STEADFASTNESS OF LOVE
Comfort and Love are different

Two days have been Hana and Rafa in the pesantren. During that time they did a lot of activities. Especially today there will be a meeting of the santri alumni who used to be one class with Rafa. Some of them are still actively visiting pesantren and happen to still be in contact with Rizal or Mila. Deliberately held a meeting today, because there happened to be Rafa.

The meeting will be held in the pesantren hall. Some of them have never visited the pesantren. Even though they know Rafa through a desk or other social media. They could not greet or approach Rafa. Rafa's private closed, making them just know the name without being able to know more. Today when some hear there will be a pesantren improvement that is mostly borne by Rafa. The alumni enthusiastically want to meet Rafa, just want to say hello.

"Darling, you're ready. Maybe the kids have come. We're leaving now!" said Rafa, Hana shook her head weakly. Why did Hana feel inferior among the residents of the pesantren? There was an unusual feeling, as if there was a pair of eyes that were always watching all his movements. Hana felt uncomfortable in the middle of an environment that she had never occupied.

Hana is not a santri, but her parents educate Hana with religion. Since the departure of his parents. Hana lost her grip, there was such a huge void in her life. If usually my own father taught him to teach. As soon as it was all over, it was taken from his hands. The affection of the mother who always accompanies her days. All was destroyed in the blink of an eye. He was lost and out of his life. Suratan destiny takes both parents at one time. The day Hana lost her parents. A day he will never forget.

Today will be a meeting of the students. Most of them have a knowledge of religion above him. As an ordinary human being, Hana felt inferior. Hana seems unable to stand among people who understand religion. Including Rafa who really understands religion far above it. Hana's worry was never known to Rafa. Hana closed her anxiety very well. Hana never thought of making Rafa anxious.

"Sir Rafa, go first. I'll catch up with Fathan. I fear I will be preparing for a long time. I don't want Rafa to be late. After so many years of not meeting, there is certainly a lot you want to talk about. Better get Rafa off now!" hana said softly, Rafa approached Hana. He pulled Hana's body, their two eyes meeting in the air. Rafa looked at Hana's face. Looking for the anxiety Hana stored in her rejection. Rafa cupped Hana's face with both hands. Hana releases Rafa's hand. He did not want Rafa to know his anxiety.

"Darling, what are you thinking? Tell me, since last night your attitude was weird. If you feel uncomfortable here. Now that we go home, I'll say goodbye to Rizal and Abi Malik. I feel like you're nervous, something's bothering you!" said Rafa, he walked away from Hana. As Hana held Rafa's hand, Hana shook her head weakly. Rafa's heart grew more agitated at the sight of Hana acting strangely. Hana may be quiet, but she's not the type to keep a secret. Hana's anxiety is able to catch Rafa easily.

Rafa pulled Hana's body into his arms. Rafa kissed Hana's head gently. He held Hana, leaning Hana's head against the chest of his field. Rafa rubbed Hana's head many times gently. As if to dispel the anxiety of Hana's heart. Instead Hana received every treatment of Rafa coldly. Hana fell silent without thinking to return Rafa's embrace. Hana closed her eyes feeling Rafa's warm embrace.

Rafa's suspicions are growing. Hana's attitude was different yesterday morning. I don't know what makes Han anxious? Rafa himself never seemed to understand. Hana's anxiety was like a knife that irrigated Rafa's heart. The worry of Hana is like salt on her wound. Leaving behind a sense of pain, which Rafa is unable to say. That's what Rafa's heart is like now, he feels pain but is unable to say how sick his heart is?

"Darling, we're going home now. Whatever are you feeling now? I can't see it anymore. I was wrong to bring you here. I should have realized that living in an environment we never knew was not easy. Although only a few days, everything will be difficult when from the beginning there is a sense of comfort!" said Rafa, Hana shook her head weakly. He looked up at Rafa, the face of the husband who looked handsome and reassuring. The calm that Rafa possessed was much expected by someone. Jealousy may be wrong, but it is a woman's instinct. As if the path of a sense of inferiority and jealousy controlled his heart and mind.

