STEADFASTNESS OF LOVE
Mama Everything...

Last night Faiq was back, after a month he volunteered. Faiq will return to the hospital. For a month Faiq found true happiness in being a doctor. A smile emanated from the citizens who got Faiq's help. Making his heart tremble, there was an indescribable sense of pride. The pride of being someone who is useful to others. Faiq felt that his efforts to become a doctor were not in vain. Faiq was happy when he saw the smiles on the faces of the people he helped.

A word of thanks from the innocent lips of the villagers. It is like a priceless beautiful gift. Even if it's just gratitude. But words spoken with sincerity will not be replaced. A simple life that was felt for a month. Become a new personal Faiq. He began to feel neglected to be human. Faiq seemed to forget the word of gratitude, but after returning from the village. Faiq understood the true meaning of gratitude. Faiq's life all this time made him forget the meaning of simple life. Although he has been living independently all this time. Faiq felt less grateful. His heart's eyes opened after he felt life full of limitations in the village.

The luxury he felt, after a month of living in simplicity. Makes Faiq feel very lucky. Faiq felt very grateful for all the favors he felt. Faiq never thought. If he becomes a person with more enjoyment. Since then Faiq has felt. It was no longer appropriate for Faiq to plead, let alone about his taste for Davina. Faiq felt that everything he felt was more than enough. Not everything Faiq wanted had to be realized. There are times when we understand that everything is arranged according to his needs.

"Faiq, mama can come in!" hana said, Faiq turned his head while nodding. Faiq just finished praying magrib. He was being relaxed, Faiq decided to be at home. As was his custom, Faiq preferred to be in the room. Faiq chose to spend his time reading health books. Faiq rarely spends his time with his peers. Closed private faiq. He was not very close to his fellow doctors. Faiq only deals with them when it comes to his patients.

Sometimes Hana misses this son. Faiq is the opposite of Fathan. If Fathan prefers to always be next to his mom. Instead Faiq prefers to stay away from the mother. Why was Faiq so hard on his heart? He didn't want to get close to something. If only the wounds would be felt. Faiq is the opposite of Rafa. He was so afraid to compete. Personal Faiq who surrender and surrender to the written path. Not wanting to be a lazy person. But Faiq preferred to give up. If only silence would bring happiness to others. Faiq will only compete for certain things. He won't compete if he hurts others.

"Please, Faiq is done!" sahut Faiq lirih, Hana approached Faiq. He looked around the son's room. Very neat and not too much stuff in it. Maybe Faiq's son was born from his womb. But since a few years ago, right before his departure to study abroad. Hannah no longer knew her son. No one knows Muhammad Faiq Alhakim. He seems to be another person. Almost two months after his arrival, Faiq seemed to not want to know his family anymore. He always avoids when there is a gathering together. Faiq always looked for reasons to avoid. I don't know why Faiq behaved like that?

"Faiq, mama wants to ask you something. That's if you're willing to answer honestly your mom's question. So that you don't take the wrong step!" hana said softly, Faiq blinked his eyes. As if to agree with Hana's words. Faiq sat right beside Hana. Faiq felt close to his mother. After years apart. Hana looked at Faiq's face which was so handsome and mature. Adult attitude that seems to be the distance between mother and child. Hana felt, Faiq's independence seemed to make such a deep distance. Although the distance is felt, it is invisible. Then Hana drew Faiq's hand, grabbed him and kissed him. As a sign of a mother's longing. Faiq felt Hana's long-held affection. Faiq was not angry at Hana. Faiq's cold attitude, so that he does not hate Hana more.

"Faiq, I'm sorry. Don't punish mom for too long. Mama misses you, she hugs you. If my mom or dad made a mistake with you. Mama's sorry, go back to being the old Faiq. Mama misses Faiq the son who was born from my womb. Mama please!" hana said softly while looking down, instead Faiq furrowed his brows. He did not understand what Hana said. More precisely, Faiq pretended not to understand the direction of Hana's conversation. Faiq deliberately wanted to cover up the anxiety that had been stored tightly in his heart. Faiq felt the pain of his mother. But Faiq is only a child who can be hurt by his parents' decision. On the other hand, Faiq was afraid of hurting his parents. Therefore Faiq chose silence, he did not want to hurt his parents. He felt enough of his heart.

