MUSE
S3 ~ TAKE OFF MISS
THE MUSE S3
EPISODE 121
S3 \~ TAKE OFF LONGING
\~ I do hate him for doing all that to me. But there is no denying that there is such a deep longing when he touches my body.\~
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It was raining heavily, as hard as my tears right now. Leon was still standing in front of the house for a while. He let the rain fall on his body. I want to run back to him. Hugged himself and said a thousand words of apology for hiding my psychic illness and also all about Zean.
However, moments later a woman approached Leon, I never knew who she was. He hugged Leon and invited him back home. I could only watch them disappear in the dark of the night.
I fell down, slumped down, saw her with another woman making my heart ache even more. I lay down on the cold floor, hugging my knees. Curling up the body so that this dull hissing can soon disappear.
“Sickness, Leon,” My hand grips tightly against the shirt in front of the chest.
“Do you feel the same?”
“I'm sorry, Leon, but I really never betrayed you, my clean”, my tears came back.
— MUSE S3 —
•••
Finally this separation was inevitable as well. Leon didn't call me last night. He would rather leave me. He must be very disappointed in me. I was disappointed in him too.
My veins are painful, probably because I almost sliced them this morning. I'm frustrated, I miss Leon so much. I almost tried to end my own life. But it turns out my guts aren't big enough. I threw a knife on the table and came back crying. The thin streaks still shed so much blood, flooding my face and turning my tears red.
•
•
•
I have been separated from him for a week. Leon didn't ask me at all. He didn't try to contact me at all. I tried to call her, but her phone number was no longer active. Now our farewell leaves only a big hole in my heart. Also the longing is so heavy.
My sense of longing is getting crazier. I miss his presence, miss his laughter, miss his warm embrace.
I miss the way he called my name.
I miss the way he puts his nose on my nose.
I miss the way I love me!
I miss her, my heart breaks, I need her, I need her love.
“I miss, Leon,” I said on his bedroom window. But there was no answer, the house was now empty. Leon's gone, he left that house and me.
Blame me until our relationship becomes like this?
A cutter's scar imprinted on my wrist. I covered it with a little tattoo with a funny lion head, just like the picture in my medicine box.
I calmed my soul when I saw the tattoo. I can't be disappointed, at least Leon once filled my life with his great love. At least we've shared a pulse together.
— MUSE S3 —
•••
After my class ended, I finished the book on the table. I heard some friends were being stabbed. They are talking about a ceramic exhibition from all over Indonesia.
“What are you talking about, anyway? Really cool?” I tried to follow the nimbrung.
“This, hlo, Papaku yesterday bought a ceramic auction owned by the winner of the competition of ceramic artists in Indonesia.” replied Ella, one of my contemporaries.
“Tau no, Na. The winner is very young, the same age as us.” said Mona, another friend.
“Oh, yes?”
“Iya, where she is handsome. Take a look, Na. Canneries? It's so jolly, isn't it?” Ella held up her phone in front of my face.
“Leon?”
“Iya, his name is Leon. You know her? Crazy fuckin' hot! Tattonya makes melted spoiled.” Mona giggles.
“He made the work for his girlfriend, and worshipped his winnings also for his girlfriend. Cute so sweet!” Mona and Ella shouted in excitement.
“What did you say?” manywould be surprised.
“Udah handsome so sweet?” Ella shrugged her shoulders.
“Previous, La?” ask again.
“He worships his victory for his girlfriend.” Ella repeated her words.
My heart immediately sank, it felt so painful. For a moment I was silent and silent, the shadow of his handsome face flashed in my mind. I really feel guilty, Leon did everything for me. And I lied to him for my ego. I don't want to listen to his words. My obsession made me close my heart and my senses.
“Honey no social media, want to follow.” Ella bit her finger in agitation. Leon has only created social media to follow me.
“Sorry, I go first,” my farewell to both of them.
“Be careful, Na.”
•
•
•
I walked lethargicly, glancing towards Leon's now empty house, there was no sign of his return. The clear details of the tears melted again, soaking my cheeks.
“You're really pathetic, Kanna. You decided it, now you're looking for it!” I grumbled to myself.
I wipe my tears, I don't want to go home right now. I went back to calling the ojol car and went to a lounge.
Arriving there, I ordered a bottle of alcohol, downing it quickly. I hope that drink can take away my longing for her. I almost spent half a bottle of wiskey alone. My head was now heavy, my voice was heard starting to rumble.
Triiin... 🎶
My phone rang, I hope Leon calls me.
Zean is calling....
Not Leon. Sucks, why should she call me??? I want Leon to call me, not Zean!
I put my phone back on the bar table. I pulled my hair back and drank alcohol. I don't know what makes me this frustrated? My sense of longing? Or my guilt for him?
Trring....🎶
Zean is calling...
Hah, why does he keep calling me?!
“Hallo?” I finally picked up the call.
“Kanna? Where are you? Papa your mama is worried, they're looking for you.”
“I'm not a kid anymore, Zean, just they don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself,” I replied.
“You drunk?! Why does your voice sound like a drunk?”
“I only drink a little, kok.”
“Kanna??!! Where are you now? I'm going there!”
“I'm in Crown Lounge near campus.” I replied.
“Wait for me! Don't go!”
“Iya, yes, bring!!”
I put my phone back. I laughed, why should my parents care about me? Ck, even though they have a big share in the distress of my heart at this time. They're the ones who made me have to work so hard that I lied to Leon.
“I miss you, Leon!! Why did you leave me?! I'm not serious about breaking up with you.” I laughed and cried, like a madman.
“Kanna!!” call Zean, his face looks worried.
“Hallo, Zean! You want a drink?” I gave her my glass.
“Come, Home! It's night.”
