MUSE
S2 ~ AS GLIMMER OF HOPE

S2 MUSE

EPISODE 80'S

S2 \~ SECERCA HOPE

\~ I lost my mind because Kalila rejected me. He no longer has any feelings for me. And I languish, I need it just as much as I need air to live.\~

•••

Time seemed to have arranged your departure from my side.

Why did I leave you?

I regret leaving you more than a thousand miles away. Through the blue sky and the vast ocean. Leaving you alone, lamenting the cold rain and the darkness of life.

I'm sorry, Kalila.

If I could just leave it to the wind that blows. But still you never heard the sound of the wind carrying my regret message to you.

I wake up every night to miss you. I've dreamedyou.

I don't know if we can meet again in the future. But I always hope you forgive me, give me another chance.

I love you and will love you forever. Even if I have to wait for you to die, I will.

Yet.z...,

When I opened my eyes, I saw you with him. Dancing in the rain. The rain was a witness to my regret.

Why did I leave you?

Day after day has passed, closing the beautiful flower of love that once bloomed in your heart, until it finally became withered and intangible.

— MUSE S2 —

•••

I couldn't stand to see her so beautiful in a black dress. Unfortunately, she's not wearing that pretty shirt for me. But for Mr. Arvin.

Kalila has been looking more beautiful lately. More beautiful than when she was dating me. Her smile that was so sweet, her face increasingly looked mature and graceful. His carefree carry had returned, he looked so happy.

L like it. Yeah, I like everything. Even the way I walk I like it.

But then again, she's not dressing up for me....

I couldn't help but steal a glance at Kalila while in the car. She's so charming, so beautiful, and I want her so much.

I'm sure he still has feelings for me. Just a little, I just need a little.

Can't it be that not all the good memories we've been through together just pass by?

•

•

•

“Calill I love you.” I finally decided to go back after him. Reveal my heart to him. Letting my feelings spill out.

Without asking her permission I kissed her lips. Kalila refused, and I kept pushing her. Clutching her arm tightly and forcing her to accept my lips.

Why did he refuse?

Did he always ask me for that kiss? Why does she hate my kiss so much?

I lost my mind because Kalila rejected me. He no longer has any feelings for me. And I languish, I need it just as much as I need air to survive.

The obsession? Maybe yes, maybe not.

I'm sure I can't live without him. I don't want to wake up at night to regret his passing again. He's too precious to me.

Too precious...

•

•

•

“Bags!!!”

Arvin threw his fist at me. I did not deny her anger, because I was so angry to know Kalila preferred her.

We hit him, I lost to him. The power is so great. I wanted to try, get back up to attack him. Even though my head feels so dizzy and my heart is pounding, but I can't give up right now.

Arvin hit me again, giving me an attack all over my body as well as my face. Kalila shouted for us to stop, but the sound of rain silenced the voice and sobbed Kalila's cries.

Arvin's eyes are full of hate. He wanted to kill me right then and there. Kalila tried to stop him and throw me out. At first I refused, I can still fight this fight, I have not given up.

But seeing the fear and tears that flowed hard on the two eyes of Kalila made me give up. At least I don't want to hurt her by watching us fight boxing.

•

•

•

I was driving my car on my way home. I feel like I'm losing, I'm a loser! I can't beat Arvin and take Kalila.

Fresh blood flowed from my nose, the corners of my lips, and also my temples. All my body aches and pains. But the most painful thing is my heart. It felt so painful that it made my stomach nauseous.

“BR***SEK!!!!” I cursed at myself, I was stupid, I was full of flaws!! I can't even beat Arvin and make Kalila mine again.

— MUSE S2 —

•••

That morning I woke up with a bottle of alcohol strewn under the bed. I don't know how much I spent last night.

My head feels so heavy and dizzy. Pheasant taste mixed with bruise and stiff. I'm still wearing a shirt that's covered in blood. It's actually not too red because the rain has washed it.

Call, Klang!!

“Ah, dammit. Why won't the dizziness disappear?!” mumamku.

I walked towards the pantry, poured a glass of cold water and drank it immediately. Spent it quickly until the water also overflowed my body.

I walked back to look at myself in the mirror in the bathroom.

“Suffering once myself,” thought I.

I took off all my clothes and hurried to clean up. I removed all the dried up blood. Sometimes I grimace because the bruises were unintentionally touched.

“Maybe I should go to the doctor,” once again I murmured.

I dried myself and applied ointment to the bruises and red medicine to the open wounds. Then I threw away my dirty clothes because of my own blood.

I thought back to Kalila. What happened to him when I got home? Is she okay?

“Should I go back to see him?”

I pulled out the car keys and rushed to Kalila's apartment.

•

•

•

I waited in front of his apartment. I'm still not sure if what I'm doing is the right thing? I convinced myself that I was just trying to wait and find out. Was he okay last night?

The siren sounds loud.

An ambulance came with a doctor. Several male nurses rolled out push beds and rushed into the apartment.

Soon they were again spotted, running small with a patient on a push-bed.

“Mr Arvin?!”

Arvin is the guy they brought in. Looks like he fainted. I don't know why myself?

I'm more worried about Kalila. I rushed down the car and looked towards the fifth floor. Kaila was standing on the balcony. Looking at the departure of Arvin. I couldn't see his facial expression because we were too far away.

But one thing is certain, I have to catch up with him.

I ran in, pushed the number five button a few times. The elevator went up, I tried to calm down and catch my breath.

“C’on.., C’on..,”.

I was just wondering what Kalila's room number was. I knocked on one-by-one rooms that were in the same corridor. Several times I got the wrong address, until I finally stood right in front of him.

“Kalila?!” I was shocked to see her full of bruises.

“You want to come here, Ngga?”

“I worry about you,” I answer honestly.

Baji** that?! What did he do to Calila? Why is his face full of bruises. Goddamnit!! It's all my fault, if I had kept myself from kissing her, Arvin wouldn't have hit her.

“I'm fine.” he said.

“You lied!! You don't look all right,” I said a little loudly.

“You're right, I'm not okay.” Kalila crying. My heart hurt watching him cry.

“I'm sorry Kalila. If only I hadn't kissed you last night.” I hugged her.

Kalila sobbed in my arms.

I took him into the room. Helping her sit down, I crouched down in front of her. Trying to convey calm.

“If you want to cry, just cry, La. I'll accompany you to cry.”

“Hiks..., hiks...,” Kalila's tears fell unstoppably. It sounds so heartbreaking to me.

I'm angry, I want to feel like I hit myself. Because of my emotions, because of my love I hurt her.

“Kalila, look at me!!” I touched her face to look at me.

“Hiks..,”

“You'll be fine without him, Kalila.”

“No, Ngga. I'm devastated without it.” Kalila crying. He didn't look this sick when he parted with me.

So right, his love for Arvin outweighed his love for me first.

“Sstt..., I'll help you forget it,” I hugged him tightly.

I closed my eyes to enjoy her sweet and gentle scent.

My mistake was that I had kissed and made her suffer like this.

My truth is I had a little chance, a little hope of getting it back.

“You'll be fine, La,”

Just a light pat and also a warm hug that I can give at this moment. But trust me, Kalila, I can give you the same amount of love that Arvin loves you.

— MUSE S2 —

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