MUSE
S3 ~ DEPRESSION
THE MUSE S3
EPISODE 129
S3 \~ DEPRESSION
\~ My tears break. I still keep thrashing in his arms. Tears, sweat, and also blood that kept dripping from the infusion pit mixed into one. Welcoming a feeling called regret.\~
______________
I took my phone, looked into the photo gallery. Saw some photos of my dead little daughter's USG. I stroked her slowly. Apologizing is meaningless. I've lost her.
I wish I could carry it. I wish I could play with him. I'm even willing to lose anything that's not her. But my stupidity once again brought something precious away leaving me.
“Sorry Mama, yes, son,” My tears broke again.
I won't let anyone see me now. Including my own family. I want to reflect on my mistakes, punish myself.
The more days of solitude I get sad. I don't want to eat, I don't want to drink, I don't want to do anything but cry and sleep. I feel like my life is meaningless anymore.
Leon and Zean kept fighting. They even fought over our son. No one wants to give up. Even the hospital reported both to the authorities.
Shortly after the departure of the two of them, a beautiful woman named Lova came to my room. Though I had warned the sisters not to let anyone in to see me. Maybe he didn't even permit the router to come here. Or maybe it wasn't me he was looking for.
Sure enough, he claimed to be Leon's fiancee. He has no intention of visiting me. He's just looking for his fiancee. He said it was all my fault. Leon's attitude, Zean's attitude, my loss, it's all because of me.
I cried...,
But he's right..,., though...,
All my fault....,
When I can abandon my obsession I don't.
When I can leave popularity and follow Leon's word I don't.
When I could have defended Leon more than my ego I didn't.
When I could tell Leon that the baby I'm carrying my son I didn't do it.
When I can tell Zean the truth that I'm pregnant I don't say it.
All the roots of this problem are in me who is too weak. I plan, I can't be grateful for everything I have. I was just overwhelmed with happiness.
God, everything has happened.
There is nothing I can do but cry. I'm so weak, I'm so stupid, and I'm so naive.
I'm greedy for wanting everything....
And now..,., though...,
I lost everything....
— MUSE S3 —
•••
I walked slowly down the quiet corridor to the hospital roof. Throughout the journey I kept muttering.
“Im sorry Mom, Son.”
“No...! Hahaha, Mama doesn't want to lose you.”
“Go!! Don't take my son!!”
Sometimes I laugh, then cry, sometimes sad, and laugh blankly, sometimes looking at my opponents with hate. I started to go crazy, I started to get depressed, as if I was hallucinating and having a black shadow take my son away, taking my baby away. Take it from me.
Every night I have nightmares. Every night I hear the cry of a baby in my mind. Every night I kept seeing Leon and Zean's faces blaming me for our daughter's death.
I can't take it anymore. I'm gonna die tonight and take back my baby. I'll be united with him. I'm going to meet my little daughter again. I'll apologize to him. The carelessness and stupidity of his mother is unforgivable. But there is no harm in trying, there is no harm in accompanying him.
KRRIIETT..!
The sound of the iron door sounded loud.
The night wind was blowing very hard. Cold hit the face, making the skin stiff. I kept walking to the end of the barrier. Looking down, it was very high. Suitable to leave, fit to end my sickening life.
“Wait Mama, baby!” muttered.
I've climbed above the barrier. Closing my eyes and setting my heart to jump. Suddenly, a hand held my hand.
“Do not, Kanna!”
“Why did you ban me?” tanyaku.
“Are you not happy that I'm gone? I'm going to see my daughter. So release!!” I continued, I pulled my hand, but the grunts were tighter and the power stronger.
“Do not be stupid! Don't leave me!”
“I want to be with him. I want to apologize to him.”
“Kanna!!” her hand pulled my hand until I fell in her arms.
“Why???!!!” yell at him.
Cry broke. I still keep thrashing in his arms. Tears, sweat, and also blood that kept dripping from the infusion pit mixed into one. Welcoming a feeling called regret.
“Because I can't live without you, Kanna.” her hand keeps stroking my hair, trying to calm me down.
— MUSE S3 —
Who's who??
Who saved Kanna?
Zean or Leon?
Happy Eid al-Fitr to those who celebrate.
Sorry inner birth.
For much love for one another
❤️❤️❤️
Lap yu gaes..
so much's..