MUSE
S2 ~ REMOVE
S2 MUSE
EPISODE 81
S2 \~ REMOVE
\~ With both hands I tore the picture. The picture of her, I want to go back to erasing all my memories of her. About love and feelings, about love and hope.\~
•••
I blinked my eyes a few times before I was fully conscious. Looking up at the ceiling of the room I knew. I think I went back to my own room.
I tried to move my hand, but someone held it tightly. I glanced to the side and saw Arvin asleep beside me.
It comes to my mind how harsh Arvin's treatment was tonight. I didn't expect Arvin to be so cruel! Before, he was so soft. Ah, right said Melody and Caca, I only knew her for a few days. Good and bad, I still don't know.
I was so scared last night, my heart broke, my trust in him just faded away. I hate him, I hate myself because I love him too much.
The depth of my love makes the wounds he inclines feel deeper.
I pulled my hand slowly and tried to get up. I can feel numbness and pain all over my body. My head feels dizzy and light-headed. Ternggorokkupun dry.
I slowly stepped into the pantry, drinking a glass of water to wet my throat. The fresh water makes me feel so much better right now. At least I have to put my heart and feelings together to be ready to deal with it later.
I'm back on my way to bed. Lean on the headboard, wait for the morning, until the sun comes up. But the rain still fell and the dark cloud covered the sun. Only a tinge of golden light entered through the glass on the sliding door.
Arvin woke up when the sun started to rise. He took my hand again, sitting beside my bed. I'm afraid to see it. I clenched my lips to remove fear, anger, and tears.
“I'm sorry, baby!” that's what Arvin said over and over again.
I didn't answer. I was silent. There are no words I want to say.
I could see his eyes full of regret and worry. I can't deny that I'm sorry about the situation we're in right now.
“I'm sick Kalila!! My soul hurts.”
Arvin finally said honestly, he opened up all his shame in the past. Told me that I was the cure, the antidote to his broken soul. I was the only woman he never tortured. But didn't he torture me yesterday?! Then I'm not the cure. I am not the woman he loves.
“If your love won't hurt me,” I replied to her.
“Kalila!! Baby, please!” Arvin kept begging me, but I didn't heed it. I still chose to break up with him.
The magnitude of my love made my heart suffer so much.
The amount of hope I put on our relationship disappointed me.
The magnitude of my love for her made my heart cry out in pain.
Wh why? If love is not going to be?! If it's love, it will protect me, not torture me like this!!
I was angry with him, but chose to forgive.
I hated his behavior, but chose to forgive.
I loved Arvin, but eventually decided to split up.
I kissed her lips as a sign of separation. I knew after this I would definitely go back to languishing, maybe even missing her every night. But let my decision be the best decision for both of us.
At least we won't hurt each other again...
Shortly after a fight filled with tears I saw Arvin collapse. His body turned to the right and was unconscious.
“Arvin!!” I screamed when Arvin fell to the floor.
Right too, only then did I realize, we weren't even that close.
I finally decided to call an ambulance. Ask for help from the nearest hospital. Hope Arvin can get first aid soon.
“Arvin survive!!” I shook her body, my tears came back.
Why are we being like this?
“Don't die, Brother!! If you die you will regret it!!!” I threatened him when I knew he couldn't hear it.
It didn't take long for the ambulance to reach the apartment. They checked Arvin's condition and immediately fled to the hospital. His body temperature was close to 40 degrees and his blood pressure was extremely low.
“Hiks,” cries, that's all I can do.
“Name as Arvin, please contact Maxsoft. They know his identity.”
“You're not coming Miss?”
“No, he's just my neighbor.” I lied, my heart ached when I said it. But I had no choice, I could no longer be with him. I just don't want to give him false hope. We have split up and that is the best.
I ran to the balcony to see the convoy of nurses who took her away. In my heart I hope he will be okay.
“I'm sorry, Arvin. Maybe true, our world is different.”
I looked at the picture of him that was perfectly drawn. I put it on the table yesterday. He's so handsome and charming. He is a devil who is an angel.
I raised the picture of him. My tears came down and wet the drawing paper. It causes round stains in some places.
So, why did I manage to draw it?
Why do I remember his face?
With both hands I tore the picture. The picture of her, I want to go back to erasing all my memories of her. About love and feelings, about love and hope. I want to remove it!!! Everybody!!!
I sat on the cold floor. Crying my love story that didn't last long. Weep for my love story that has no happy ending.
I squeezed out all the pieces of paper and dumped them in the trash.
— MUSE S2 —
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