"Sir Rafa, I'm fine. Go first, I'll catch up with Fathan. They came to meet you. Don't be a proud person. Ignoring them is not a polite gesture. Meet me, I'll come!" hana said as she winked, a sign of her being fine. Rafa nodded doubtfully, deep in Rafa's heart. She didn't want to leave Hana alone. Pesantren is not where Hana grew up. The foreign atmosphere was clearly felt by Hana. Rafa was worried that something was stirring his heart.

"All right I go, if you don't come. I'll be back, we'll be right home!" rafa said firmly, Hana nodded weakly. Rafa leaves Hana with Fathan in the room. Hana looked at Rafa's back which started to move away.

"How lucky I am to be your wife. When other women wish to be your mother. Strictly you refused and confidently clasped my hand. You understand me with your heart. You love me with your heart. You protected me with your heart. A heart that stuck my name in it. A heart that fully chooses me. A heart that doesn't want me to stay away. A heart that loves me sincerely. Thank you for loving me, your heart and your love the most beautiful gift to me. Thank you!" inner Hana.

After Rafa left, Hana started to prepare. He will leave even if he feels uncomfortable. Hana will be able to feel comfortable as long as there is Rafa beside her. Hana's comfort is only in the arms of her husband. Hana's anxiety today is not without reason. It all started from the talk of Salwa and Mila who Hana accidentally heard. Facts that Hana now clearly knows.

Hana sat beside the bed, looking at Fathan who was asleep. Suddenly Fathan cries, Hana gives Fathan ASI. Hana sleeps next to Fathan, while remembering the talk of Salwa and Mila. Talk of her doubts as Rafa Akbar Prawira's wife.

FLASHBACKS

"Mila, Rafa's melodious voice did not change. The sound of Adhan makes someone cry. A heart-wrenching voice, inviting us to come to the mosque to congregate!" said Umi Salwa, Mila nodded slowly. There was the sound of the Adhan from the mosque speker, the voice of Rafa Akbar Prawira. A heart-wrenching voice for those who hear it. Hana never thought it was Rafa's voice. At first he thought it was the voice of one of the students. Until the moment Hana accidentally heard the talk of Salwa and Mila. At that time Hana just realized, if that's Rafa's voice.

"Yes umi, the same voice and the same tone. It hasn't changed even over the years. The call to get closer is so thrilling. Able to calm the soul that hears it!" mila said, Umi Salwa nodded while patting Mila's hand. The sound of Adhan that made Mila's heart adrift. This is the heart that chooses because of Allah SWT.

"Mila, if that time umi and abi received Rafa's proposal for you. Of course, Hana will not be his wife, but you will be his aunt. Umi used to think you guys were young. There will be no future in your marriage. Forgive the decision that finally hurt you to see the happiness of Rafa!" said Umi Salwa, Mila shook her head weakly. Mila smiled looking at Umi Salwa. An aunt who is like her real mother. Mila has been around since childhood. He was raised by Rizal's parents since childhood.

"Umi Salwa it's all just the past. Hana's a good woman, she deserves to be with Rafa's sister. They're a complementary couple, there's no reason I'm disappointed to see Rafa's happiness. I can still hear the voice of Adhan Rafa is more than enough. The voice of Adzan Rafa who made me adrift. Then one day there will be another Adhan sound that can shake my heart. Umi Salwa pray Mila, that I will be happy with others!" said Mila, Umi Salwa nodded slowly.

"Maybe Hana was a good and obedient person, but Hana's religious knowledge was far below Rafa's. Although Rafa was once a khilaf, but for 6 years here. Rafa is the best santri, everyone recognizes his intelligence above all santri. Including Rizal's own son. Once again forgive umi Salwa who accidentally kept you from happiness!" said Umi Salwa, Mila smiled knot. Hana's heart beat violently hearing the words of Umi Salwa. The words that opened her eyes, that Hana seemed inappropriate for Rafa.

