Roses Are Not in Love
Self Conscious Enough.

Happy Reading's...

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Almost six hours drowning in busyness to forget everything, I only realized that I had another obligation after seeing Gus Karim who was about to leave the shelter. And Gus Karim seemed to understand my busyness and the limitations of female volunteers, therefore Gus Karim deliberately approached me before leaving this place.

"Mbak Roses, just stay here, because there is still a shortage of women. Let me let you go to the manager's department." For a moment I was angry about Mas Karim's words, not because I doubted Gus Karim's words. But, more because of my discomfort by the clothes and veil I used from this morning to this afternoon.

"Sorry, Gus. Actually I want to go back, because I'm not comfortable with my dirty clothes." I answered honestly, even with a slight fear.

"I understand, Rose. But, this is not good if you get home at this time, considering the sky will be dark and the road that must be passed is a forest as well as slippery." Gus Karim paused his words, from the tail of my eyes that were looking down, I could see Gus Karim was glancing to the left where Mas Karang was being served. "

"Samplean power is needed here, so I'll have it here for a while." I was shocked to hear the continuation of Kata Gus Karim, but I also could not refute Gus Karim's words, and I could only squeeze my hands in turns. "Tomorrow in the morning once I will come again here, and I will bring you a change of clothes. So, just write what you need, then let Mbak Bia prepare.".

This time I can not argue anymore Gus Karim, what else when Gus Karim just entrust me to Mas Karang to take care of him.

Do you know, the thing that I fear the most is that if I stay here, it is the sense of inappropriate that will be buried in the midst of the suffering of many people, then make this situation the reason why I should be here and forget the purpose of helping others.

Is it possible that sincerity will be achieved, if there is another reason for a goal. Or will grow sincerely in the chest, if in every motion want to be noticed. Allahurobbi, if I could control this heart so as not to branch out anywhere, then bind all the passions of love that have not been owned, then it would be easier to live this as a duty of call to the heart.

Back with a piece of paper I had folded. I found Gus Karim and Mas Karang talking next to Gus Karim's car. Seeing that they were talking a little seriously, my feet did not want to continue their steps and were about to turn around, but did not continue because Mas Karang realized my presence.

"Roses." Say Mas Karang. I also moved my legs while looking down.

"It's Gus." I said briefly to Gus Karim while handing him a piece of paper.

"Oh yes." I grabbed the paper I was goading and immediately pocketed it. "Mas Karang, do not forget to take care of Mbak Roses. I'm kind of sanctioned if you're busy." Karim repeated the word again. And I think it's funny, like I'm a kid who never lived outside, and let them know, that what I've done more than this is certain they won't believe.

"Okay, ready to go." Mas Karang replied, and from his tone like while laughing.

Gus Karim immediately said goodbye and then left the refugee camp immediately after his greeting we replied. After Gus Karim's car was no longer visible, I quickly turned around, as well as Mas Karang.

There were no words we let out even though we went hand in hand, and I also chose to return to fight with what was assigned to me, and try to focus on my role to help in the medical department, he said, even though I know it's completely common to me.

The sky had darkened and two three stars appeared in the dark of the night, when Sister Yesha finally finished the hand-slaying of a girl about the age of eight. Amidst all these limitations, I kept waiting for the little boy in front of me by holding his hand tightly.

Trauma, that's what is in his subconscious brain, so in his silence sometimes he continues to tiptoe in shock and sometimes yell calling his parents for help. Until midnight, the sound of voices kept changing in special tents of injured people.

Crying, crying, pain, and many other things. However, for me this little boy in front of me really makes me unable to leave him even for a moment.

"Not slept, Rose.?" The voice of Mas Karang arrived surprised me, and made me turn to look at Mas Karang who was checking the infusion on my side sitting.

"Not yet drowsy." My answer.

"Rest, Rose. You're tired of working all day. You still need energy for tomorrow too." Answer Mas Karang again.

I did not answer him and just kept silent while not wanting to let go of the little hand that was in my grasp. "Can I just sleep here.?" I asked Mas Karang, which is more precisely called demand.

"There's a special nurse on guard, Rose. It would be better for you to rest in the place that has been prepared for you. As I said earlier, you still need your strength for tomorrow." Mas Karang.

I breathe deeply within. "Karang Mas there is a schedule tonight at this time.?" I asked as I looked at him, and ahh, what sight is this. Why behind his tired face, Mas Karang actually looks even sweeter with his thin smile.

"No, it's just that I made sure you got some rest first." Answer Mas Karang kalem.

This heart again misunderstood the words of Mas Karang which I call attention, but in fact it is a responsibility that is entrusted to him.

I got up from my place and was about to walk slowly towards my resting place. However, when I was outside the tent, the cold immediately bit the skin of my face, until without me noticing my teeth were resounding to divert the cold.

"Has been lightening.?" The Coral Mas Jas that draped on both of my shoulders instantly warmed not only with my body, but also with my heart. And it managed to make my steps restrained to look to the side where Mas Karang was.

"Mas. Hachu."

"You're allergic to cold like it is, Rose." Say Mas Karang. "Let's hurry, lest you get hepothermia." Continue Mas Karang while trying to pull my hand, but soon I avoid it.

"I can do it myself, Mommy." My answer hastened my pace.

"Sorry, Rose. I didn't mean it that way." Mas Karang's words made me slow down my steps. "Sorry, karen."

"It's okay Mas Karang. I understand." I said as I turned around and immediately grabbed the Mas Karang suit that stopped by your body.

"This is you just wear." Mas Karang immediately said as I shrugged his suit.

I shook my head slowly. "I have a jacket inside. I just forgot to wear it." My answer.

"Rose, I really don't mean anything.."

"I know Mas Karang. I wouldn't misunderstand either. It's." I said while commenting on my thin smile for Mas Karang.

"All right." Mas Karang replied quietly and there was a look in the eye that I had to either squint as to what. It was like unwillingness, like worry and there was also a warm gaze. But, do I deserve to be looked at like that. Who I am until I deserve it.

"Roses. Your heart is soft." I have to how. Tell me what to say Mas Karang, this really makes me soar into the air, but not for long because the words Mas Karang said made me realize, that it was just a compliment I shouldn't have gotten.

"The boy will be fine tomorrow. Seeing your persistence at his side, made me realize that not only medicine is needed, but also attention."

"That's not worth it, Mom." Reply lirih. "Why do I care about the little boy, because I can feel the way he feels, losing the person who loves him at the same time. I was once in his position, and was orphaned simultaneously. So, I'm not the kind of person to think about. Good night, Mommy." I left Mas Karang who was still unmoved from his place when I heard my words.

Yeah, I'm not the person she imagined I would be. I'm not a good person, I'm just a person who tries to be good, easy to be with Mas Karang know who I am, Mas Karang will no longer make my heart soar with his kindness, he said, compliment and will make distance for us. Because I'm self-conscious enough.

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Seriate...

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By: Ariz Coffee

@maydina862