MUSE
S3 - POOR ME

THE MUSE S3

EPISODE 125

S3 - POOR ME

\~ When I contemplate all this, pull the tangled thread to get back straight. It turned out that all this happened just because of my ego, because of my obsession, because of my thirst for praise and recognition.\~

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“KANNA!! ARKANNA!!” The two men on the right and left side called my name.

“RETURN!! He's my son!” shouting Leon.

“You lied to me Kanna??? He's not our son...?!” Zean screamed, his face smug and disappointed.

“HOWEVER YOU ARE KANNA!!” shout Zean.

“K RETURN HIM!!” shouting Leon.

SREEETTT...!

My eyes are wide. I woke up and the nightmare came back to me. Cold sweat flooded all over my body. I kept dreaming of Leon asking this kid, and Zean being disappointed in me.

Hoek!! Hoek!!

I threw up again, spewed out the food I ate last night. Food flooded the floor. It causes an unpleasant smell.

“Kanna?!” Zean woke up, he stroked my back. I screamed because I was scared.

“Why are you this scared, Kanna? You okay?” Zean frowned.

“Sorry I was just shocked. I'll clean up my vomit.” I tried to get up, but Zean held my hand.

“Let me, you just sit, danger of slipping.”

“But, Zean...” there's no way I'm telling Zean to clean up the dirty stuff that came out of my body.

“It’s OK, Kanna. Our baby caused all this little mess. At least I can take care of the little one by taking care of you.” Zean's words make me cry. Yes, Lord Zean, why are you so kind to me?? I have deceived you, this is not our son.

Zean got up and brought clean-up gear. We just moved into a new house, so we don't have ART yet. We did everything together, even though sometimes Mama came and helped me clean the house.

“Tomorrow we find ART, yes, Zean.”

“I already told Orela to look for ART. But it's hard to be around like this. They prefer working in factory or cleaning service.” Zean deftly cleared everything up.

“I help, Zean.” I got out of bed and was about to wipe, but Zean glared at me instead.

“Said don't!” Zean's angry.

“But..,”

“Kanna!! You don't have to talk to me! Now I'm your husband.” Zean forbade me, he went back to solving everything.

Now the floor is clean and Zean has returned from the bathroom. He broke down and tried to go back to sleep. Zean kissed my stomach before closing his eyes.

“Good night champ!” said Zean.

“You know he's a boy?” kikihku.

“No problems. Boy or girl, my son must be a great hero. Now many movies about super woman also you know?!” Zean answered in his sleep.

“Hahaha, you're right.” I slumped down and tried to fall back asleep.

— MUSE S3 —

•••

I looked at the rainwater from the park bench. I've been daydreaming about Leon a lot lately. Maybe the baby's birth, maybe he misses the presence of his original Papa. Only I know that the child I bear is Leon's. Neither Papa nor Mamakupun knew. Even Leon never told me. It's free to tell her because she'll definitely think I'm lying. To her I was a cheap woman who often slept with Zean because of money and possessions.

My gestational age is now entering the fifth month, which means it has been almost 6 months. You guys found out I lied to Zean. I made my pregnancy 3 weeks younger than my actual age.

I haven't had nausea and vomiting since the first semester. My appetite keeps soaring drastically. I was always hungry, even in the middle of the night I was hungry. Mama brought me a lot of food and also energy-boosting soup. Not to mention the medicines and vitamins from the doctors that made my baby healthier.

I originally wanted to abort this child after marrying Zean. I hate it because nausea and vomiting continue to hit during pregnancy young. I can't stand the torture.

But the moon changed and this child grew stronger in my womb.I saw the development of the USG monitor screen, this made my motherly soul began to grow. I started to love him. Although there was never any love when Leon made it, he was the seed of my love for Leon, and I will take care of him.

With my appetite soaring, soaring my weight. You guys must know that my weight is hard to control. I've climbed almost 17 kilos in this second semester. My body was starting to grow, fat deposits were bulging everywhere. I'm also getting worse due to hormonal changes. My skin became dull and acne-prone, dry and also pale. I am lazy to dress up and prefer to spend time with rest. My back was sore, and my legs were swollen, so I just stayed indoors.

Zean is now a little cold towards me. Maybe because I never hanged her invitation to have sex. I don't want Zean to hurt this kid, nor do I want Zean to see my body that's getting shapeless. My fat body makes it hard to move, let alone play love, squatting to urinate is getting harder.

I did not respond at all to Zean's increasingly cold attitude. For me right now, it's just me and my baby. I would rather stroke my stomach, talk to her, and read fairy tales than serve my husband, fulfilling my duty as a wife.

“Hallo, champ! What did your mom eat today? She's getting fat.” Zean, she's talking to my stomach. My ears are hot to hear, so what if I'm fat?

“What do you mean, Zean?” I raised my voice.

“See you, Kanna. You're getting fatter the day.” Zean answered my words. His face seemed dissatisfied with the way I spoke.

“I'm like this because I'm pregnant,” I said defend myself.

“Really!! You changed because you were pregnant. I don't matter! But at least fix yourself! Put on some nice clothes, your comb and your hairdo! Wear safe skin care! Welcome your husband home with a beautiful and radiant face! Not a neglig* rompeng and a tangled face like this!” Zean showered me with various wejangan.

(|* nightgown model skirt.)

It's true that I've never taken care of myself at this time, it seems to have become a baby, I never like to dress up.

“Zean!! Says you want to accept me for what it is?” my yelling.

“Don't turn my back, Kanna!!!”

