MUSE
S2 ~ AROMA
S2 MUSE
EPISODE 88
S2 \~ SCENTS
\~ Memories of her fascinating self. So beautiful in every stroke of my hand \~
•••
I woke up with a lot of pain. Dizziness and feeling so heavy. It's hard to move my fingers, it feels stiff. I rolled my eyes slowly to look around, the bright lights, the slowly swaying infusion bag, as well as Angga who looked at me expectantly.
What exactly happened?
Where am I?
“Hospital, La.” Angga kissed my wrist.
I try to remember what happened? Why am I in the hospital? But not the answer I got, even the pain that shook my head. It hurts so much, my head seems to want to break.
“Kalila, don't force yourself!” Angga helped me to get back to rest.
I thought I was back and the doctor gave me medicine to get back to rest.
•
•
•
I've been in the hospital for almost a month. Angga, Melody, and Caca took turns looking after me. I still know Melody, because she's my classmate, but I don't know Caca, they say she's a part-time employee at my cafe. I'm surprised, do I really have a cafe?? Even I'm the baristas?
They try to get me to remember things that have happened lately, but I still can't remember them.
“Yeah, Boss. You don't remember Caca?!” protesting Caca, the tomboyish girl looked with pity at me while snorting bitterly.
“Sorry, Ca,” I replied.
“Nothing, Boss. The important thing is that boss cepetan healed, later we make new memories together, yes.” Caca grabbed my hand and cried.
I cried when I saw him cry. What did I forget that made them all so sad?
I'm getting confused, and what makes me most confused is that my Papa and Mama were gone two years ago. The horn was too confused, my throat seemed choked, no sound could come out of my mouth. I don't know how to respond to this news. Words can't cry anymore.
— MUSE S2 —
•••
After receiving treatment and physiotherapy, I was finally allowed to go home. Angga drove me home to an apartment. They said this is my place. Actually Melody offered to stay with him for a while, but I refused. I'm still awkward about all this. Last I remember, I was hostile to him, now he's my best friend. Kan awkward.
I watched the room, there was only a mattress, a closet, a nightstand, a pantry, a bathroom and a balcony. Not too big but looks comfortable. I painted the walls sky blue, and pink. It is also dominated by white and pink. Really like me, I do like the soft pastel colors.
“Rest, La! You must be tired.” Angga told me to rest.
“Good, Ngga.”
“I'll be back at the cafe. Help Caca and Melody. If you need something phone, yes.” Angga stroked my hair.
“Iya, ready.” I smiled as widely as possible. Trying to make him stop worrying about my situation.
“Don't forget to eat and drink the medicine.” Angga back chatty.
“Iya, yes, it's there, afternoon hunt!” expirku.
“I go, yes, La.” Angga kissed the tip of my head, then left the room. He smiled before closing the door, I replied with a sweet smile.
I went from the bed to the balcony, trying to enjoy the fresh air. Being locked up for a long time in the hospital made me feel bored. I glanced around, there were a few pots of cactus plants that were slightly unkempt. I hurriedly cleaned up the moss and wild plants growing around the cactus.
“You must have missed me, huh? Sorry, yes, left you for so long.” I monologue with a cactus pot.
After tidying up the cactus I turned to the right. The same row of balconies lined with a monotonous perspective of space. But my view leads to the balcony right on my right.
Tears dripped from the corner of my eye. I held the crystal clear grain of water in astonishment.
Why am I crying??
I wiped my tears and went back into the room. Take a glass of water and drink it quickly. My heart was beating violently and irregularly.
Why does it feel so painful???
What happened to the balcony? Is that just a neighbor's balcony? And it even seems empty because it's uninhabited.
Why won't the pain go away?!
I'm tightening my shirt in front of my chest. Resisting the pain that is so painful.
— MUSE S2 —
•••
“Kalila? You why?” Angga helped me get up from the bottom side of the bed. For hours I sat under the bed and cried. I don't really know what I'm crying about myself. Why is my chest so tight and sore?
“I feel stuffy and claustrophobic.” I got up and hugged Angga.
“Why? Are you bored?” Angga stroked my back gently.
“Yes, maybe I'm bored.”
“You want to go out and draw? Usually you always draw when you are bored?” Angga gave me an idea.
