STEADFASTNESS OF LOVE
That Night...

FAIQ POV'S

Sunlight shone on the innocent face of a teenage girl. The warmth of the sun touches the softness of his white skin. Defeated the cold of the morning that was spitting deep into his heart. A sweet smile adorned a cheerful face that troubled my heart and mind. A young girl in a white-gray uniform. The white hijab completes its appearance. A plain face that can shade both my eyes. The young girl whose boisterous laughter was always heard in my ears.

I don't know since when did that face bother my heart? My heart was agitated, when both my eyes did not see that face. My mind was in a directionless mess, when I didn't hear his voice. My body feels frozen, if a day I don't look at a cheerful face. The sound of a cry that spoiledly called my name. It was as if fresh water was soothing to my heart and soul. Cheerful girl full of laughter. The SMU girl who always made me smile in the coldness of my heart. The girl who made me feel valued and valued. His care makes me feel cared for. His aggression made me a lucky man. Every mischief makes me happy. His attitude made me smile.

Sweet girl who has beauty face and heart. The reason my heart is adrift and cannot turn away. The girl who made me feel happy. Someone I don't want to betray. I was willing to close both my eyes. So that no other girl would disturb my heart. His simplicity and innocence seemed to hypnotize my mind. Davina Nur Latifah, spoiled girl best friend mom's daughter. A friend who started to tease my mind and soul. Heart choice in faith and belief. Someone who made me believe he was the one who was created and the best for me. Someone I hoped would be the perfector of my faith.

Davina's the girl I had in every dream. Davina's a simple name that's in my prostration and prayer. The person I will make the world my hereafter. The girl who made me steady wanted to have it. Will not be able to my heart, if you see him with other men. I won't be able to stand. If it wasn't my hand that he held. I'll never be able to. When he belongs to someone else. But if my race is unrequited. For the sake of happiness I will be happy.

With confidence and fear of loss. Decades ago, I ventured to see Diana's mother and aunt. I hope my honesty will make you the mama mama makmum of my afterlife. Although I know, my age and ability cannot yet be a priest. But my love and my love made me blind. The belief in love is so great. Trust is only Davina the soul mate I've been waiting for. It made me dare to make a decision. I'm heartened to meet my mother and aunt Diana. The feeling that is in my heart, as if I can no longer contain. I'll say everything. So that my race is not wrong and remains holy.

That night was exactly the day before my decision to leave the city. It just so happened that evening mama and aunt Diana were talking in the living room. I met them with such great expectations. A young man who has not been able to take care of himself. But think of taking care of other people's children. Love makes me brave and brave. I walked slowly closer to mama and aunt Diana. Even though they will refuse, I will still say it. One belief that night. Telling a feeling held tight in my heart. To get the blessing of the people I love the most.

But my steps came to a halt, right next to the middle room wall. I heard the laughter of mama and aunt Diana. Such a great happiness. A laugh is created, when the match between Fathan and Davina is created. The hope of two mothers, who want the happiness of their two sons and daughters. A small desire of friendship that hopes to turn into brotherhood. I heard my mother's hope. A wish that shattered my dreams. The hope that awakened me, that my love dream had run aground. It wasn't me holding Davina's hand. Mama gave Davina's hand to my sister. Fathan, my brother who was later chosen to marry the girl of my dreams.

I'm mad at Mama, why did she have to match Fathan to Davina? I exist as his other son. I hate my mom, she forgets me. Mama set myself aside and put Fathan first. Mama thinks Fathan is better than me. That night, my mom hurt me the most. Mama, the person I love, instantly became the person I hated. Mama ruined my love and dreams in one word. Marriage, not me with Davina. But Fathan and Davina's matchmaking shattered my love's hopes and dreams.

My heart was instantly broken without a trace. Mama's laughter at that time, like salt water that doused my wounds. It feels painful and unbearable. My chest felt tight, my courage disappeared. No more dreams in my mind. No more love for my hijab girl. All ruined overnight, I'm slumped and useless. The night I realized? I'm nobody compared to Fathan? He's so much more everything than me. Fathan is more established and mature than me. A young man without hopes and dreams. The young man who is still looking for himself. Without looking and thinking about the future. But thought to make Davina makmum the world of the afterlife. A desire without real certainty. I feel blind to want to have. But my eyes are wide open. I'm just a weak young man who was never considered.

A moment after I heard my mother's words about Fathan and Davina's match. I ran as hard as I could. I went through the darkness of the night. Silent and lonely night as if my heart were dark without the light of love. The love of the two most important women in my life. A love that I wanted to hold, but disappeared from my grasp. It was not my hand that was chosen, but Fathan's hand that was entitled to theirs. Mama and Davina's hands were moving away from me. Their love is not for me, but the love created only for Fathan. I felt alone on a lonely night. I was weak without support, when I found out that I was worthless. My heartfelt love would be meaningless without my mother's blessing. I lost before the war. My love was destroyed for a moment without rest.

The swift rain that night, as if adding to the perfection of my heart's wounds. Rain water falling down hard. It was as if I wanted to heal my tears that flowed without being able to stop. The sound of the sky rumbling, like the sound of my screaming heart felt an unbearable pain. I cried in the rain. I screamed in pain along with the roar of the sound of the sky. The most painful night of my life. A night that will never be forgotten in my entire life. The night my heart was broken was not left.

