Purity Online - The World For The Fallens
[Season 2] Chapter 30: Lie of Christmas
"This ... is not a miracle at all ...."
"This should not happen on a happy and beautiful day like Christmas."
"People say Christmas is always full of happiness and wonder, but ...."
"Christmas this time .. is a curse."
"After the deaths of my parents, I lived a life of emptiness. My foster parents are not very rich, so there is no legacy they can leave behind. My grandfather and adoptive grandmother had all died since I had not been raised as a child. My foster parents were both only children. I had the help of condolences from my friends and teachers, but I wasn't sure the amount was enough to meet my life's needs for a long time. I think I should be working part-time soon."
"Time is passing and the new year is approaching. Everyone seemed very happy to welcome the new year, in contrast to me who had lost the purpose of life. The sound of fireworks and the unrelenting trumpet blowing sounded. I just looked at them from a distance and didn't participate. All those fireworks to me were not at all festive, they were very noisy."
"New year .. Why do I celebrate when nothing has changed at all?"
"I tried my hardest to make the most of my life, but the result was a huge zero. Fate betrayed me."
"Yes .., but .. that's, right, in my context."
"Maybe they live a happier life than mine."
"Maybe Goddess Fortuna gave them more luck."
"But, why?!"
"Why am I the only one who has a tragic life like this?!"
"I have never done anything wrong or wrong from birth until now. I'm just a kid who wants to try my best."
"Life .. is really unfair."
"Destiny is cruel."
"Why do good people always leave me first?"
"Why should I live a life filled with this curse and misfortune?"
"Now, I have to face again this cruel outside world. This time without Santa, the caretaker, my friends at the orphanage, or my adoptive parents. I have to face it alone."
"Can I do it?"
"Do I still have a tomorrow?"
"Speaking about Santa .., I so wondered if that happiness-carrying middle-aged man really existed. He hasn't come back since that day."
"Maybe all my friends have been right. Santa is just my imaginary friend. All my encounters with him happen in my imagination. The story of Santa Claus is just a fairy tale to lie to children."
"Santa is not real. Santa is a lie. The magic of Christmas is a lie. All the happiness I got was just a lie. I think everything in my life is just a lie."
"No .., what's wrong with me? Why can I think like that? My hard work all this time couldn't have been in vain. It's impossible to betray results, isn't it?"
"If I continue to live with that mindset, then I will live like a dead person. So, I put those negative thoughts out of my mind."
"Christmas and new year's holidays are over and the second semester begins. Again, I tried hard to make the most of my life. If financial conditions can't help me, then the achievement can be. I studied and continued to study with all my might so that my grades would be sufficient for the scholarship. I am sure that with this, my life will be even better. I will get my happiness back!!"
"But I was wrong."
"They say effort will not betray results."
"That's bullshit."
"All those scholarships I didn't get."
"It turns out I'm not as smart as I thought I was all along."
"The negative thoughts are true."
"Santa, the magic of Christmas, and all the happiness I get are lies."
"Well, what am I going to live for?"
"Is my existence also just a lie?"
"Is my life just a lie?"
"Yes .., it seems so."
"There is no evidence that my existence is real. In this world, I'm the only one who doesn't get happiness."
"I'm so stupid. I kept fighting hard even though I knew the results would be in vain. I fight only for the unreal."
"Maybe it would be better if I just die soon, than to live a useless life like this."
"I quit school without a letter of resignation or explanation to the school. I don't care even if they think I'm rude. There is no point in trying to get achievements there. For me now, it's just a silly place where students who are lied to compete for high grades that are worth nothing."
"Some of that year I continued to repeat the same cycle. Eat, work part-time, sleep, then eat again, and work part-time again. Why do I keep working? So that I can continue to eat and survive, of course. So, what am I living for? I don't know. I want to ask God the same question."
"Winter changed to spring, spring changed to summer, summer changed to autumn, and autumn changed to winter again. Christmas is getting closer. For others it may be a good sign, but for me it is a bad sign. What more Christmas curse will befall me this time?"
"Because of many thoughts, I did not look to my left while crossing the road and at that very moment a loud honking sound was heard in my ear. I looked over and saw a large truck that was very close to me. The light from the front lights of the truck made my eyes glare. I think trying to avoid it now is futile."
"I thought this was gonna happen. Now, after everything around me is taken away, I will definitely be the next target."
"Loud impact sounds sounded along with the pain that pierced my bones. My sight immediately became dark. The sound of screams and panicked voices from other pedestrians could be heard for a moment, before the atmosphere became silent. Yes, I'm dead. Instead of not saving others like in the movies, I just don't because of my own carelessness. But, no problem. At least now I can feel peace. It's better than living an unreal, sickening life."
"At least that's what I thought ...."
"However, once again I was wrong ...."
"After my death, I met the black-robed woman."
"Women who later gave me .. something to protect."
To be continued
Next Chapter:
[Season 2] Chapter 31: The Power of Nightmares