Behind The Lies
Grieving Does Not Have to Torture Yourself

Since the incident that night, Aruna is increasingly judes, she continues to try to avoid eye contact with Iyash. When the female students idolized and shouted Iyash's name while the young man was playing basketball in the field, Aruna actually secretly stole a glance. However, when Iyash caught him, he quickly turned around and it made Iyash smile. 

After the incident Iyash himself felt restless and difficult to sleep for several days, even he felt his chest pounding and continued to imagine Aruna's face. She should have forbidden herself from falling in love with the girl, because that feeling might not be reciprocated. But because it has already been, so let the feeling grow as it is. 

After the ascension exam, Iyash again got the best score with the first rank in the class. She has always been proud of herself for putting aside her feelings for Aruna and staying the best in class. After one year of studying in Surabaya Iyash returned to Jakarta and accompanied Iqbal looking for a university and majored in Humanities. 

After returning from Jakarta Iyash was surprised by the news of Aruna's disappearance. Since morning Mr. Ridwan looked for him and before Maghrib Aruna still did not come home. 

“You help Mr. Ridwan find Aruna, maybe he played to his friend's house,” Grandma Alma told Iyash. 

Iyash just nodded, then went to accompany Mr. Ridwan. 

“Yash, usually Aruna play where, in whose home?” ask Mr. Ridwan.  

Iyash's heart is breaking, he really doesn't know about Aruna. He said he liked it, but he never found out anything about Aruna. 

“You don't know?” ask Mr. Ridwan again.

Iyash. 

“Sorry yes, interrupt the break.” 

“Nothing, Sir,” said Iyash as he continued to follow Mr. Ridwan. Dusk dimmed, adzan maghrib reverberated and Mr. Ridwan looked increasingly restless, even with Iyash. 

“Where did Aruna go? What if something happens to her?” ask Mr. ridwan fret. “She is the only person you have.” 

Iyash's heart felt pinched hearing the shakes of Mr. Ridwan's voice. They kept walking combing the rocks at the edge of the garden. 

“If anything happens, you cannot forgive yourself.” 

“Aruna must be fine, sir,” said Iyash tried to calm down. 

“You tried his friends' phone.” 

Iyash nodded and tried to contact his friends one by one. No one knows where Aruna is. Mr. Ridwan looked even sadder. Iyash remembered that when Mas Iqbal laid siege to Aruna, they were out of the river.

“Maybe to the river, Sir,” says Iyash. 

“What you want to the river, Aruna once drowned there and she had a trauma.” 

Iyash's eyes are both in a pattern. “Yes we've been looking there first, sir. Who knows if he's there.” 

Eventually they went there taking the road leading to the school because the river was behind the school building. “Aruna bring her bike, ‘kan, sir?” 

Mr. Ridwan nodded. When they had just arrived at the crossroads near the shop of Pak Yanto they saw Aruna walking his bike in a shabby and limp state. 

“Aruna!” peeking Mr. Ridwan while running and hugging his daughter. Mr. Ridwan let the bicycle held by Aruna fall, but Aruna did not return his father's embrace. His gaze was empty and he seemed to be keeping a disappointment. 

“Sorry father, yes, son,” said Mr. Ridwan as he held his two cheeks. However, Aruna really did not respond to the father, even though his father again held him in his arms. 

“Now we go home yes.” Mr. Ridwan then bowed and took over Aruna's bike, then led her. 

Iyash himself looked confused. What's he supposed to do? He simply did not believe Iqbal's departure was able to leave sadness in Aruna's heart until like this. How can an Iqbal melt Aruna's heart? Nah! Iyash did not accept. 

For a moment Iyash stared at the back and continued to notice how Aruna was walking. Very lethargic and uninspired. If it was because of Iqbal's departure, he wouldn't have had the gap to get close to him.

Iyash then approached and walked beside Aruna.  “Mas Iqbal said hello, sorry did not have time to leave because he had to leave before dawn,” coral young man just to be able to see a happy twinkle on Aruna's face. However, Aruna did not give any reaction and did not even turn her head at all. 

“Sorry, if you say hello to me,” Iyash added slowly.

“Thank you, son,” said Mr. Ridwan, while Aruna was really cold and quiet Iyash, even he did not seem to think the young man existed. 

Iyash understands that Aruna still hates him, all this time he has not apologized about the narrative paper he threw, about the photos and about him kissing her mimicking the scene Baek Seung Jo did on Oh Hani. 

“Pak Ridwan, then I first,” said Iyash slowly. 

Mr. Ridwan nodded and Iyash immediately turned to Juragan Hartanto's house. In front of the turnstile Iyash stared and watched Aruna. He didn't even know her that afternoon. 

***

For almost a month Iyash became a second year high school student, not much has changed with the classroom atmosphere. However, one thing that stuck, Aruna attitude that more and more silent and lost her cherry. Everyone thought that this was all because of his sister Iqbalnya who left. Iyash is still curious, is that right?

After all, Aruna had to torture herself by thinking about Iqbal. Iyash could only sigh in envy as well as jealousy. Lately Aruna even separated herself from all her friends. She read the English Literature by Jane Austen as Pride and Prejudice, a gift from Iqbal. What's so special about that book? 

“I heard he also wants to study there, eat it now diligently study, he wants to get a scholarship,” said Naya half whispered. 

“When did he talk?” tanya Bagas curious. 

“When he knew Iqbal wanted to study in Jakarta,” replied Naya.

“Yeah, I envy, want there is also a dear one I like Aruna to Kak Iqbal,” said Umam. 

Immediately Iyash swerved. “Honey to torture yourself,” said the man annoyed. It seems that only Iyash realized that what Aruna was doing was wrong. “Masku is still alive, he is not dead, people are just left to Jakarta, why as sad as that, kayak who will never see again, he said,” Iyash added a bit loudly so that Aruna who was at another table can hear it. 

    “Ya we have already told Kak Iqbal aja,” proposed Naya. 

 “No need,” refuse Iyash does not like. “You should know that Budeku does not agree with their relationship, so, I hope that none of you interfere with Masku's education. If you don't want Bude Mira, you don't like Aruna.”

“You made up a story, ‘kan?” accuse Bagas. 

“No, you can find out for yourself,” said Iyash. 

“Listen yes, even if you are in our group, does not mean you are our friend, after what you did to Aruna all this time,” reply Bagas fierce. 

“Indeed what I do, hm?” 

Instantly they fell silent. Iyash was convinced that they had no answer. “You are all cowards. Indeed I do not know, if you also like Aruna,” Iyash said on Bagas. “You relented because Dennis and Uman also liked it, ‘kan?” 

“Do not snitch know you.” Bagas. “About you hate it, you can act as you please, so?” Bagas pushed Iyash's chest. 

“What does it mean?” Iyash also got up. 

During this time Iyash managed to pretend to hate Aruna, even though he liked the girl for a long time, before they were united in the same school. Every time he vacationed in Surabaya, Iyash always watched him. However, just like Bagas, Iyash might also succumb to Iqbal.