I'm Not an Old Virgin
Season II: Mahligai of Love (Chapter 5.8)
What am I supposed to do?
It was the first thought in my head. I want to see it but at the same time I don't want to see it either. There was an unbearable longing when he saw the cold handsome face but there was also a slicing wound that had yet to heal in my heart.
Here is the man I love but there is also the girl loved by the man I love.
What am I supposed to do?
I was silent staring at the ground, my hands no longer moved picking the cucumber. I wonder should I run and hide from them?
However, if I did then wouldn't it be the same as telling them that I was sick?
Hah, how pitiful I am. Even here I am still trapped in pain.
"Mashaa Allah, Ustad Vano and Ustad Azam want a demo of what brings many handsome santri to the rice fields."
I consciously raised my head to look directly at Asri's happy face. Ah, how jealous I am of Asri. He was happy and easy to laugh, his heart was still free from the entanglement of pain while I was?
I was still circling in the same place after being let down by the man I loved. Hem, how envious.
"What are they talking about with the three of them?"
The three of them?
I was foolishly looking at her following her gaze. On the roadside Kak Tiara, Kak Sasa, and Kak Frida spoke with their heads bowed. They spoke to the group of Ustad Vano and Ustad Azam who had just come up with a group of male santri behind them.
I'm not interested in the others but my eyes are just glued and can't turn away from Kak Sasa's bowed face. Even from here I can see her shy smile. Not the kind of friendly smile that forms when greeting people, I'm sure it's not that kind of smile.
But this is the kind of smile that is formed when looking at a liked person. Sister Sasa apparently likes Ustad Azam, ah.what I think.
They must have liked each other but because they were shackled by their rules for a while harbored each other.
Then my eyes turned to look at the handsome face of Ustad Azam who was much more shady and approachable. This tenderness I never got it when we were engaged.
Right, just a cold look and a sense of wanting to keep the distance he threw at me.
Huh..
If not wrong, it is a potato plant. I just need to dig the ground to get the potatoes in it, 5 trees might be enough to fill my vegetable basket.
Then after that I might be able to leave immediately.
"Mega, where do you want to go?" Asri called.
I fixed my expression trying to be as normal as possible and turned to look at Asri.
"I'll dig up potatoes. We'd better get the job done so we can quickly finish this sentence and get back to the dorm." I said not only to Asri but also to Ai.
I'm in a bad mood. I don't want to linger here. I can't stand it.
After that I took my vegetable basket to the very end of this rice field. Along the way I tried to lower my head so that Ustad Azam was unaware of my existence. I don't want to be flashy and noticed by Ustad Azam. Because if he knew I was here then maybe he'd think I ruined his mood.
"I have to finish it immediately." I said encourage myself.
Didn't wait long for me to get to the potato line. I then choose the best and most distant position, if possible this position must disguise my presence and not be conspicuous.
"I think maybe it's here." I'm not too sure but my feelings are telling me if this is okay.
"Then I'll dig here." I decided without waiting for a long time.
I sat down on the ground. Position my vegetable basket on the side before I start digging. But I just realized I didn't use gloves to dig up the ground.
Without gloves can I complete my task?
Confused, I stared at both of my palms that were spotless. This hand I have treated carefully before. I never thought that one day I would use it to dig the ground directly.
"You know what else, let's just say this was my first valuable experience. After all, days like this I will definitely go through in the future during my stay at this boarding school. So, just think of this first experience as an exercise for me."
Maybe today will happen again so I have to get ready from now on. Get myself used to activities I never touched before.
"Bismilahbornrahmanirrahim." My prayer before it starts touching the ground.