“So now you're no longer in love because I'm fat?!” I started sobbing, pregnant women are really easy to get carried away.

“Kanna!!!” Zean was angry, his tone was very high.

“Alright, if you no longer love me.” I cried and went into the room.

Not just one or two times this fight happened. Almost every day Zean gets mad at me and I get mad at him. My heart that never loved him sincerely made me never feel any real pain. Only the pain of past trauma about body shamming made me cry.

I never thought of Zean, I never felt in love with him, until one day I felt like I was really losing him. And it was too late, I lost everything because of my own mistakes.

— MUSE S3 —

•••

This morning the sky looked so dark. The evening clouds cover the sky. Rain always keeps memories of good times as well as scary. In addition to the memories of Leon, I also remember the memories of Zean who loved me wholeheartedly.

I realized that all of Zean's words were not wrong. The wife's body belongs to the husband, the wife's wisdom is the crown of the husband. Her appearance is a reflection of her husband. As the wife of a businessman I don't deserve to look messy.

I took off all my clothes. Rubbing my whole body with scrubs and soft soap. I applied body butter with a sweet rose scent. I also combed my hair and washed it neatly back. Don't forget I put powder and lip tint.

I rushed downstairs, hoping to let go of Zean's departure to his office with a sweet smile. But too late, Zean had already left. It only looks Bi Sidah who is cleaning dirty dishes on the dining table.

“Master has left, hurry, he said there was a meeting.” said Bi Sidah before I could ask.

“Oh, so,” a disappointed tone came out of my mouth. I have dressed pretty enough.

“Eh, Non. This is Mr. Missing envelope.” Bi Sidah hastily approached me.

“Basic, Zean. He teledor once.” I smiled, this is my chance to deliver the documents.

I went straight back into the room, polishing my face with a touch of make up. I look for the prettiest clothes and spray perfumes. Although I am fat now, but my appearance is quite fashionable.

“Such beauty, Brother. How many months pregnant?” ask the driver about pleasantries.

“It's been almost 6 months,” I said honestly.

“Male or female?”

“Female.”

“Wah, must be beautiful rich Mama.”

“Hehehe, thank you,” my reply was happy. Hearing a poet in the morning makes my mood better.

“The father must be a seneng, I also have a perem child.., blah, blah, blah,” the young man spoke at length.

I was silent, her father never knew where she was. How could he be happy when this child was born? Unknowingly my tears were dripping, I quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand.

“Kok cry?”

“Terharu.” I lie.

“It's here, Brother. Good luck with the delivery.”

“Thank you,” my smile while closing the car door.

I walked towards the CEO's room, the Zean workspace located at the very end of the 4th floor corridor. All the officers greeted me with a sweet smile. They know that I'm the boss' mistress in this place.

I steadied my footsteps, erasing the sadness that was lodged in my heart from remembering the figure of Leon in the taxi.

I took a deep breath before pressing Zean's workroom door handle. But from inside the room there was a faint sigh of a woman. The sigh of pleasure was mixed with Zean's concoction.

DEG...! My heart was pounding again.

What's going on inside?

Did Zean betray me?

Is Zean having an affair?

I slowly opened the door, trying to peer into the room.

“More in, Zean!” the woman's voice sounded soft. I recognize her, she's Orela, Zean's secretary.

The two of them had this disgusting relationship in the office. Fondling on the sofa.

I took a few steps back, my body started to drift. My heart ached so much, my hands were limp until my bag fell. It makes sounds that attract attention.

“Who?” Zean shouted from within.

I didn't want Zean to know where I was, I shuddered and ran away.

I walked down corridor by corridor. Floor by floor. Accelerating my footsteps. My stomach kept on heartburn and tightening out of fear and tension. I got out of the office building and kept running, away and away as soon as possible. I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear any words come out of his mouth.

My heart is so sick...

My tears did not stop flowing...

Sweat drenched my body...

My stomach is getting tighter and stiffer...

My daughter was struggling, she was wriggling in the stomach. Protesting his mother's behavior...

I don't care, I just want to go, want to run from this harsh reality...

The rain started to fall. Soaking up all my clothes, the cold started to rain down and made me tremble violently. But the cold rain did not slow my pace. I continued to penetrate it, running down every street after the road. I have no purpose, I have no direction, and I want to give up!! I-i wanted..,.,., um....,

Tiii.......

BRUUUUKK....!

A car hit my body, making me bounce and roll on a slippery road.

The smell of blood smelled thick. Heavy rain swept the blood that came out from behind my skirt. My eyes are still wide open. I saw a dark sky that covered the sky.

I can't even feel the pain. I could no longer even feel her pulse on my stomach.

Well Leon...

Okay Zean...

Good this baby...

Both my body and my soul...

Everything has left me...

Now, only emptiness, tears, suffering, and inner wounds have I received.

Oh, Poor Kanna.

As I contemplated all of this, pulling the tangled thread back straight. It turned out that all this happened just because of my ego, because of my obsession, because of my thirst for praise and recognition.

I should have remained a fat Kanna, a Bab1-like Kanna. Kanna who loves Leon and Kanna is loved by Leon.

Oh, Poor me...

Now...

You lost everything Kanna.

You lost everything...

Then for what?

What am I doing this for?

— MUSE S3 —

😭😭😭😭

Cry Kanna.

Author good hiatus pas lebaran no??

MUSE!!

YUK SUPPORTS KANNA'S LOVE AND HER LIFE STORY.

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Dee & __________________________________________________