My Love My Pain
A new beginning

Airin POVs

Finally Airin was able to breathe. Almost the plane he was on did not reach the airport. His mind was mixed earlier.

The atmosphere of the airport is quite crowded and makes Airin's head dizzy. Airin also chose to sit for a while in the chair while waiting for Cika. He promises to pick up Airin to take her to the apartment.

The apartment that Vino gave Airin. Airin still keeps it because Vino doesn't accept if Airin returns it. If there wasn't this apartment, I don't know where Airin would live.

"I'm so tired of smearing you. Here, drink first," said Cika who came and immediately thrust a drink on Airin.

Airin took the mineral water and immediately drank it. At least this water is very refreshing.

"You know what not? jay and I are together. We chose the right commitment, right?" ask Cika. He said very happily.

Airin's hand patted her on the shoulder quite firmly, "Why is it so fast and just telling me?"

"You're hard to contact."

"really?"

They chose to go to the car. Airin was eager to take a break after this trip. Tomorrow Airin must prepare energy for his heart and soul.

Very cheerfully, Cika still said about herself and Jay. First love. It was clear if Cika immediately forgot her sports sense in men at that time.

***

The apartment looks very dirty. Full of dust, fortunately all the furniture is still covered with cloth. If not, it will be very difficult to clean it.

Airin prepares to clean the apartment, but Cika chooses to call the cleaning officer.

"I don't have as much money as you do" Airin told Cika.

Airin disagreed. Now Airin only has some money in his savings and that's not much. Airin also has to find a job so she can support herself.

"I'll pay for everything."

Airin and Cika turned to look at the sound. Vino, since when was he there. She had been listening to Airin and Cika talk. If so, Airin felt more guilty.

"It just so happens you're here. You can accompany Airin, right? I have a sudden meeting" said Cika with a sly smile at Airin.

"I can do it myself" said Airin.

"I go first. Be fine, both of you," said Cika and immediately left.

Now there are only Airin and Vino. They were silent with this strange atmosphere. As soon as Vino loves Airin until he follows Airin home. What Airin has to do, what Airin has to accept.

If Airin accepts it at a time like this. Everything's gonna look weird. He would have thought that Airin was just using it. Not because of love, we are still good friends to this day.

"Want to have some tea downstairs?" tawar Vino who broke the silence.

"OK."

They walk in tandem. It's so awkward, why does Airin feel like this. Damn again, why Airin even remembered with Arja at this time. His heart was so stupid, why did Airin not choose Vino alone. Airin was hoping for Arja the crazy guy. Damn damn shit.

"What do you want to order?"

"You know what I want" Airin told Vino.

Vino nodded and smiled. He ordered mini blueberry pie and fresh green tea for Airin. Why does he always remember about Airin and keeps making Airin smile.

Oh God, let this heart turn to Vino. Let this heart leave a man who has betrayed me. Think Airin.

"Eat this." Vino offered the food he ordered to Airin.

Back they just kept quiet. Airin once said that Airin needed time to answer his question.

"Rin. Let's forget what I said. I don't want our relationship to be this weird."

"Ba..alright."

Now Airin felt calmer after Vino said it. Airin did not feel awkward because of his love statement. Now, Airin has his friend back.

***

Vino still wants to be friends with Airin to this day. In fact, Airin had rejected his love several times. Yes, his heart had been swayed only because of Arja and Vino. There was no other man in his life.

"If necessary you can change the password of this apartment," Vino said as he helped Airin bring the suitcase in.

"no need. It's yours too, I'll just borrow."

"You're still the same. I told you that all the gospels are yours. Don't be shy."

Airin just laughed a little.

"Who did you come home with?" ask Vino.

"Mika. He's picking me up. Then why are you also in this city. Poor aunt, she must be feeling lonely."

Vino smiled, "Mama told me to follow you. She's afraid, if anything happens to you."

"Auntie hasn't changed. He still thinks I'm a kid."

Vino ruffled Airin's hair and laughed. They laugh together. Like before, when they did not know what love is and what life is.

After helping her pack things. Vino says goodbye to return to his apartment. They are one apartment, just different floors. Airin on the third floor while Vino on the second floor.

"I'll go home first. Will we see each other again tonight?" ask Vino.

"Sorry," said Airin regretfully, "maybe I will rest in the room. Tomorrow morning we can have breakfast together" Airin said later.

"alright. Have a break."

"Thank you for helping me."

Airin returned Vino's hand. He looks funny this time.

***

The silent night. Airin sat on the balcony with a cup of tea and a book in his hand. Despite the book, Airin did not read it. His mind was still drifting far away somewhere.

Airin thought about her own feelings. Why Airin should love the wrong man. Supposedly, Airin should not get caught up in this kind of love. I don't know how much love Airin clearly oscillates in his feelings.

"Lord, please make me fall in love with the right person."

His body was leaned against the chair. Airin stared at the clear sky with stars and moon. Even Airin did not see the slightest cloud blocking the starlight and the moon. It was beautiful, unlike his current feelings.

Tok to tok. A knock on the door made this lazy Airin move from sitting down. With a warm blanket attached to Airin's body. Airin opened the door.

"Night, Rin," said Vino with a smile.

"Night. What's up Vin?"

"I just wanted to say good night. Here," Vino thrust out a package, "you must not have eaten. I bought you fried rice."

Airin laughs. How can a Vino know Airin hasn't eaten. Airin had no intention of eating. Now, Airin had to force himself to eat.

"Why laugh?" asked Vino with a confused look.

"It's okay. I'm glad you brought me dinner."

Airin's hand will receive the package. Vino's hand was still there making Airin confused. Then, with a gentle pull. Cup, a kiss landed on Airin's forehead.

Bummer. Airin looked towards Vino. He had already removed his hand from the package. Of course the package has moved to Airin's hand. Only, Airin was dazed by what Vino was doing.

"I'll go first."

Vino just left. Letting Airin be quiet with what he was doing. The heart is like this. Airin tried to regulate his breathing repeatedly. The result remained the same, his heart beating very hard.

***