Roses Are Not in Love
Peace Learning.

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I promised not to cry anymore, especially in front of Aliena. But, I can't. Why, God doesn't stop joking with me. Why, never just cut off the blood relationship between Aliena and her father. Why, Aliena's father had to want Aliena. Why..?

I know exactly, Aliena's father wouldn't joke with her. And as for the lawsuit, he will definitely prepare for it soon. He knows exactly my weakness, because I wouldn't be able to fight him if it was already within the realm of law. Of course, I don't have enough wealth and strength to fight it. I have to how.?

Days passed, and there wasn't a day without Aliena asking for her father. When are you going to pick up Alin, when are you going to take Alin, or when are Dad and Brother coming to see Alin. All those questions I never answered, because he never came back. But today, Aliena has been sitting on the porch with eyes that continue to see the fence waiting for people who claim to be Father, but after appearing a few hours just a few weeks ago, he said, he never came back just to see the state of Aliena.

Tired of persuading, finally I troublesome Erik and Bella to join in persuading Aliena and fitting along with their arrival with Rendi who also came to visit with arriving.

"Alin wants me to come." That line of words made Erik look at me sharply and dragged me into the house.

"Call him, War.!"

"I can't, Rick. I can't.!"

"Do you have no pity for Aliena. For God's sake, throw away your heartache for Aliena, War. Be wise. Make peace with the masses, so that the burden you feel does not have an impact on Aliena." I did not budge from my place even though Erik had left me alone who was trapped by Erik's words which were like a slap to me.

Right, I had to make peace with the mass then so I could focus more on the Aliena treatment. But, I need some time. I need to organize my heart, organize my feelings when finally Aliena will be brought by her father and then not give me the opportunity to take care of Aliena. Would Erik understand if I might not be able to set foot on this earth if Aliena was taken from me.?

I understand the attitude of Aliena's father, therefore I still stand selfish by ignoring the feelings of Aliena. What is because too often hurt, until the feeling of was was dominate. Or, it's a fort I deliberately made so that I don't get hurt again. Then, is that how I can just as easily hurt Aliena.?

"I'll be there for you, War." A few words Rendi made me wipe the tears that almost escaped my eyes, then tried hard to smile to Rendi.

"Don't do that, War. My chest is tight to see. Cry if it's too heavy for you." Rendi spread her hands to open the chest of her field to float my head that seemed not to want to be upright.

Want me to scatter in his arms, if only I could not remember that there was no reason for me to lean my head on Rendi or hide my tears from the world in Rendi's arms. Because I don't want to be pitied.

"Still the same, War. And this is not an offer, this is a certainty of my will. So that you lean on me. I'll wait patiently for you to give me confidence, and in return I'll give you happiness." I gaped at Rendi's words.

Rendi is no longer a nosy little boy to me, or a Middle School boy who likes to seduce me. Rendi is a doctor, what life is too boring, until Rendi chose to make a joke by giving me a breath of fresh air with the word sweet. Was I so sad that Rendi comforted me with an unreasonable joke.

"I know, it's not the right time. But, I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling out of control." Rendi paused her speech as soon as I raised my head to look at her. "Aliena is your priority, Aliena is your pulse. But, unconscious of you, that you and Aliena are the detags of my heart. Open a little gap for me so I can make sure that you and Aliena can be in charge of me."

My lips are cuddly, my mind is empty. The entire word Rendi said like an inscription engraved on water, disappearing without a trace. All this time it never seems to be in my brain, that there will be someone offering me a shoulder to lean on, especially Rendi. Or maybe my confidence had collapsed from the wounds that had been inflicted on Aliena's father, so I always closed my eyes and ears with those around me.

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"Alliena..!" I screamed as I did while lifting up Aliena's body which twitched along with her skin turning blue. Run as hard as I can, regardless of the look of pity of the person who was looking at me, and not a few who panicked like me. And lucky for me, because there was one of the neighbors who sprightly directly pulled out his vehicle to help me.