“Bby.” I smiled at Angga. I love drawing, and maybe drawing will make me feel better.
“Come, grab your gear. We go to the city park.”
“Iya,” I quickly tidy up all the drawing equipment. Sketchbooks, pencils, erasers, and boards for drawing pads.
“Ready, bae?!”
“Ready, Go!!!”
We went around enjoying the view of the city at night on a motorcycle. Expel fatigue and look for a good and quiet picture spot.
“Until!!” exclaim Angga happy.
“Let’s go!!” I am also not less happy.
We join hands to the park bench. Because it was already night the city park looked quieter, only a few young couples left and also street vendors. The children's playground also looks lonely. There are only a few children who still play sand and swing.
Garden lights glow pretty, dominated by yellow, but there are also some that change color. The small lights are deliberately wrapped around the tree trunks to make them look beautiful.
“You corn boiled?” hagga.
“Ngak, satiated. I want a warm drink, Ngga,” I replied while holding my stomach.
“Oke.”
I looked at the back of Angga who was away to buy a warm drink. I am grateful to still have Angga by my side right now. At least I'm not alone right now. I have a lover to share my taste and story.
I opened the picture book and started looking for the image object. What do you want a picture of? What little kid plays in the sand? Or a couple who are blending flavors? Or some elderly who are gathering to share a story?
“Difficult choice,” mumbled.
I finally decided to draw a little boy playing in a sandbox. Make the palace from soft sand with a bucket of prints.
Scratches after scratches I cut on the drawing paper, but the results are not good.
Why can't I draw?
I again tried to etch pencil strokes on drawing paper, but the results remained the same. Have I lost my drawing skills? Can't I do beautiful art anymore?
I tried again and again.
Go on and on.
Scratches by scratch, smooth and getting coarser.
Still no perfect scratch, my art is dead, still a blank page with a bad streak.
Wh why?
What the hell's going on?
You’re my MUSE, — Yes, I’m your MUSE, baby.
A sentence kept ringing in my mind.
Who her??
Whoareyou?
I’m your MUSE, baby.
“NO!!” my yelling. I clutched my head which continued to throb pain.
“KALILA?!” Angga immediately ran up to me.
“Angga, my head hurts, it hurts so!!”
“Let's go home!! You need rest!”
I thought, ignoring that voice. Back around my hand at Angga's waist. We drove and went home. On the way I hope this whack of dizziness can soon disappear.
— MUSE S2 —
•••
A month later, I went back to my usual routine. Working at the cafe, making coffee, joking laughs with Melody and also Caca.
I try to feel happy now. Although I forgot the last two years, but at least I hope to carve out the next years with a happy feeling.
“Angga, thanks, yes,” I kissed Angga's forehead so down from his motor.
“Oke, comein. I'm home, yes.” Angga replied with a light kiss on my lips.
•
•
•
I went back into my room. Put my body on a comfortable bed.
“Ah, I really can't draw anymore,” my murmur while looking towards the ceiling of the room.
I tried it many times, scraping all the sheets in the picture book, but the result was the same, rough strokes that had no beautiful meaning and value.
I just made a blank page that had no art value at all.
Why me?
I stopped thinking about my problem and tried to close my eyes. I still remember how much I remembered that sentence.
I’m your MUSE, baby.
“Who are you?” I thought, I tried to remember it, racking my brain to repeat word for word in that sentence until it finally closed and I fell asleep.
— MUSE S2 —
•••
This morning I woke up lethargic, I had not slept well for days. How can I forget that sentence?
I took a shower and started getting ready for work, ate my breakfast and also drank a cup of warm water.
“Covered,” I said as I watched the dark sky envelop the sky.
I hurried to get the bag and also the hoodie jacket. Wear it while walking to the cafe. Cold wind began to feel, a sign of rain will soon fall.
JRESS....
Sure enough, just stepping a few steps the rain had descended profusely. The smell of dry soil mixed with rainwater again filled my sense of smell.
The smell of rain is like magic that can tickle all the good memories to come back to fill your mind.
I stopped my steps in the rain. My heart is back in pain. Tears trickled back then disappeared swept away by the swift rain. I knelt down in the middle of the road, for some reason I felt so lost. I feel so empty.
