Roses Are Not in Love
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The road is winding, some are cornering sharply, some are climbing, some are declining, after passing it all, will arrive on the flat road and find the pleasure of the journey into the story. Like me, there are times when I am at a dilapidated point in life, then find a way back that starts from heartache because of love.

And from that love alone, I found the true meaning of love. My love for the Divine. And it's much more soothing in the heart, because we just need to love without caring where love comes back from.

For a month, I had changed my appearance gradually, little by little. Also changed my association, which my friend was previously a male friend, now I began to get closer to the girls.

From the beginning, I never wore revealing clothes anywhere. My daily clothes tend to be men's clothes. And it doesn't need much change of course, despite so much protest and blasphemy from my friends, I don't care about it. Not spared, Rendi also commented on my current appearance.

"I swear by what the heavenly angel came down to earth, if not to accompany me through the day." Rendi said fitting first saw me wearing a robe and hijab for the first time.

"Iler's conditioned, Ren." Said one of my hostesses. "But really, War. You look like you're dying a little." Continue slowly.

"You fought the cave, said the rose died a little. He's the heavenly angel of the cave."

"Well, sleep used to dream." I, who was lazy to serve them, chose to leave those who were arguing.

Changing my appearance is not just about it, but I also try as much as possible to change every waraiiku. It's difficult indeed, what else I was previously the type of person who likes rea reo and is reckless, arriving must be a little calm, too, I even tried really hard to change my way of speaking to make me sound polite.

I don't know where his knowledge is from. To be sure, I'm just trying to be ashamed of the hijab I've been wearing, if I'm still acting the same way I was before. A violent protest also had Erik sent to me, about a week ago when Erik was returning to boarding. Until we arrived, a long debate had to color our meeting at that time.

"It's all because of Daffa. The cave really can't believe all this, War. You're really childish." Erik said in a annoyed tone.

"This has nothing to do with the same, Bang Daffa, Rik. It's purely my own heart's desire." Refute to me quickly. Because honestly, I don't want my desire to change for the better in relation to my feelings of hurt. Although, I can't seem to come my way of hijrah started from there as well.

"Give the cave a proper reason, War. So that the cave does not need to worry about the trend you are following."

I took a deep breath, before I finally allowed my way to sit facing Erik. "We never know where we'll be, Rik." I pause my words while looking at Erik's reaction from looking at his face. A frown on Erik's forehead, showing that he didn't understand what I was trying to say.

"Death is a mystery, Rik. Like my parents at the time. That morning, they looked fine and drove me to school with their long advice, without thinking it was the message they left me, and I forgot that message until a few years back." I breathed back in the middle of an atmosphere that became serious.

My deep breath, as if to be a rhythm of tension between me and Erik. "At least, I want to carry out the mandate of my late parents step by step, Rik. I want to be a filial son and pray for them."

Erik's hand was outstretched about to wipe the tears that suddenly dripped on my cheek, but with a quick movement I avoided it. "War, you're a good guy the cave knows that. Loe obey your religion."

"That's not enough, Rik." Our eyes met again, and this time I saw Erik's gaze had turned soft from before.

"So, is your heart the same word Bang Daffa.?" Said Erik who arrived out of his path.

I neighed like a smiling horse, and I quickly threw my eyes away. "Let it be in the heart. He's found his love."

"Loe..?" Erik asked confusedly.

I hung up a wry smile and tried to gather every little particle of his pain loving silence, and it hurt even more when the heart was still unable to accept the state that his love was just clapping one hand. In fact, there is much more painful, because his love loves the closest people who deny him.

The scattering of Kak Melati's story about Kak Melati's growing relationship with Bang Daffa, made me paint their romance in my own imagination. And add incision wounds that do not look anything else bleeding, but so sore in the taste.

"What. Don't joke, War. How did Daffa get to know each other.!" Erik's tone of voice sounded keget not kepalang.

I just shook my head weakly while still maintaining a wry smile on my face. "That's one secret, mate." Reply slowly. "Well, but I'm fine, Rik. I am so happy that Kak Melati met the right person who loved her and Kak Melati was excited about it. That's leb.."

"Lying, War. The cave sees the wound in your heart. That was your first love."

"Ha.ha.ha.. A month and two months, a year and two years, will still hurt. But, it will definitely come to me too, someone who offers happiness with him. Wiped all the wounds until I forgot how to cry. And most importantly, I'll also check it out." I said with a fake laugh.

"Gua sure, you didn't tell me about Daffa to Melati." Cynical Erik. "It should be a discussion for you. Given that it will not be easy to see later, if the beautiful plan of Melati and Daffa is really realized."

"Son Melati deserves to be happy, Rik."

"Loe deserves to be happy, too, War." Erik's.

"My happiness is easy. Seeing Kak Melati happy will make me happy." Answer me calmly.

"liks. There is no happiness in lies." Reply Erik fiercely.

"Keep what I have to do, Rik. Tell me how to.? What about telling Kak Melati.? And Sister Melati will release Bang Daffa for me. What like that would bring us happiness." Erik just kept listening to me.

I know very well the nature of Kak Melati, who will give me whatever I want even though Kak Melati likes it very much. And if only I would be selfish to think of my feelings as one without involving what Bang Daffa felt, telling Kak Melati everything would be easy. But my heart is too naive for that.

For me, love does not need to be reciprocal. What is love alone. In the case I'm in. I loved Bang Daffa silently, while Kak Melati and Bang Daffa loved each other. Then where am I..?

"Missing it's not easy. What else beats your own ego. But, if all is in a landing on the basis of love, then all will be possible and light in taste. Lie if you don't feel pain. However, the highest drajat of loving it, when the heart is able to release a person in love in order for him to be happy." Either I get a sentence from where, but with that sentence makes Erik understand with the attitude that I take, and the debate with Erik berahir without the calm clarity of his protest about my way of hijrah.

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By: Ariz Coffee

@maydina862