STEADFASTNESS OF LOVE
The Hugs I've missed

"Sir Rafa!" call Hana softly, Rafa's face is very serious. Hana sat right next to Rafa. It looks like Rafa is busy with a pile of papers that Hana never knew the contents of. Hana is just a SMU graduate, she never went to college. Hana was lucky to finish the SMU bench. He never expected, if he could pass SMU.

Rafa's two hands were busy fiddling with his laptop keybord. He looked very serious and seemed to forget about his surroundings. Rafa is really busy. But Hana's condition suddenly decreased. His head feels very dizzy. His body had a slight fever, Rafa was anxious when Salsa contacted him. He said Hana was sick. Without saying much, Rafa took all his work home. Finally, Rafa works on the bed while accompanying Hana.

"Sir Rafa!" call Hana again, Rafa stays with his original position. Serious with his work, not telling or just looking at Hana. Finally, Hannah decided to wake up. He realizes that Rafa is busy and serious about his office work.

"Darling!" rafa said, her hand holding Hana. Hana turned her head, feeling Rafa holding her hand. But when Hana turned her head, Rafa remained focused on her laptop.

"Sir Rafa let go, I want to go to the kitchen!" hana said struggling, Rafa turned his head while smiling. He shook his head slowly, Hana stared flatly at Rafa. Hana was not angry or upset at Rafa. Hana is very aware, if Rafa is busy. Honestly Hana never wanted Rafa to accompany her. Because it would disrupt his work.

"Honey, where are you going? Why call, but now want to leave me? What do you want?" rafa said, she pulled Hana's body into her arms. Hannah silently looked at Rafa. Hana thinks Rafa didn't respond. That's why Hannah wants to go to the kitchen herself.

"I have to go to the kitchen, my throat is dry. I'm hungry too. Didn't Rafa's brother not pay me any heed. So I'll go alone. Rafa is also very busy. I'd better go to the kitchen by myself. I don't want to bother Rafa!" cerocos Hana, Rafa shook his head. Gently rafa kissed Hana on the nape. Smelling of shampoo from behind her hijab. Rafa seemed to calmly smell the fragrant body of Hana. It smells like it makes it comfortable and quiet.

"Darling, my life is just to care about you. When will I be able to ignore you? Even though my eyes don't look at you, my heart and mind are always with you. I kept quiet because I was focused. But I was waiting for you to say. What do you really want? Not saying what you want? You want to get away from me!" rafa said, denying, Hana fell silent and then resuscitated her body to Rafa. Honestly, Hana really misses Rafa's approach.

Rafa's hug that feels warm starts to feel away due to busyness. She rarely meets Rafa. Sometimes just breakfast, Hana difficult to sit together at one table. Rafa seemed to feel far from Hana's reach.

Instead Rafa went silent for a moment after Hana said everything to Rafa. There was guilt in his heart. Rafa realizes, if lately he is busy working on mega projects that are represented by Rizal. Rafa is too focused to forget everything. Don't understand Hana's feelings. Take a moment to rest your body and mind. Rafa is very difficult. His work begins to take Rafa from his family.

"Dear, I'm sorry I was too busy. I seem to have forgotten that I have you and Fathan. I'm sorry for hurting your heart and feelings. Don't make yourself depressed, I'm wrong. Punish me, do not hurt yourself. Why am I this stupid? Ignoring your longing that I have always hoped for. I'm immersed in a job that never ends!" said Rafa lirih, he clutched tightly Hana. As if I didn't want to let go. Hana shook her head in Rafa's arms. A second later Hana took a deep breath. Rafa heard clearly Hana's breathing. The restlessness that was kept tight in Hana's silence. Something that accidentally makes Rafa hurt Hana and her future baby. Every breath Hana. Like a knife that stuck right in Rafa's heart. The pain that cut through his heart.

"Sir Rafa is not wrong. I felt too much, as if I did not want to lose the warmth that was always there for me. I felt comfortable with your attention, but I forgot how to get it. Your warmth I always miss, but I'm ashamed to admit it. I love you so much, but I forgot how to show that love. Your attention and attention, make me high-hearted. I always assume without being asked. Your love is only for me. But a few days the attention disappeared. Makes me feel like I've lost you. It wasn't Rafa who hurt me. I never realized your love was too big for me!" hana said softly, her hand pulled Rafa's hand. Hana kissed Rafa's hand full of tenderness. Hana vented all her longing. There is no more pride that separates them. Rafa twisted Hana's body, tightly hugging the body of the woman he loved so much. Rafa buried Hana in his arms. Repeatedly Rafa kissed Hana's head covered in hijab. Rafa vows love, as if to pay for his mistakes. Rafa never wanted to drop a single tear from Hana. Now it's clear Rafa made Hana cry. It was not only Hana's two beautiful eyes that were crying. Rafa seemed to hear Hana's heart cry. Hana's longing felt so great. Rafa feels in every touch of Hana. The love that Rafa always asks. Love is tightly shut by Hana's silence.

"Darling, I'll never get away from you. Every breath is just to remember you. Sorry I got too late at work. I'm too stupid to let your love not be felt by me. The love I always hoped for. Thank you for saying this love. I really love you very much. I could lose anything, but not you. I'll replace every second of your pain. I put all these papers down. We're going on vacation. I don't want to lose you. I'll forget all this paper!" said Rafa, Hana was silent while closing her eyes. Hana felt Rafa breathing. Heartbeats that call his name. Hana felt a warm embrace of Rafa. paid off the anxiety of her heart all this time. It was only this hug that Hana missed. Not fancy things or excess life. Only Rafa's love always makes Hana happy.

"Sir Rafa, I don't want to make you choose between work and myself. I'm not asking for more, just this hug I've always missed. A hug that convinced me. Your love is only for me, Hana Khairunnissa a simple woman with no advantages. I love you without thinking of holding you back. You have to take responsibility for this family. As a wife I can never help you. You have to endure everything yourself. I just need this hug. So that I feel comfortable and consider myself worthy of having it. Although I realize, your love is already too big. Your sincerity all along, accepting my weakness with your strengths. Your patience accepts my cold and rude attitude. Your firmness is sure of the relationship between us. Rela threw away all ties with your family for my sake. Now for the sake of my one complaint, you want to leave the job. No Rafa, I've had enough of your love. Let me just hug you tonight. Sleep in your warm embrace. It's enough to make me healthy again!" hana said, Rafa nodded in understanding. There is no point in forcing, Rafa already knows who Hana is?

"Darling, I'll never lose your longing again. Your attitude as I wait. I will accompany your sleep. We're going down to the kitchen. I'll make you dinner. After that we rest!" said Rafa, Hana shook her head in Rafa's arms. His hands hugged Rafa tightly. A hug that could make Rafa lose would. Rafa will be willing to lose everything he has. For the sake of this hug.

"I'm not hungry, I need this warm hug. I miss your warm embrace!" hana said, Rafa kept silent and kissed Hana on the top of the head.

"honey, lose whatever I'm willing to. As long as you hold me like this. A longing hug, a hug that made me forget this world. Honey, I love you so much. I'm sorry if it tormented you, but at least now I realize. My name is in your heart. Thank you for missing my hug. Thank you for loving me. Thanks baby, I'll pay for your restlessness. I will make every day full of good memories. So that you don't feel, I'll stay away from you. This hug and love is only for you!"