“N't want to go home!! If I go home I will miss him,” I said, I refused Zean's invitation.
“You're drunk, Kanna! Let's go home!”
“What's wrong with you, Kanna? What happened?”
“I broke up, Zean! BREAK UP!! You must have loved hearing that?” I patted Zean's cheek slowly.
“You're drunk! Let's go home!” Zean carried me on his shoulders, forcing me to go home!
“Zean let me go!!” I thrashed.
“Silence, Kanna! Everyone saw you.”
“Biarin! Anyway I don't want to go home.” I'm banging Zean's back.
“Alright, we're going to my house. There's an empty room, take a break. As soon as your hangover subsides I'll drive you home!” zean Proposal. Finally I complied because my consciousness began to disappear along with the speed of the car.
•
•
•
We arrive at a luxurious penthouse, Zean resting me on a comfortable bed. I puffed my arm, pulled his neck, made Zean tumble over my body.
“Why did you say I betrayed, huh?”
“Kanna?” Zean looked confused.
“Why???” my yelling.
“Aware, Kanna.”
“Well, if that's what you want!! I will betray you!!”
I landed my kiss on Zean's lips. Lubricating him greedily, I even tore apart the shirt he was wearing. I don't know what's got into me right now. The last thing I remember, Zean also asked me back.
“You asked, Kanna! Don't blame me.” whispered Zean before we banded together that night.
“Arg..,” rancauku.
•
•
•
I woke up, Zean was still fast asleep beside me. I was shocked to wake up without a thread. And my intimate partner is not Leon, but Zean! How'this? What have I done to him?
Duh, my head is so dizzy!! I'm back to remembering what happened tonight. I curse myself, how stupid am I?! Shit!! Kanna you're fucking shit! Arg, no, it's fucking alcohol!
“Zean...,” I wiggled her body slowly.
“Heeem..?” Zean was just puffing, it seemed that he had fallen asleep very soundly.
“Zean!! Build.”
“Ah, you're awake, Kanna.” Zean got up and stretched his body.
“Sorry, Zean. Am I forcing myself on you?!”
Zean just kept quiet, he hugged me. He holds me with his firm hands. Her lips kissed my forehead.
“Forget him, Kanna. Just accept my love.” Zean stroked my face, his hands warm.
Why did Zean know I just broke up? Did I mention Leon when I made love to Zean? If so how bad I am to Zean! Calling another man's name while making love to him.
“Zean, I love him.”
“I'll give you much greater love, Kanna.” Zean pressed my shoulder.
“Zean..,”
“Please, Kanna. Don't reject me.” Zean again landed his kiss on my lips. Pulling it in, the rhythm is slow yet exciting. I felt weird all of a sudden, but it felt pretty sweet for a long time.
“Forget him, Kanna. I'll help you forget it.” Zean stroked my face, combing my hair behind my ears. He kissed me again.
— MUSE S3 —
•••
4 Years later...
I don't think time is rolling so fast. I have been separated from Leon for 4 years. I've been dating Zean for 4 years. Zean is now my fiancee. Even though I haven't been able to fill all the rooms in my heart for her, I'm still learning to love her.
Zean is a type of perfectionist man. Everything he does should look perfect. He even makes my appearance always perfect. Zean sent me many gifts, from clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry, to cars.
All the luxuries that I am currently receiving make me even more famous. The more content and feeds I can show to my followers. I have become more accepting of endorsements and offers as a model.
But there is a price I still have to pay. My busyness makes me unable to exercise regularly, eat regularly, and sleep regularly. I became a bulimic again. I regurgitated all the food I ate to keep looking slim.
After 4 years apart, I met Leon this afternoon at Julius' art gallery. He gave me a kiss mark on my body. I hate him for doing all that to me. But there is no denying that there is such a deep longing when he touches my body.
I sat up at the window sill. Look at the window in the house next door. I used to talk to Leon all the time when there was a problem. We held out our hands and joined together. Say good night with a sweet smile.
As Leon stretched out his hand there was a feeling that was so warm and cozy. He drives away all problems for the sake of the problems that are crimping my heart. Give new strength.
I stretched out my hand again at this moment, yet I only caught empty air. No more hands to welcome me, no more warmth and comfort of heart. I don't feel my tears, my heart hurts.
“Leon....,” unknowingly it was the name I called at the moment, not Zean.
“I miss you, Leon. If only you knew how guilty I feel about you.”
I pulled back my hand, laying on the bed. Stare blankly at the ceiling until finally falling asleep.
•
•
•
“Argh...,” rancauku, why does it feel wet and weird? I'm horny in the middle of my sleep? How could?
My eyes immediately opened wide when I felt that something was overlapping my body. The wetness of her lips that obscured my neck and chest shocked me. I wanted to scream but he closed my mouth with his hand.
“Hallo, Kanna. You haven't changed, stay as sensitive as ever.”
“Leon??” My heart beats unbecoming. Seeing Leon right above my body at the moment scared me.
“You're still the same banged-up, Kanna. You never close your window! Didn't know it was dangerous?” Leon grinned.
“What do you want?” I tried to wriggle from his grip, but Leon's hand locked my hand over his head.
“You should know. I just want to take off the miss with you.”
“No, Leon, no!”
“Do not shout, Kanna!! Papa Mama you can hear our romance?!” Leon again silenced my mouth, stuffing it with his lips and tongue. It is so deep and passionate. I struggled against him, but in vain, Leon's energy was enormous.
“Thank you, Kanna! You're beautiful when you're messing up!!”
“No!! Nay!! Leon!! Arg..,”
— MUSE S3 —
What happens next?
Next episode, yes...
MUSE!!
YUK SUPPORTS KANNA'S LOVE AND HER LIFE STORY.
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Dee & __________________________________________________