Healing
11. Insecure

" Bian sister, may Shaka invite you and papa to eat at the restaurant, Bian?, yesterday at school graduation, during school graduation, Kak Raya promises that Shaka can be the first champion Kak Raya to invite us to eat outside, only Kak Raya has not been able to have a work holiday until today, because of that Shaka thought it might be better to eat at work Kak Raya alone, so no need to wait for her holiday".

Bian whose intention was just to drive me home and not stop by finally had to stop for a moment and get out of his car because when Bian's car stopped and I got out of that car, I got out of that car, Shaka who was playing around with his friends immediately ran towards the car we were riding in.

Shaka accidentally knocks on the windshield so that Bian does not rush to leave.

" Saka, you are how the hell, can not disturb Kak Bian, he was tired of just finishing work, and had to go home for a break, tomorrow Kak Raya holiday really, tomorrow Friday, so tomorrow my sister will make a promise to take you and your mom out to eat".

I didn't know if Shaka was going to say something like that to Bian, just now when I saw Shaka running towards my car I thought Shaka just wanted to get to me. I feel bad for Bian.

Bian seemed to lean his body into the car, it seemed like he was very tired because all day he had to intervene to help us serve guests and restaurant visitors who were endless.

Until now there are still many guests and restaurant visitors, only for the night shift there are other employees on duty, and Bian often departs on the shift where I get the ration to leave. I don't know what the reason might be for him to have a chatmate at the restaurant.

" So Shaka can rank first after graduation yesterday?, which is great, when once brother Raya mediocre, not really cool-pinter, he likes even nyontek PR same brother Bian".

" Shaka can come to Kak Bian's restaurant, later Kak Bian gives the most delicious special menu at the sister's restaurant, free of charge. What if the time is tomorrow as Kak Raya said earlier?".

I saw Shaka nodding in agreement. " Okay, then, Brother Bian promised Shaka that he would like to give you the best menu tomorrow, free !". Again Shaka acted as if he was very familiar with Bian.

" Yes, Brother Bian promised, as a gift from Brother Bian because Shaka has become the class champion, see you tomorrow at the sister's restaurant, now you go home first".

Bian got back in his car and drove his car away leaving me and Shaka still standing on the side of the highway.

" Shaka really, who taught Shaka to behave like that, it's not good that Shaka behaves so with other people. Shaka can ask Kak Raya or the same mama and papa".

" Bian's brother is just a big brother's friend, and Shaka should be able to take care of Shaka's attitude when talking to other people".

Finally along the way to the house I continued to lecture Shaka who was being impolite and too pretentious with Bian. Bian is not our relative or brother. I don't want Shaka to be too close to others, just worried that Shaka will depend on others. Because I want to shape Shaka into an independent and simple person.

" Kak Raya just relax dong, do not overdo it, right Shaka did not ask for anything, Brother Bian who took the initiative to give a gift. In fact, if you can free a good meal at a famous restaurant is quite decent, the money that should kak Raya spend so it can be saved, buy Shaka new shoes, hehehehe", Shaka immediately ran into the house after daring to answer a lecture from me.

Yes.. indeed his attitude to me as well as a sister to his brother, it's because Shaka yunya I'm his brother, just like Juna who is considered a sister by him, not as his uncle.

I can only breathe deeply, this body is tired after a long day of work, and I am lazy to serve Shaka who is now very good at debating what I say.

Sometimes I think, Shaka has grown up and the longer his face looks more like his father, is it possible that Yoga will recognize him when they accidentally meet on the street. I don't know...

For 12 years we have never met, maybe Yoga has become a successful person and maybe also have a family. Although we lived only different sub-districts, but I never saw him again. Maybe because I was busy working and our different worlds made me and him never meet, even if only in a mere coincidence.

Moreover, I heard from one of my friends who knew Yoga, his family moved when Yoga was about to enter High School, because his father was transferred to the capital. I heard that Mr. Priyo got a promotion and became a person with a higher rank.

It's good that, at least, my life has become more peaceful without dealing with the family. I am starting to be happy with my current life.

" You guys this is why, every day you have to fight like this, Shaka can not fad kak Raya, pity. he just came home from work, tired again".

" Shaka is not a fad about Ma, Kak Raya is very sensitive, want to come next month ma...".

I heard Shaka scream from his room. Yes, Shaka now sleeps alone in the room that Juna used to live in.

" What did he say?".

Mama asked while sitting next to me who was taking off my sneakers.

" He promised me to eat out, Raya said tomorrow, but Shaka used to tell Bian, so Bian was promised to be given the best menu in his restaurant, free anyway. Kan Raya so more and more feel bad about Bian ma".

I saw my mother smiling at my explanation.

" So you came home with Bian again?, why not be told to stop by the house?"

Mama even became a lot of nanya because she knew I was taking Bian's car again.

" Why ask to stop by, is he just nawarin slapengan go home, yes already Raya come to the big road only, will the car not fit into the small alley that wants to come here. After work, tired, surely Bian wants to rest at his house. So no Raya hagin' to stop by".

" Shaka tuh ma, who had suddenly run to the car, Raya thought only want to chase Raya, uh use chat with Bian everything, use permission to eat at his restaurant".

Mama took the glass that I had the minimum contents to the toilet." Shaka did not ask the same Bian?, he just told you?, if according to his mother Bian who is the same good basis as us".

" Ra... Did Bian ever like you?".

I looked at my mom when she suddenly asked me that.

" It's not that you're overconfident, it's just that after you've met and worked at the same place, you feel that Bian is very considerate of you. The man if it is very attentive usually he has more taste to the girl who is watching".

I just shook my head to hear my mother say. " Bian's good because he's my friend, he's been good for a long time like that, you know for yourself".

" Leg for matters related to men, Raya does not seem to be interested in Ma, let alone the past of the Kingdom that is too complicated, Raya does not want to lie to anyone".

" There are too many secrets we keep, and if I intend to commit to a man, I want him to know all the truth. Raya does not want any secrets with the couple Raya later".

I could see that my mom looked grim right away, like she wanted me to live a normal life like everyone else. It's just whether anyone wants to accept me who is full of these flaws.

My status at KTP is still single, but in fact I already have a son.

I am old enough to get married, 26 years old. Many of my friends are married and have children. Those who can lead a normal life are very lucky. Married at the right age, have a good husband, pregnant and give birth accompanied by their husband and family.

As for me, even to be in a relationship again with another man I was already afraid first, I was worried that if I told the truth about myself, that man would go and dodge me.