When Love Should Determine
Chapter 36

Hamzah did repeatedly make Larissa hurt and disappointed. But not a bit was ever caught in the mind of Larissa to separate from him. For him, marriage is quite. And he will try his best to keep it.

Although it is undeniable, Larissa also often feels doubt if Hamzah is really the best mate God sent for her. Remembering all this time Hamzah always made him shed tears.

Before marrying Hamzah, Larissa had once dated a young man from the city of Pasuruan. The young man was still the nephew of one of the kyai in a boarding school there. He also has a large amount of inheritance from his grandfather.

At the beginning of his introduction to the young man, Larissa only considered him a friend. But gradually the feeling of like also appeared. The young man always treated her like a princess.

After a long relationship, Larissa also introduced the young man to her mother. And her mother agreed with her choice. But unfortunately the parents of the young man who bless their relationship. But the young man did not give up. He promised Larissa he would fight for their love.

However, the promise of the young man was just a sweet promise. Because one day the young man suddenly severed their relationship unilaterally over the phone. Heartless, the young man compared Larissa to another woman he had just met.

Being thrown away by the young man did not make Larissa heartbroken or sad. Not a single tear came out of his eyes. Even he was grateful, because he knew how the original nature of the young man before had gone further.

At that time Larissa also prayed, "O Allah, I did not ask for a handsome or rich soul mate. I just want a soul mate who can understand me and can be a role model."

That is why when he met Hamzah, he agreed to marry her because he was enamored with the honesty she showed. He thought maybe Hamza was the soul mate God sent for him. But somehow, after they got married and had children, Hamzah's attitude changed. Even Larissa often can not recognize who she is.

I don't know, it feels so dizzy to think about it. But it is also impossible if he has to withdraw from this marriage. Because in this case, the child will be the victim if both parents divorce. He did not want his son to grow up without two complete parents like him.

Larissa can only hope, may Allah open the door of Hamzah's heart. And hopefully there is a way that can bring him back to be the figure of Hamzah he used to know. Hamzah is so loving and caring about himself.

In addition, Larissa tried to remain patient in the face of her husband's attitude. Is not patience no limit. It is man himself who puts limits on that patience. Larissa wants to be a more patient person. Although it is undeniable that it must be very difficult. Because talking is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand.

This morning as usual, Larissa went to a stall not far from her house to buy rice. But just as he was about to return home, a distant neighbor named Ma'am Ida stopped his steps. "Rissa, come here for a second!."

Larissa also denied her intention to return home and approached the woman who called her earlier. "What's up, mbak?" he asked when he arrived in front of Mother Ida.

"Whose long name?" mama Ida asked back.

"Ravela!" the answer. Every day he is called Rissa. Her full name is Larissa.

"Is there no other name in front of that name?" ask again.

"No! that's all," replied Larissa astonished.What's the matter, Ma'am?."

"weirdo, yes! yesterday he said their first names were the same" he murmured. She spoke very slowly, but Larissa could still hear what she was saying.

"What's up, Ma'am." Larissa repeated her question because Ms. Ida never gave an answer.

"Ah, no, there's nothing" he replied in a lie. But it seems he is still curious about the figure of Larissa. He asked again, "Whose name is your father?."

Larissa was getting confused suddenly being asked like that. But he still answered that question as well. "My father's name is Furqon!."

Larissa was shocked to hear the woman's words. "Mother Ida knows my father?" tanyakanya. His eyes were perfectly round so surprised.

"I don't know your father very well. But I know your father's brother very well. Your aunt's son is my son's friend. She used to tell me about you when we were both waiting at school."

Larissa was surprised to hear the confession of Ida. "Ja.so, couldn't Ida really know about dad!" he stammered. He did not expect to know this all of a sudden.

"It can be said that!."

"Sir Ida would like to, not take me to my brother's house?. I want to know who and where my father's family is. I also want to know why you never met me" Larissa said expectantly.

"of course! I'm glad to take you there. Actually the house is not too far from here" replied Ms Ida.

"When are we there, ma'am?" ask her enthusiastically.

"Tomorrow the day after tomorrow morning. Come to my house after you cook. I'll take you there. I happen to have no activities that day."

"Thank you very much, Ma'am. The day after tomorrow I'll go to Ma'am's house." Highlight Larissa's eyes look sparkling. He could not wait for that day to come. There are a lot of things he wants to ask when he gets there.

Gegas Larissa returned home and finished the homework. This time he did it all cheerfully.

Larissa chose not to tell this to her mother. Because he knew if he told her, his mother would have disagreed with this plan and forbade him from going there. That was why he kept this plan to himself.

But Larissa could not hide anything from her husband. He told her everything that happened this morning. He also told me about the plan.

But Hamzah's response was not in line with Larisaa's expectations. "Aoa you're crazy! How'd your mother react if she found out about this?" his yell.

"I know that, which is why I didn't tell him this."

"Do you want to hurt your mother by going to your father's house?."

"I have no intention of hurting my mother. But I have no other way of knowing all the secrets that you've been hiding from me for years about my father. I just want to know about Dad. That's my only goal!."

"You don't know what it's like to be booed by people for not knowing about their real father. Even I was thought to be an illegitimate child because of it. And it hurts so much."

For a moment Hamzah fell silent to Larissa's speech. "Whatever you want. I'm not gonna get in the way. But one thing you need to remember!. I don't want any responsibility if your mother finds out about this."

"You just calm down. Let me suffer the consequences. I'm gonna figure out a way to explain to mom about all this. But that's later, after I get the answers to all my questions during this time" Larissa replied steadily.

Hamzah will not argue with Larissa again because of this. He chose silence and let what his wife wanted.