, honey. Don't cry, I'll pick you up there. Wait for me!" Rey.

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Seriate...