EMBRACE YOU: Presence & Poison
Episodes 10

...

Warm.

Silent.

I could feel this peaceful atmosphere as slowly my blurry vision was replaced with a pastel-colored room ceiling. My sense of smell is so sharp it smells of antiseptics and drugs.

I felt stiff all over my body, as well as my left hand felt like something was stuck. I raised my hand and found an infusion there. After looking around I found no one, I was alone and the window glass showed the night sky.

My last memory was when I met Bayu's face, after which I not only smelled her scent but her barithone voice was very clear in my ears. The sound of his heartbeat was like it was stuck in front of my ears and—dan.. My face feels hot, though,

Suddenly my heart was beating fast, just thinking about it made me very nervous. However I know Bayu, he is my ex-boyfriend, he is also my childhood friend.

I remember when I was seven when I first met him, I was a new kid in a tutoring place, he was there, he was, sitting on the third bench from behind with her flat face looking at me as I introduced myself in front of the class. Since we were often one class, I knew that he was not a quiet child like my first impression of him, he was very ignorant and always ran around in class with other male friends.

Then before long he and I talked to each other, he started talking to me which made me have to chase him in class because he was too upset with his behavior. I only knew him less than two years ago after he moved schools.

After ten years, I finally met him again because it turned out that my best friend was his cousin. I never knew someone who was told that my best friend was Bayu. They're very close.

At seventeen, Bayu and I got back together as old friends, we used to play threesome everywhere until when my best friend had to leave this city to continue his studies in another city, then only me and him left.

We were dating for less than two years, then I decided to move out of town to go to college and work in the city branch. I remember how he asked me to stay loyal while he was in the military camp, pursuing his dream as a soldier. But I let him down, I didn't keep his promise. I left him and now after five years I've come back to this city with the same feeling I've always had since I left it.

But I realized, I shouldn't blush when I remember it, my heart shouldn't beat

again for him. I've decided to stay away from him five years ago, I shouldn't have involved him in my life. But just thinking about it makes my throat hurt, my eyes hot and my chest tight.

 Maybe, if only my life was better, if only I could bring the man before my mother and say ‘Mother, this is the man I love, who I want to be with all my life.’ But I'm scared, very.

I'm afraid Bayu isn't happy with me, I'm afraid to bring him to my family's problems, and what I fear is that Bayu will be used by Mother and Daniel.

Just thinking about it makes me want to cry, I need some fresh air. So before I actually cry here I immediately get up sitting with difficulty even though my body feels sore. Then I glanced at the infusion hose and saw the liquid inside the pouch was gone.

I grabbed the watch on the nightstand, showing it at three in the morning. If I remember, I've slept for over fifteen hours. Now that I feel my body feel better, I can walk to the door and open it.

The hallway of this hospital looked very quiet, at the end of this corridor was a long podium where the sisters worked, but I only saw a few of them chatting there. Not seeing me coming out the door,

Not wanting to meet the sisters, I finally started walking the other way, seeing that there was an emergency stairway at the end of the corridor. I really need fresh air, without thinking straight in there, the emergency stairs this morning seemed dimly lit and creepy. But I continued my steps up the stairs, going nowhere to take me but I wanted to find at least the balcony of this hospital.

I remember, my father once told me that I was born at midnight at exactly twelve and five minutes. Since childhood when I was afraid of something my father always told me his myth if the person born in the middle of the night was a brave person, he would not be afraid of trivial things like ghosts. Because of her frequent thundering, I grew up to be a girl who did not easily fear ghosts or darkness. I could go home to college alone until twelvepm and thankfully I was never bothered by ghosts.

Like now, even though this staircase does look creepy but I still step forward. And my guess turned out to be correct, after passing through three floors I could finally see a glass door that led directly to a large place. It's like a rooftop but it's not, because there's still another ladder to go up to but I'm quite satisfied here.

I could see houses and tall buildings from where I was standing, the wind was blowing against my body, I didn't care how cold this morning was. I am glad to find such calm. All I heard was a gust of wind, I liked being alone like this because I could think of so many things.

I am a person who likes to think, I am a person who likes to hear, I will not talk much when it is not needed. My friends say I'm an introvert. But I'm good at hanging out and love being with friends. I definitely took the time to meet them even though the chance to meet us was only once a year. But then again I am a person who does not easily tell my problems to others.

If this sounds selfish because I only think of myself, but do I not occasionally have to be selfish for inner happiness?

I took a deep breath and took it out, I closed my eyes feeling the wind keep moving through my body, making my long hair a little messy.

Braakk...

My inner calm had to be shattered when I heard the sound of the door slamming, not the glass door behind me but I was very sure it was from inside the hospital somehow on what floor.

Trying not to care, I turned my back to the door to enjoy this view of the city before me. I'm happy to feel comfortable like this, I—

BRAAAKK!!!

This time his voice sounded closer and louder, a little annoyed and curious, I walked slowly towards

this glass door and I surged in shock as someone appeared from there.

.