EMBRACE YOU: Presence & Poison
Episode 40's

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“Icha!! Hey!”

When I felt someone touch my arm, my eyelids blinked, realizing that the figure of the beautiful woman wearing her doctor suit had been standing next to me.

His black eye lens was staring at me intensely. I who had no intention of moving one bit looked back out

window. I don't know how long I've been standing in front of the window, staring at the hospital. Pay attention to patients, nurses, doctors and people who are there.

“Your office and campus have received your sick letter for the next week. You don't have to worry. Now focus on your recovery.”

Last night when I came home, Doctor Cilia was waiting for me at the gate. He wanted to visit me but seeing my condition, this beautiful doctor immediately took me to the hospital.

He was furious, asked me what I was doing until I became like this. I kept quiet more and more

my voice is not heard. I didn't answer anything she asked, knowing that my situation reminded her that when we first met a few years ago, Doctor Cilia was very worried that I would fall back like this.

Moreover, all night I had a high fever, my whole body was throbbing pain. I couldn't stand the pain, I half-consciously knew that Cilia's doctor was taking care of me all night.

“Come lie down. You still have a fever.” Cilia's doctor followed me to the top of the mattress while carrying an infusion attached to the back of my left hand.

I who just followed him was still silent. There was no more spirit in me, I felt like I was

put everything down, no matter how hard I try, all this time nothing has really been my happiness. I'm alone and pathetic like this.

Doctor Cilia covered me to the chest, I did not look at her. My eyes were staring at a single point

before me. I was like a puppet to him.

I know, this woman is checking my temperature, hearing him sigh slowly indicating if

my fever hasn't come down yet.

“Scream if you are in pain. Cry if you can't hold it anymore. Look at me when I

talking to you, hm?” Hearing her plea as if it was just angina then for me.

My body that was still silent did not respond making Doctor Cilia even more furious.

I'm sorry,. Everything is too hard for me to deal with at once.

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My world is now like a white canvas still in the form of sketch lines. It takes refined pictures and colors.

Right now I am as usual, sitting on a hospital park bench this morning staring at the brightly colored sky

blue, with clouds marching following the sweep of the wind. It's been five days since Cilia's doctor let me be in the morning sun.

The idea managed to calm me down a little. I think I can think more calmly, I have also started to respond

doctor Cilia who often invites me to chat. I couldn't answer, but I listened and stared at him occasionally.

For five days I didn't hold a cell phone at all. There may be dozens of messages or calls from my colleagues, asking about my situation or just asking about work. But, I don't know for me now I have to get well soon. The spirit to heal has slowly risen to see in the last few days I have been watching hospital patients who eagerly want to recover, their rehabilitation diligently, their dream to get out of the hospital immediately.

Seeing them like that embarrassed me, I who was luckier than them was too late in the day

But all that still did not change the loss of my voice. I still can't hear my own voice. I occasionally spoke to Cilia's doctor using easy sign language.

Feeling that my body was already hot enough in the morning sun, I slowly stood up and pushed the infusion tube slowly towards my room. Almost all the nurses who stood guard in this building knew me, several times they offered to help me but I was living alone in Aunt Rose's inheritance house, of course, refused their help. I can still be alone.

When I was just sitting on the side of the bed, my gaze glanced at the mobile phone on the nightstand. Considering I've never touched it at all, I finally thought about taking it.

Once the screen was turned on, my guess was correct. There were dozens of missed calls and dozens of messages. Almost

half were from my co-workers, some from my college friends and some from Bela and Mia.

Then there was the missed call from Daniel ten times, and also the message from mother and Daniel. My fingers hesitated a little

when I want to open a message from my mom. My heart suddenly beat fast and my chest cavity was suddenly very tight, as if I had found no oxygen.

Before my finger touched Mother's message, my eyes saw that there was a message from Bayu among the unread messages. Without thinking twice I opened the man's message first.

“Icha, are you still angry? Please contact me.”

“Why not reply to my message? You don't even read it!”

“I'm on duty, I can't go see you but it looks like you're really still angry. You ignored my message again.”

“Alright forgive me. Call me if you want to talk. You know, I'm not calm like this. Why at a time like this do I become a soldier??”

“About the engagement, I have witnesses and video evidence that I have actually cancelled it.”

The messages from Bayu made me rethink what happened that night. Actually in my heart, I

trust words. How the look on her face, how Jane's reaction when Bayu will firmly bring the evidence. Obviously the woman could not refute Bayu's words, Jane did not even warn me to the extreme of seizing her fiance because she knew that they were already

dissever.

Seeing how Jane reacted, I could guess if that woman just wanted to play me for being so

we knew each other in an improper way. Then Bayu did not look panicked at all when he met Jane, even when I asked him about his engagement Bayu did not try to cover it, the man only looked very sorry for never telling me.

Again, all because at that time I did not want to hear anything, circumstances that forced me to do that. After this I need to be stronger. I need to be able to think cold. I wish I could suppress my emotions more.

But I can't contact Bayu at this time, not yet. I need to heal first. I can't be like this in

in front of the man. I've been blown to pieces so deep, in this guilt of taste.

My previously ordinary hand, again shook slowly when my mother's message was about to be opened.

“How hard is it to contact you? Where are you?? Why not go home?”

“What are you doing with the land in Bali?? You blocked it from being sold?? Quickly go home!! This kid's getting harder to control!”

“Hei stupid boy! You always test my patience! Where are the other land papers?? You just want to master everything alone! Your sister's the one who should have gotten all that! From the beginning you have no right to anything! You can live until now because your mother is defending you! Proud not to reply to mom's message! Child does not know thank you!”

My gaze suddenly twitched, the tightness I felt in my chest cavity was more painful than I had ever felt until I could stand it no longer and groaned softly. I squeezed my breast clothes and my legs turned into jelly. Not strong to feel all this, I cried and sobbed slowly.

The reaction I gave when it came to mother this time was very unusual. I don't know what happened to me but I can't take it anymore. My whole body is in pain, especially my heart that feels hot.

My increasingly unfocused eyesight brought me down onto the cold floor and I could feel the infusion needle in my hand coming off painfully. My head was dizzy once more and I could no longer hold back the rest of my consciousness until it quickly darkened and turned quiet.

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