"Mama, what should Faiq forgive? My mom did nothing wrong to me. All this time I've been fine. I was just looking for myself. The one who apologized was me, not my mom. I have become a failed child. I made my mother beg, it is not appropriate for a mother to beg. Until whenever mom stays the main one. Forgive Faiq, who began to forget the responsibilities as a child!" said Faiq lirih, Hana gave a long sigh. He had expected, it would not be easy for him to make Faiq tell him the truth. Faiq would remain silent harboring his heart wound. Hana will not easily know the restlessness of Faiq's heart. How hard is Hana trying? Faiq will remain silent, he does not want others to worry about his condition.

"Faiq, why keep everything by yourself? Mama and papa are there for Faiq. Brother Fathan is there to be your brother. We're your family, so let us understand the burden you bear. Mama please!" hana said again, faiq shook his head while smiling. Faiq remained steadfastly keeping tight all the suffering he felt. Faiq was silent, he would not change his mind. Because Faiq felt his decision was right by keeping his heart wound.

"Until this moment, I'm fine. If anything happens, you'll be the first to hear it. Mama is the one who has the most right to hear Faiq's complaint!" sahut Faiq firmly, Hana could only sigh deeply. Saying every word Faiq said and thinking Faiq was fine. There will be no more words that can change Faiq's mind. Just waiting for Faiq to say everything. That's when Hana will understand Faiq's restlessness.

"If you're okay. Mama asked you to be at the dinner table tonight. Mama wants you to sit between us. There will be a family of Aunt Diana. Mama will announce something important!" hana said firmly without any bidding, Faiq nodded softly. Hana leaves Faiq, Faiq's smile appears to accompany Hana's steps. Only Faiq knows the meaning of that smile.

Faiq held onto his chest which suddenly beat violently. There is a great sense of pain. Faiq silently heard Hana's request. Family meetings that he always avoided. Finally likes not to like having Faiq come.

"Faiq will be in your midst. I'll listen to the happy news you're about to announce. The night that Faiq has always been all this time. May you be happy to see your two sons sitting at one table. Faiq will be having dinner with his aunt Diana's family and Andrew's family!" said Faiq lirih, Hana nodded slowly while putting on a happy smile.

"Maybe it's time everyone found out. By tonight I've run as far as I can. I wish it all happened, without knowing it. Sometimes hope doesn't come true. The night I always avoided. Now I can't avoid it anymore. It's true, running around avoiding problems won't solve the problem. It all seems right, when I have to go through tonight. Mama, forgive Faiq who remained silent. Tonight, mama will be the one to hurt Faiq the most. But tonight, Faiq will be the most devoted child to mama. Forever only the mama that Faiq loved. For the sake of mama, Faiq was ready to sacrifice everything. Mama gave life to Faiq. Mama allowed Faiq to look at this world. Mama struggles to give birth and raise Faiq, only for Faiq to become a valued person. Only mama's hands will Faiq hold. No other hand will replace him. Faiq will always make mama happy. Although for the sake of happiness, Faiq had to get hurt and cry. Mama, you're everything to Faiq. Faiq will not be angry and hate you. Even though my mom forgot and put me aside. Faiq won't get hurt, even if mom has hurt me. My mother is the source of my grief, as well as my happiness. My heart was there when my mother was disappointed. My happiness is created when my mom laughs. Never be sad, be happy. Because Faiq will always make mama happy. Faiq promised, Faiq will sacrifice the life and love of Faiq for the sake of mama. Thank you for your affection, dear Faiq mama!" inner Faiq in silence. Faiq walked slowly towards the balcony of his room. Look at the dark and silent night sky. The sky that seemed to depict his dark heart without the light of love. The cold of the night breeze, as cold as Faiq's heart at the moment. Not wanting to know love and not expecting love.