When Love Should Determine
Chapter 105

Along with their quarrels that continue to drag on making the Lujak Larissa business more and more quiet days. This is exacerbated by the impact of the covid-19 pandemic outbreak that hit almost the entire world. But behind it all was one thing he had forgotten.

Religion says that a wife's heaven is behind her husband's riddho, and a husband's sustenance and success are behind a wife's prayers and smile. This is the important thing that Larissa and Hamzah forgot about.

Larissa is very frustrated with the state of her household. There is no clarity on where this marriage goes. In addition, the decline in sales turnover is also enough to make him restless, especially just from the business of rujak that is the source of income so far.

The more days Larissa's mind burden accumulates. His body was very thin and unkempt. The condition is further aggravated by loss of appetite. Until one day he too fell ill.

Larissa complained of very strong pain under the armpits. And after he checked, there was another lump. If the lump used to be on the left breast, then now the lump is on the right breast.

Larissa was devastated by this fact. He was worried that the lump in********** this time was malignant cancer just like his mother had. He immediately went to the doctor to find out.

The results of the diagnosis showed that Larissa suffered from the same disease as before. The doctor suggested surgery. The lump is only the size of a thumb, but doctors still recommend surgery on the grounds of accelerating healing.

Larissa breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the doctor's description, at least her concerns were not true. And it should be if he was grateful for that.

Larissa remembered one thing, when undergoing surgery once the doctor advised not to use any contraceptives and advised to get pregnant again to restore the situation. But Hamzah insisted on refusing on the grounds that he was not ready to have a baby again. At that time, their economy was also unstable.

Now Larissa regrets because she obeyed her husband's wishes. He thought that if he had followed the advice of a doctor, he might not have the same disease anymore. She talked about it with her husband to find a solution.

"Intik, there was another lump in my breast, said the doctor I had the same disease again" Larissa said one night. At that time they were relaxing in the living room while watching television.

"Then what does the doctor suggest?,"

"The doctor advised to take surgery. But I don't know, I haven't made up my mind yet," put my shoulders up. "If you think what?."

"I think?," Hamzah turned the question to his wife to make sure that she really wanted to know what she thought.

"Yes, you think!," Larissa reconfirmed her words.

Hamzah put down the tv remote he was holding. For a moment thought what he would say while looking at the face of the wife. "I follow what you want. If you agree with the doctor's advice, I'll take you and keep you company. But if you're not ready, I'll try another alternative. "

Learning from previous experiences where they had a big fight because of his rejection of the operation taken by Larissa, this time Hamzah chose to leave all the decisions in the hands of Larissa herself.

"Actually I'd like to agree to the doctor's advice, but...."

"But what?."

"If I have surgery again, then automatically I will not be able to sell during the recovery period later. Then what do we eat if I can't sell. You don't have a job, we have a little savings."

Despite being sick and needing Hamzah's help, Larissa still demeans him just because he has no job of his own.

Hamzah was silent, trying not to be swayed by the words of the insinuations his wife threw. He thought of the best way out. "If you want to have surgery, then do it! Don't worry about money. I will try to find a way out later," he said with confidence.

"Yes, I will try!," Hamzah answered Larissa's doubts with complete confidence that she would try.

Instead of being lazy or not looking for a job, Hamzah just has not found a job that suits him. But that doesn't mean he's silent and just holding hands. It is precisely he who does all the homework, and even intervenes to help serve the buyer.

Hamzah never wanted to be a burden to his wife. He knows that a man's self-esteem is his job. But how else, he did not get a job even though he tried hard. Unfortunately Larissa did not understand that and instead made it as an excuse to demean her own husband.

Since that night when he hurt Larissa by making an accusation against him, Hamzah has changed a lot. He really regretted his mistake even though he himself did not know whether his mother or Larissa were lying. But, baby, all in vain.

Like a proverb, indigo a speck of broken milk. Such is the proper proverb to describe the current state of Hamzah. Larissa never wanted to see the change in him and even closed the door sorry for him.

Even so, Hamzah never blamed Larissa's attitude. He realized, it was he himself who caused all that.

...****************...

Long story short, finally Larissa again underwent surgical removal of FAM(Fibro Adonema Mammae) for the second time.

As he promised at the time, Hamzah actually accompanied Larissa during the operation. And not only that, he even took good and sincere care of Larissa during her healing. Never heard a sigh from his lips even though he himself was tired and tired.

Seeing the attention and affection that Hamzah was trying to show, little by little Larissa's anger and hatred towards him began to fade.

"Why do you still want to take care of myself like this? You could have left me at this moment. I'm just a sick woman, especially I've been hurting your heart on purpose lately" Larissa said one day after Hamzah helped wipe her body.

"You are my wife and I am your husband, so I have an obligation to take care of you, especially under these circumstances" Hamzah replied without looking back at Larissa.

"lik! I don't think that's your reason."

"I'm not lying. I'm just trying to do my duty as a husband, that's all!."

"If you're doing this just to pity me, then stop! I don't need pity from you."

Hamzah put a basin of used water wiping Larissa's body on the nightstand. The face of Larissa was intense. "I'm not doing this because I feel sorry for you or anything. I'm doing this because I'm purely doing my duty."

"But why? What reason?."

"Because I still love you. I want to right all the wrongs and give our marriage a chance."

Tesss....

A drop of tear fell on Larissa's smooth cheek. "Is that how much you love me?."