When Love Should Determine
Chapter 76

Larissa immediately laid down her body in the room and pretended to close her eyes as soon as they got home. He didn't even care if his daughter was asleep or not.

Larissa pulled out the blanket and covered her entire body. He was crying in silence. He shed all the tears he had held since. She covered her body with a blanket so that her husband would not know that she was crying.

Larissa deliberately did not tell the incident to her husband. Not because he was afraid of the threat of uwak sodiq, but because he himself could not digest what had happened to him earlier.

Larissa tried to erase the bad events that happened to her earlier by closing her eyes. But no matter how hard he tried to erase his memory, bad events were not also lost from memory. The incident followed him like a shadow.

'Oh my God, why is all this happening to me? what's my fault?' lamentable.

Larissa continued to wail and wail. He regretted why he had been invited to the house of Uwak Sodiq again. Before leaving, he had a feeling that something bad would happen to him. But he also left on the grounds of not wanting to disappoint the husband.

Now it's all happening. And regret is meaningless when all is done.

...****************...

The next night Hamzah again invited Larissa to the house of Uwak Sodiq for treatment. He looked so excited that night because there was something he wanted to do there later.

Unlike yesterday, tonight firmly Larissa refused the husband's invitation. "No! From tonight I won't be there."

"But why?" hamzah asked confusedly.

"There's nothing. I just don't want to go there anymore" Larissa replied flatly.

Larissa deliberately did not tell the real reason why she did not want to go to the house of Uwak Sodiq again. Let it be his secret. After all Hamzah looks so deified the middle-aged man that it feels free when he tells it.

Hamza looks very angry. He cursed his wife. "Bad! Basic women do not know in profit. Been helped, even won't."

Larissa did not care about her husband's anger. He decided to go into the room and go to bed.

...****************...

Since the bad events that happened to him that night Larissa turned quiet. He only speaks when necessary and answers when someone asks him to talk.

The shadow of that bad event continues to dance in memory. Larissa was disgusted with her own body. Even when the memory came back, he rubbed the ************ repeatedly right where the disgusting man's former lick was. He did so by using a cloth to cause a rash on his feet that was pure white.

Even so Larissa remains active as usual. He continued to sell as usual. He realized that if they did not sell, they would not eat. Because their source of income is only from this sale.

Working in the midst of physical conditions that are sick is not easy. Especially now his mind is also disturbed. Until now Larissa's body was getting thinner because of the burden of suffering.

Hamzah closed his eyes with a change in his wife's body. Either he realized it or just pretended he didn't know.

...****************...

Sometimes fate doesn't go the way we want it to. And when that happens our choice is twofold.

Or second choice. Accepting the fate that we consider bad, mengikhlaskan, and try to find happiness in it by rising from the slump and looking for meaning behind the destiny. Then we will find ourselves as an increasingly mature and resilient person. And sobriety will always accompany our steps.

Larissa decided to choose the second option. He knew he had a young child and still needed his presence. He did not want to continue to fall by lamenting the bad events.

The first step Larissa took was to go to the hospital again to have a lump removal surgery. He must heal if he wants to see his son grow up.

But before that, Larissa had to convince her husband to take her to the hospital again. And talking about this made her memory go back to the moment before she went to the hospital with her husband for the first time.

At that time, Hamzah refused the desire of Larissa to seek treatment to the hospital. He was afraid to see his wife in surgery. Until a fight broke out between them.

The night after the prayer magrib Larissa cried as she pleased in her room while calling out the name of the father who had been long gone. She was so desperate because her husband was against her will. Until it feels like he just wants to die after his father who was gone at that time.

"Dad, come here. Didn't you want to take me with you?."

"Dad, nobody here cares about me anymore, not even my own husband. I feel alone, Dad."

"Dad, get me. I want to be with you. Since childhood you have never been with me. Don't you want to be with me now?."

"Dad, I'd rather die now. I cannot endure all this suffering. Maybe when I die, I'll find happiness."

The sound of Larissa's cry sounded so heartbreaking and heartbreaking. To make Hamzah's heart break because of it. He approached his wife with the intention of calming. "Why are you crying for your father?" said gently. Dijapnya melts of tears that fell soaked the beautiful face of the wife.

Instead of answering her husband's question, Larissa brushed off his hand trying to wipe away her tears. "Don't touch me! What are you asking for? don't you care about me anymore?."

"Who said I don't care? I care about you so much."

"You lied! You never cared about me" cried Larissa in frustration. "I'd rather die. I just want to go after my dad."

Hamzah hugged Larissa's body tightly. His body trembled violently along with the tears that were spilling. He felt how frustrated Larissa was at that moment. "Don't say that. Really, I'm not ready to lose you."

Larissa smiled bitterly as she tried to let go of her husband's embrace. "Isn't that what you want? The proof is you don't want me to heal."

"Who said I don't want you to heal?. I'm also very worried about your illness."

"If you're worried about me, then why did you refuse to take me to the hospital?."

Hamzah was silent. Either he won't answer or he doesn't have an answer to his wife's question.

Seeing that her husband was silent, Larissa asked, "Why are you silent now? Let's answer!."

Hamzah remained silent. Not flinching at the insistence of his wife.