In that instant, Hana also felt inferior among the knowledgeable people. If it was world science, maybe Hana would feel ordinary. But they are people who understand religion. Hana was shocked to hear Salwa's opinion of her. But whatever people think. Rafa and Hana's marriage is not up to them. But all are in love between the two. Mutual understanding and mutual respect.

"Umi, sister Rafa loves Hana very much. The happiness of Rafa is only with Hana and her son. It is inappropriate that we doubt the seriousness of Rafa's brother. We must understand, the soul mate is set. Will not be exchanged, every person has a soul mate. So do not let umi hate Hana, because he saw her happy with Rafa's sister. Hana the reason Rafa's happy!" said Mila, Umi Salwa nodded in understanding. With both eyes he saw the happiness of Rafa and Hana. In front of everyone, Rafa and Hana were not shy about showing their closeness. What Mila said was very true. It would be inappropriate if anyone doubted Hana for Rafa.

FLASH BACK OFF

"Darling, we're home this afternoon. I say goodbye to Rizal and Abi. Whatever you hear, I won't force you to say it. I can already hear it from your gaze and anxiety. One vibration of your hand as you held me earlier. It's been able to make me see the anxiety in your heart and mind!" whispered Rafa while hugging Hana from behind. Rafa lay down right next to Hana. His burly hands hugged Hana and Fathan at once. Hana who was originally imprisoned, was surprised when she felt that there was a hand holding her.

"Sir Rafa, why did you come back here? I'm coming, but Fathan is crying. I really don't lie!" said Hana, Rafa nodded while sticking his head on the nape of Hana. Rafa is able to smell the fragrance of Hana's hair, despite being blocked by the hijab. Warm swirling flows in Rafa's pulse. Hana's trembling hand was already not felt by Rafa. It means that the assumption is right, there is something that Hana deliberately hides from him.

"Darling, get ready we'll go home. My job is done, there's no reason for me to stay. I don't want to see you tormented by this condition. I lived here for 6 years. I spent my days with Rizal and Mila. Every corner of this pesantren holds the memories of the three of us. A memory I will never be able to lose. It was my fault that brought you here, which would eventually make you jealous!" said Rafa, Hana was silent. Not to justify or blame Rafa's words. Hana was looking for a place of sadness, which Hana herself did not know.

"Sir Rafa, may I ask!"

"Hmmm!"

"What confidence are you in? When you were a teenager, you thought you wanted to marry Mila. A once-in-a-lifetime big decision, choosing Mila as your life partner!" said Hana Lirih, Rafa turned her body. He pulls Hana's body in his arms. Rafa made her hand as a pillow for Hana. Instead Hana embraces Rafa's body. Put his head on the husband's chest. Hana is able to hear the sound of Rafa's heartbeat. A beautiful heartbeat sound for Hana.

"My guess is right, something's stirring up your mind. You just clearly said your uneasiness. Apparently someone brought my proposal to Mila first. I'll be honest with you baby, I won't let your mind run wild. I'll confirm Mila's position then and now in my heart!" rafa's inner moment after hearing Hana's question.

"Darling, I've been saying all along here. I spent my days with Rizal and Mila. There is no time left without them. Everyone in Malik's abi family thought I was like a brother. There's a sense of comfort I feel every time I'm with Mila. Mila's tough personality amazed me. His life was a kara, making me think I wanted to protect him. I asked for two reasons. Comfortable and a sense of responsibility, strangely all the taste was bland when his family refused my proposal. At that moment I realized what I felt for Mila. Just a sense of comfort and maybe a responsibility as a sister. There's no love like I feel for you!"

"Sir Rafa, I'm sorry I doubted you!"

"I've loved you since I first saw you. My simple hijab-wearing woman! Besides being comfortable and love is different, it will never be the same" said Rafa kissed the top of Hana's head tightly. Rafa clutches Hana tightly, while Hana drowns her head on Rafa.

"Darling, can Fathan have a sister now?"

"Sir Rafa!" hana shouted annoyedly, Rafa chuckled at Hana's annoyance.

...☆☆☆☆☆...