Oh, Rain try to remind me what I've forgotten?
What have I forgotten all this time that it feels so painful?
My tears and tears were wasted, it felt too stifling. It was too painful, like something so deep. Butwhat??? What????!!
“ARG....!!!” I screamed, shouting all the pain. I hope it will be a little less. But only my voice was swallowed by the rush of rain, the pain did not go away.
“Kalila!!” the sound of Angga's screams made me realize.
“Angga?!”
“Why? What happened?”
“I don't know, Ngga. I just feel my heart hurt so much.” I received Angga's embrace, crying louder in his arms.
“Kalila.”
“What happened these two years, Ngga? What have I forgotten?”
“Why do you want to remember it so much, La?”
“Because it feels so painful.”
“If it hurts forget it.” whispered Angga.
“But why, Ngga? Why is it so sick?”
“Maybe you're sick thinking about your parents, Kalila.”
“Really?” I'm trying to convince you that Angga's words are true.
“Yes, you must have been just shocked at losing them.” Angga hugged me back.
“Maybe also.”
“Come, home, La. You don't have to go to the cafe. Just rest.”
“Iya.” I looked up as an answer.
•
•
•
“Mandi and rest!” Angga stroked my face.
“Yes, you get wet too, go home and change your clothes, Ngga!” my door.
“Oke.” Angga came back to smear my lips before we parted.
“Bye, Ngga.”
“Bye, Kalila.”
I closed the door and cleaned myself. Removes all the sticky feeling that arises due to rain water. I glanced down, looking at the traces of the opration stitches on my stomach. Se stitches are almost 20 cm long it still looks reddened. It still feels a little bit rustling when I touch it.
“How can I get this wound?” I thought in my heart.
After lingering in the warm water I pulled out the bathrobe and stepped out. I turn on the music from the bluetooth speaker, listen to the song while brewing warm tea.
I enjoy the rhythm of music while humming lightly, occasionally I sip jasmine tea. Enjoy the smell that makes my heart calm.
Picture perfect, you don't need no filter
Gorgeous, make 'em drop dead, you a killer
Shower you with all my attention
Yeah, these are my only intentions
Stay in the kitchen, cooking up, cut your own bread 🎶
Heart full of equity, you're an asset
Make sure that you don't need no mentions
Yeah, these are my only intentions
Shout out to your mom and dad for making you 🎶
Standing ovation, they did a great job raising you 🎶
When I create, you're my muse
The kind of smile that makes the news 🎶
—Justin Bieber Intents—
What's with this song? I put the tea cup down and sat on the edge of the bed. Look in the direction of the voice, focusing on listening to it. I feel like I have good memories when this song is heard.
I sat for a long time pensively. Play that song over and over again. Trying to remember the beautiful things I've experienced while listening to them.
The empty hole clearly filled my heart. Something was missing and something felt missing.
The rain still falls. And I started to get cold because I only wore a bathrobe as my body protector. I unpacked the contents of the closet, looking for clothes that were comfortable for me to rest.
Many Papa shirts are neatly arranged in the wardrobe. But there is a shirt that folds neatly on the top pile. That white shirt looks bigger than Papa's.
I picked it up, somehow I feel like I really want to put that shirt on right now. I immediately rushed to wear it, the size was too big for me. My hand sank in his long arm. I kissed the end of the long sleeve of that shirt.
The faint scent of expensive perfume that did not disappear even though it had been washed away. The smell of the sea mixed with the freshness of citrus. L like it. Sweet and warm body aroma.
My tears came back, as incision after incision again felt scratching my heart with excruciating pain.
I fell down, heard the song again. The sound of singing mixed with the gurgling rainwater dripping on the balcony floor.
I crouched my body on the cold floor. Crying while hugging the knees. I wish the pain would be a little less. I continued to clasp his shirt, enjoying again the scent of his body that was attached so tightly.
How painful my heart is when all those memories come back to fill my mind. Memories are so beautiful and painful.
Memories of his sweet smile.
Memories of warm embrace and beautiful unity.
Memories of the magnitude of my love for her.
Memories of her fascinating self. It's so beautiful in every scratch of my hand.
In distress I spoke his name again.
“ARVIN!!”
— MUSE S2 —
MUSE!!
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