An Overdose of Love
Family grief
I can just put my face on the pillow. The body and feeling so tired, it makes me want to immediately spill and shed tears.
"Why can I do this? I'm sorry Karin. When this stupid attitude of mine has hurt and tortured you. Are you okay now? Where are you now, deck? Go back home, so that I can atone for these sins immediately, return ... return Karin," my murmur in heart asked sadly.
Though from the beginning in the dictionary of my life there is never a word to cry, just because of the affairs of love and life. To me crying will only make myself weaker and weaker. But when I had foolishly hurt Karin, now the tears are getting more and more rushing.
In fact, this time I was so full of tears, so that this heart felt relieved and plong to try to solve the problem. The matter that was revealed a few minutes ago, made this self feel so slapped. My mind is now struggling hard to imagine if Karin was not found immediately, what is the fate of her life now. Her heart will always be hard hit to bear the problem alone, when I am not at her side, which is when she is hit over her pregnancy.
My energy was now feeling drained, as crying spilled out all the tight emotions in my chest. All feelings of annoyance that clot in the heart, can be released without clogging the heart that begins to be fragile. The feeling was a little more unraveled and not tangled like the time just happened due to shedding cries.
"I have to find you, Karin. Yes, I have to find you, no matter how. I will be responsible for my carelessness that night. I'm not gonna let you face that pregnancy problem alone. Wait Karin, I will definitely find you soon," I said in a heart full of confidence.
I now prefer to open the phone, to surf see the number of my friends and Karin, who knows if there are people who are riding to sleep. One by one I sent them messages and tried to contact them, but the answer was always either Karin in their place.
In my mind now there is only one, which is to be able to find Karin immediately and bring her home. Sick cheeks I no longer care for the taste, because the most important thing now can find Karin who has been home all day.
The desperation of calling here and there made me not run out of sense to keep looking for him. The body is trying to get out of bed. Hitampun jacket has been attached to the body, with the head has been covered by a motorcycle helmet to quickly slide from one place to another that is the home of friends Karin. Because I'm sure once in the phone they could have lied, until I now have to prove with my own eyes whether Karin exists or not.
The night is getting closer and closer, with the silence of the highway that is increasingly quiet not many vehicles passing. Home by house I've been to, but still Karin I can't find.
Ceklek, the door of the house has been opened.
"Where are you, Adrian? These nights just come home?" ask the father who is now standing looking agitated.
"So to Karin's friend's house to try to find her, was she there!" weak answer.
"Heeeh, it's good that if you make an effort to look for it, you don't forget your responsibility, son!" said papa patting my shoulder softly.
"Yes, pa. Adrian will definitely remain in charge of what befell Karin," I replied weakly while bowing my head.
"What about your wounds? I'm sorry that you hit you earlier. Papa was so solemn to do that, due to the intense emotions when it has mastered the soul, which is when you know there is no sense of responsibility to Karin," said soft papa there is a sense of regret against me.
"Yes, pa. Adrian can understand that. I deserved the beating, which Adrian should have had more punishment than that, for what I did to Karin" I said regretfully.
"You're young, so mistakes are common. But if you can correct the mistake, so that one day you will not regret it. Remember, an action that is not immediately corrected or apologized, there must be a reciprocal punishment that can be said is karma, he said, therefore we must immediately apologize to Karin and fix everything" said papa's advice.
"Yes, pa. You're right."
"Papa was very afraid if something happened to Karin, who remembered she had made a suicide attempt, so we have to move quickly to find her. But papa bangtung should start where to look for him, while he has no kinsmen who are used as protection for him," confounded papa said.
"That's right, pa. What you said about us finding him, there must be a lot of obstacles we will find Karin. Adrian is really very sorry because he was too late to be sensitive to what happened to Karin. He is now so tormenting my heart with worry and regret," I lamented in confusion.
"You're patient, Adrian. Papa's sure we'll find Karin as soon as possible and hopefully he'll be fine" Papa said, trying to calm me down.
"Oh yeah, you just meet mama now. It looks like mom is so shocked and does not accept this problem. You bring food too, because papa took mama to the grave last night he did not want. Papa now has a job to contact the men to find Karin, so you take care of mama for a moment" he told her.
"All right, pa."
Now I am busy with activities to take food in the kitchen. One by one the side dishes were neatly lined up on the tray, which I was ready to give to my mom.
Tok .. tok, mama's bedroom door.
Ceklek, he opened the door without waiting for an answer from within.
"Mama ... mama, let's eat!" call slowly.
Mama just kept quiet did not respond to my call, by sleeping on my back to my body which was busy holding a tray.
"Ma .. mama, let's eat ma!" take me again.
Bruk .. prang, suddenly my mother has turned down my tray, until now the food has been scattered on the floor. I was also shocked at my mother's treatment. His eyes now turned completely sharp as they were unhappy and angry with me.
"Pargi you from here. I don't want to see or hear your voice," cried mama expel with a tone full of emotion.
"But, ma. What's my fault now?" ask me with stupid.
"What's your fault? You don't go crazy, Adrian. There is no way your memory will just disappear, after the act of not son*n*h you have destroyed your brother Karin. I hate and am disappointed in you. I want you to make your brother happy by loving him, not destroying his life" she lamented.
"That Adrian problem is really sorry and will fix everything, so you have to understand it" I replied with my head down.
"Heeh, understand? It's not that easy as Adrian. Mama will forgive you if you can find Karin, okay!" babble mama who doesn't seem to consider me her son anymore.
"But, ma. I'm your son too" I complained.
"You're my son, but I don't like children who have upset my heart too much. You know Adrian, although Karin is not my son, but she is my own son. So mama asked for help to find my son," pinta mama who is now crying sobbing hugged my hand.
"Yes ma. Adrian promised to bring Karin home and make her happy" answered me, who now embraced him.
"What's this, Adrian?" ask papa when entering your room, who may be surprised at our behavior and see food scattered.
"This, pa. Still the same thing Karin!" I still hugged my mom.
"You are patient about this matter. We are sure that we will soon find Karin and return to this house," said papa won us by stroking our shoulders slowly.
The three of us were swept away in an atmosphere of sadness, which was still not willing if Karin had just left. Can't say anything else but we keep trying to find Karin patiently.
"I promise, ma. Will bring your favorite child home again, but maybe with a different status, hopefully it will happen. But where am I supposed to go, Karin? Just hope you don't do stupid suicides again, so I can have you forever!" the promised heart.