An Overdose of Love
Saving people.
When life begins to be fragile, life will be a bet to end it all. No more words can be said when this self really has been devising will be plunging themselves. My eyes were closed, with breath breathing as much air as possible in order to release all the tightness of the chest that had been held for a long time. The hand was already stretched out wide, to try to grasp the wind one last time.
"SORRY," One word that comes out of my mouth when the seconds are ready will slide down.
The legs are already dangling ready to jump immediately.
"STOP IT! What are you doing?" shouted someone who was now holding my hand, who was already about to fall ready to touch the water.
"Take me off, let go!" I cried bitterly.
"Aaaah, don't be so rash. I will never let go of this hand" said the man who was trying his hardest to hold my hand on the left.
The body has been swaying dangling want to fall immediately, but unfortunately can not.
"I beg you, sir. Let me just die!" i beg.
"No way, son!" he said with a mringis face of distress, as a result of holding my weight.
"Take me off, sir!" doors again.
"Aaah .. Come here, cepaaat. Lift up your body following the pull of my hand" he said trying to save me.
Only strong headbands can I do now, for I do not want fathers to hold my hand to help my life.
"I beg you, sir. I beg ... I beg you, just let me die. So don't save me. Let go of this hand" I asked again as the body was being pulled up more and more, by the man who was trying to save me.
"You don't have to ask much. Haaaah .. heeeh, come .. come naaaaiiiiik. A little more of this, so that you may be saved," said the father, exhausted while still busy trying to save my life.
The eyes can now only see amazement, when the fathers who want to help have been overwhelmed pulled my body. Netra did not escape also looked down at the river that was still flowing with water, where over time the water had been far from the collapse of my body due to the pull of people who wanted to save.
"Bism, heeeh .. heeeh! Alhamdulillah .. heeeh, finally survived too," said he was exhausted with bad breath, because it had managed to pull my body up again.
The body has already fallen. This self can only cry bitterly with sobbing, because it does not die. I put my head up trying to find an answer to fate what else is happening to me now.
"Haaaah .. aaaa'aaa!" I screamed loudly with a cry that became more and more so.
"Neng .. neng, already ... already, you don't cry that much anymore. It is not good to weep for the fate that has been determined by God, that you are still given the opportunity to live in this world. Don't regret everything that happened that you didn't die. Calm yourself, take a slow, deep breath to calm down" said the father who helped me.
The rain that had been heavy had fallen, was now immediately stopped as well. But both of our clothes have been soaked due to the splashing that had not stopped.
"But sir. Dad shouldn't have helped me. My burden is so heavy, that I will bear now! So I won't be able to do it later and now just let me die" I said, now standing up again, trying to walk to the bridge to kill myself again.
"Wait .. wait, neng. Don't do it, please!" prevent him from blocking my hand so he doesn't jump to suicide again.
"Quiet ... Calm down, neng. Don't be so rash. There is no problem that cannot be solved, all must be done with patience so that we can pass the storm of testing from God. Neng don't be discouraged so, there is a father who will be ready to help you, ok. Then calm your mind first, and you can follow the father back home now, so that your mind is clearer, how?" asked him with the nature of trying to calm me down.
"But sir--?" answered doubt.
"Come neng. You're not a bad guy, you are! Come to my house, not far just near this river. Come with father!" bargain he ordered.
"But, sir. You don't know me at all, whether I'm a bad person or not. You're obviously not afraid that I'm a bad guy?" I answered trying to subtly refuse.
"Depend all on God. You are very sure that you are a good person, because in your heart you say that you look friendly and honest" he replied confidently towards me.
"But, sir!" answered doubt.
"Come neng, jagan is afraid of the father. You seem to have been shivering once, come with me first. If you have changed clothes, neng can continue what steps are taken next including suicide," he said kindly while smiling.
"Alright, sir!" my answer was weak according to the orders of the fathers I had just met.
The steps slowly accompanied from behind father Yan had helped me just now. The hand from earlier can only cross over the stomach, over the cold body that has been exposed to rain water for too long. Eyes continued to glance at the left right trying to see small houses but it looked peaceful, unlike the hustle and bustle of the city that had become my residence.
"Well, neng. We have reached my father's house. Let's get in!" his orders told.
"Hemm," answered my wry smile from cold shivering, as my eyes tried to look at the house whose building was small but clean enough.
"Assynnya!" say hello father who does not know his name, is trying to enter his own house.
"Walaikumsalam," answered the voice of the woman from inside his house.
"Eeh, you're home. You're okay, right, through the rain? I'm sorry sir, I didn't prepare a raincoat before you left," a middle-aged woman greeted the father who helped me.
"No pa-pa, ma'am."
"Oh yeah. Come here neng, enter the father's house," he bargained.
Just a look of wonder that I can do now, which is when the netra has tried to explore the scenery around the house.
"Who's this neng, sir?" ask the woman who may be his wife.
"Later tell me. What is important now is to invite this neng into the house first. Poor him, look! His clothes had been soaked once, it must have been very cold" said the father gave a statement to his wife.
"Oh yes .. yes, sir. Mari neng, come here! Mother will give you a change of clothes, so that you do not get cold again," said his wife kindly, while deftly pulling my hand immediately.
"Here's the neng .. here!" take the mother directly into the house.
The legs can only run slowly when the mother who has a home still wants to tell her to follow her steps.
"You wait there. I'll get you clothes that fit your body, wait!" he said he was friendly.
I can only be silent without many words from just now, who tried to stare around exploring the corner after corner of the house of the person who was kind to me.
"It's neng, put it on. Surely this fits in your body," he said thrusting a red shirt with a short skirt below the knee.
"Thank you, ma'am."
"Yes, equally. Yes, I have, then. I stayed while you changed clothes. Oh yes, if there is anything you can call mom and dad," he explained.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, quickly change clothes first, because later you will be sick from the wet clothes," he told before really leaving this room.
"Yes, mom. Thanks," I replied.
"Heeem," his friendly smile.
Immediately I changed into this wet dress. The wet clothes have been removed, so that the used droplets exposed to rain do not pollute the floor of this house. Feeling rather calm, I now sit on a narrow bed with a dreamy face, when the shadows of suicide have come to poison my brain again.
"O Allah, was my action wrong, that You saved my life by the intercession of others? But, can I live this life while I have no one else? Oh my God, give your help so that I can get through these difficult times, when there are no more people supporting me" I murmured in my heart with tears returning to the river again.
Tok .. tok .. tok, the door of the room was suddenly knocked on by someone. Instantly I stopped crying and tried to remove it when the melted tears had fallen on my cheeks.
Ceklek, the door is open.
"You're so quick to change clothes, neng!" say the mother.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Why you?" he asked while stroking my still wet hair, which he seemed to know of this hardness of heart.
"Aren't I pa-pa, ma'am?" answer lied.
"Yes, if you don't want a story. What's clear now, come with mom ahead. We'll eat with my dad in the kitchen" he asked.
"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm not hungry" I refused to speak softly.
"Don't be so daring. Even if you're not hungry or thinking a lot, the scar should still be filled in order to restore energy," he said.
"But, ma'am."
"No buts, let's join us to eat together" he asked.
"Heeh .. well ma'am, if you insist," My resignation says.
"Naaah, that's dong from earlier."
Finally the three of us ate together in a kitchen with a dining table and some simple equipment. Their life is quite simple there are no luxury items, but I like this atmosphere because it is clean and avoid the hustle and bustle of the city.