I ran and ran, my legs not feeling tired. I broke through the rain that night. I was dark and quiet that night. No more fear, because the biggest fear of my life has happened. Lost Davina and let go of her hand, for my brother Fathan. A taste I must forget for the happiness of mama and aunt Diana. My heart felt cold and frozen. It was as cold as the night wind that pierced through my bones. Rain is like ice that freezes my heart and soul. There is no more warmth in my heart. There are only wounds and bitterness. Love that feels beautiful, like a thousand thorns that pierced my heart. No more smiles or happiness. It all ended with my tears.

Right in front of the door, I heard a cry. My heart was filled with the sound of crying from inside the house. I opened the door of the house a little rickety. I pushed the door slowly. I spread my eyes across the whole house. I saw a house that was unattached, no furniture. There are only shabby mats as the bedding of the homeowner. All are far from worthy. Only limitations that seem real.

As soon as I fell, I not only failed to become a priest. But the reality I see. As if to say I am nothing more than a man without gratitude. I never felt grateful for the luxuries I felt. While in front of my eyes, I saw the family sleeping only with a shabby mat. A mat I'm gonna throw in the trash. I'm ashamed of my useless self. I saw a family embracing each other in the most difficult of conditions. Instead, I always ignore the love of my parents and brothers. I acted cold, without caring about their feelings. Without me noticing, my mom and dad were hurt by my cold attitude. The sound of crying that I heard reminded me of my mother's crying. He cried when he saw me sick. Mama is awake to take care of me, no longer caring about her health. But that night, I was angry and hated him. Like my mom was the worst person to me. Mama is the most valuable person in my life. A mother who loved me more than her life. I was ashamed to disappoint my mother. I felt sick, when mom asked Davina for Fathan. All my life, my mother never asked for anything. He gave without thinking of asking me. I have received a lot of love from my mother. Why give up one love like I can't?

Long time ago I understood what I saw? I realized when I heard the screams of a child. I ran over to the thin body of the middle-aged man. I saw him in pain, without thinking I was holding him. I ran to the nearest hospital. But not the treatment he received, but rejection just because he was poor. I was stunned to see such a frightening reality. A patient is rejected simply, because of social status. I feel stupid and useless. I just kept quiet to see a nurse insulting the old man. Without being able to do anything? The second time I woke up. If I were a nobody without my parents' property? Facts that opened my eyes. Reminds me that my mother's sacrifice was huge for me. It would be inappropriate if I refused to sacrifice for him.

I feel stupid, when I cry and get angry at the written path. But I never realized. The luxury I felt, far above this old man. I just felt a little pain, but I consider Allah SWT unfair to me. Though this old man must feel insults and insults throughout his life. Even when he died, not the help he received but the insults he had to hear.

The night I was hurt and devastated? The same night I felt reborn. I make the wounds of my heart my spirit. I made my tears my weapon. I promise I will no longer mourn the love that was not made for me. My encounter with the family made me determined to be a healing doctor. It is not the doctor who will distinguish.

I decided to go find myself. Forgetting the love that ever existed. Not to blame mama, because it's not my fault you chose Fathan. Because Fathan is so much better than me. He is mature and has a definite purpose in life. I walked away with hope. I will never be part of that match. But hope remains hope. I'm still a part of this matchmaking night. After years, that feeling remained. But not a sense of wanting to have, but a sense of wanting to protect. Anyone else holding his hand? I am the first to pray for their happiness. I will not be angry or hurt, because of true happiness. There are times when we see our loved ones happy.

THE FAIQ POV END

"Coffee!" greeting Annisa while putting on a smile, Faiq turned his head with a look of surprise. Annisa stood up while carrying a cup of coffee.

"Thank you!" said Faiq lirih, shortly after receiving coffee from Annisa. Faiq sipped his coffee slowly. Annisa was sitting next to Faiq. Both are in the hospital garden. The hospital atmosphere is still very quiet. Faiq came to the hospital. He came when there was an emergency call. Even since last night Faiq has not slept. He sat in the garden deliberately wanting to calm his mind.

"Doctor Faiq, I want to ask you something. Sorry if this is personal. But honestly I really want to know. I wonder, why are you keeping quiet? At least you didn't fight for Davina. Although you know, if Fathan will be betrothed to Davina. The woman you love so much. Does your heart not hurt? If you see Davina with another man!" annisa said, Faiq remained silent. Then he took a deep breath and kept it slow.

"I love him, even after all these years I've stayed away. My heart not only hurts, but it breaks when I see it with other men. But my silence is not my fear or my weakness. But I'm silent about how to love him. I love him, without wishing I had him. I love her, without fear of losing her. For he is always in my heart, accompanying me every step of the way. He's not the stuff I fought over. Because he is more valuable than myself. He doesn't need to be fought, because my race is sincere without hoping to be with him. I appreciate it with all my heart. For it is only with brother Fathan that I entrust him!" said Faiq, Annisa nodded in understanding. He tries to understand the way Faiq loves Davina.

"But I want you to fight!"