My Love My Pain
New commitment

Airin woke up bad luck with a crumbling body. There's nothing Airin wants other than a warm bath. At least the stitches can also disappear later.

Still in pajamas Airin came down to ask the butler to prepare water for him to soak. At the dinner table Airin heard a small laugh. Sela, she's been better.

"Morning," said Airin flatly.

Yeah, Airin saw Sela and Arja joking. They seem happy with what they do.

"Where's the butler?" airin asked the waiter who was preparing breakfast.

"She's in Sela's room."

Heard that answer from Arja. Airin rushed away without a word or anything. You have to learn from the past. If Airin can't have her love, at least no one can have that love.

"Didn't you want breakfast?" ask Sela.

"I'm full to see you guys kidding."

Finally Airin met the butler on the stairs. He'll be ready to come down with a lot of stuff.

"Prepare water for me to soak in" Airin said to the butler.

"But, Mistress..."

"Put all that down and get me some water to soak in. I don't want any excuses" Airin said loudly.

The butler put all the things he brought. Including Sela's clothes to be washed. Airin went back into the room and looked at her phone. Vino, he's back on Airin after a long time.

Can we go to Grandma's tomb together? We haven't met for a long time.

That's the message Airin sent to Vino. At least Airin still has friends, although Vino does not consider him a friend now.

Airin put his phone back on the table. Airin sat down with a small blanket coiled around her body. His eyes glare far away, if Airin remains the Airin he once was. His fate will not change. Airin will be back in bed and hurt. Now Airin will be another woman, a woman who will stand up for her rights as a wife.

"What are you doing?" snapped Arja as soon as she entered the room.

Airin looked up and smiled.

"Why is my husband this early angry. Shouldn't have gone to work as usual."

"You, you made Sela cry. He's hurt by your words."

Airin took the bag and also the suit. Airin gave it to Arja who kept saying that Sela was hurt because of her words. Airin put the bag in Arja's hand.

"Did you ever defend me when I was hurt? in the past, I even lost my son-in-law because you were defending another woman."

Arja hush. He clasped Airin's hand very tightly, rather he clutched Airin's hand in annoyance.

"I've been letting you be angry all night. Now you turned into a bad woman just last night" Arja told Airin.

"Take my hand off. Remember, I don't want to be hurt and back. I still have a heart. Understood?"

Arja finally let go of Airin's hand. He came back like that time. Maybe he needs that sedative again. Airin took it and put it in Arja's hand.

"Arja. You're not sick, strengthen yourself if you're a man."

Tok to tok.

"Madam, the water is ready."

"Yes." Yeah."

Airin looked at Arja. There is a fear of loss and a fear of Arja being exposed to nothing. Only, Airin must have a commitment in him. Airin should not be weak again just because he sees Arja like this.

Cup. Airin kissed Arja's left cheek and walked out of the room. I don't know what Arja is thinking right now. At least he wouldn't be taking that sedative right now.

***

Almost an hour Airin soaked with warm water accompanied by music that melodious. Not knowing why, Airin had another spirit in him.

After you finish changing clothes. Airin intends to make a small meal. Airin missed breakfast. Now his stomach is asking for rations to fill.

"Madam, Miss Sela wants to meet," said the butler as Airin was making a vegetable omelette.

"Send him to wait. I need to eat too."

"Okay, Madam."

"Ri."

Sela stood with a bandage still coiled around her head. He still looks limp and pale. It's not like it was this morning that the spirit joked with Arja.

"What's? do you need anything?" Send the plate to the table.

"Sorry."

"For?"

Sela's confused. He played his finger on the shirt. Airin pulled his hand to sit down and not stand up.

"Say, what's wrong?"

"You're mad at me, right? yeah, you're obviously angry. You've been so kind to me, and I've betrayed you."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't blame Arja, Rin. It's all my fault when you're not home. I always tease her."

What Airin heard made him shake in disbelief. Sela is not that kind of woman. Then why could he say that in front of him. She also confesses her feelings for Airin's husband.

"Yes. I know this feeling is wrong, I shouldn't have this feeling. However, while on Arja's side, I felt calm and envious of you."

"Go from here now," Airin said without looking at Sela.

"Rin. I'm sorry, Arja doesn't know about this feeling. I'll keep all this in, please don't throw me out" Sela said on her knees in front of Airin.

"I said get out of here right now."

"Rin, please Rin."

Airin turned to Sela who was still kneeling. A tearful divorce accompanied the words of regret from his lips.

"I've been too kind to you until you used me. Go, this is your mother's address. He'd hate you so much if he knew this."

Airin throws a paper containing aunty's address at Sela. After that, Airin entered the room and locked it tightly. Airin fell down with tears that could not be contained anymore.

Why is his fate always like this. Someone comes close and betrays you. Airin did not know why his path of destiny was like this. Now, Airin must really be someone else.

The compassion and sympathy in his heart had to diminish. He could not be constantly taken advantage of and hurt. He must be able to change.

Sela could only wipe away her tears. He brought a suitcase and a bag out of Airin's house. Airin doesn't know the truth. Airin does not yet know who the real usurper is. He or Sela.

***

His eyes look so puffy. How Airin will meet Arja. He definitely did not like to see Airin in this state.

Airin called Cika. Yes, Airin has sent messages to him several times. Airin asked him to come and help her. Airin also undoes her intention to go with Vino to grandmother's grave.

"What's going on?" cika asked as soon as she saw Airin with her eyes moist.

"Get in first," said Airin.

Inside Airin's room told me everything. He had no idea if Cika could keep this secret or not. Clearly, this time Airin needed a listener to fill my heart.

"Then, what do you want?"

"I want to be like you" Airin said innocently.

"You mean?"

"You are beautiful and reliable. You are also a businessman. At least teach me to be an elegant woman. I'm sure, after I change. Arja won't look at another woman."

Cika looked on Airin. Airin knew his destiny was pretty bad.

"Well, from tomorrow you can come with me anywhere. Be my personal assistant, I promise I'll make Arja really fall in love with you."

"Thank you."

Cika nodded, then hugged the Airindengan tightly. He's trying to strengthen Airin.

***