My two fingers turned blue because I deliberately put it in Aliena's mouth so as not to let Aliena bite her tongue during the second seizure on the way to the hospital. In the last few months, this is the first time I've seen Aliena really drob. And that's just because I miss the guy I call Dad.

If he came just briefly to encourage Aliena, then no matter what else after. Why should he put his face in front of Aliena. No matter how angry I am, no matter how hard I am with him, he is still Aliena's father, and it won't be that easy to give up just because I kicked him out that time. Can I be mad at him, which has made Aliena miss him.

Should I still give in, can't she just put her ego aside a little for Aliena. Do I have to bow at her feet so she'll come see Aliena.

"Have you contacted me, Daffa.?" Erik's question stopped me from speculating with my feelings. Then shook slowly.

"Contact him." Erik continued while giving his phone.

"I don't know where to call her, Rik." I answered softly without turning my gaze away from Aliena's pale face.

"Let me go to him." Erik answered for sure and was about to move, but I quickly grabbed his hand.

"Give me a little more time to prepare my heart, Rik."

"Just give me a little time." My lips can only say that, because I was too embarrassed if I had to tell Erik honestly about the wishes of Aliena's father who wanted to take him and finally Erik will also be bothered with legal matters to help me. I don't want any of that.

If it's true that Aliena's father filed a custody lawsuit against Aliena, then the best path I can take is to surrender. Not that I don't want to keep Aliena next to me, but because of Aliena. I don't want Aliena to get worse with the parents' business. Let me give in, as I assume that I gave Aliena's father a chance to take care of Aliena. But, I need time, not as fast as Erik's wishes.

"Well, if in two days the state of Aliena has not improved, with or without your consent. I'm going to go see Aliena's father." Break up Erik with his upset face, annoyed face because it worries me too much of course.

I have to see when I'm a burden to Erik. It may be true Erik said, when I make peace with the mass then everything will gradually improve. If that is so, I must remove this pain by presenting others as a cure, it is not enough that the drug is just Aliena.

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Nothing changes with the state of Aliena, the red rash more and more even some turn blue. The doctor has given the drug more than the usual dose, but as if the drug does not react at all.

True Aliena did not complain if it hurt for her, that every needle stuck in her hand gave a tremendous pain sensation, added with each injection for a few hours that is routinely done by the nurse on the instructions of the doctor. But, every drop of his tears that shot out without a sound was already proof that he was in pain. And much more painful, when the person who always missed him never saw him.

The presence of Rendi can divert a little what Aliena wants, because indeed Rendi is quite close and understands very well with the character of Aliena. But, after the incident a few weeks ago, I prefer to stay a little away from Rendi. Because honestly I'm still afraid that I have to involve feelings for all relationships. I'm afraid I'm hurt back. The seriousness of Rendi I can see with her choosing to be transferred to the City of G. But, again, I am still afraid. I'm traumatized.

"Today Papa's doctor has moved house near us, so it could be every day Papa's doctor comes to see Aliena." I said as I prepared to put Aliena to bed. Not just Aliena, but me, too.

"Alin was happy, but Alin would be happy again if Dad came to see Alin with Brother." Again, my heart is hearing it.

"Later Dad will come. When Alin wakes up, he'll be right next to Aliena." I said lie, after all the reasons I gave were not accepted by Aliena.

Aliena's happy face before falling asleep made my chest tight and returned to prepare a new lie after Aliena woke up. There's at least one thing I can do before Aliena wakes up, which is to call Erik so he wants me to bother.

"Come home, Rick. Get me a change of clothes."

"I thought you'd say come to him." Said Erik flat.

I sighed deeply before finally choosing to suppress all my ego for the sake of Aliena. "Tell him Aliena misses him and looks forward to his arrival." There was a burden that seemed to come off my shoulders as I said that word. What might this be what Erik said, that the mass will always lighten the load. Yeah, I'll learn to make peace with the past, if Aliena's father comes after Erik meets her.

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By: Ariz Coffee.

@maydina862