Healing
95. Decisionmaking

Why was papa sent to Bian's house?, while Bian said that he was taking his mother to the hospital. Doesn't it feel awkward. Is it true that my marriage will fail as Utari said. What's wrong I tried. I just asked Yoga for help to find Shaka last night.

If Yoga doesn't come home, and cancels her wedding, what's my fault?, I've firmly told her that I don't love her anymore, she said, I told him that Bian was the man who would be my husband. Then if Yoga stays on her stand nullifying her marriage, why is it like they're blaming me. And why should my marriage also be made void?.

I saw a wall clock showing at half 9 a.m. I also fainted for a long time. This time one of the neighbors gave me sweet tea and sponge cake to eat.

" Eat a little, you need to eat so as not to faint again",

Juna received the sweet tea and also the sponge on the tray, and fed me the sponge and the sweet tea.

Should I call Yoga, ask where she is. But soon at 9, my wedding and Bian's will be held in KUA. While I was still at home, papa went to Bian's house, and Bian drove his mother to the hospital. It seems like everything is so messy it's not clear.

" Are we still going to KUA ma?, while papa has not returned. And Bian he was in the hospital, Bian did say he would get to KUA before 9" I asked the mother who had been frowning ever since.

I honestly feel very confused right now. Fortunately, there were not many neighbors and relatives that you asked to come to attend my wedding reception and Bian. So as chaos ensues, not many people are disappointed because their presence is in vain.

" There is no need to go anywhere, stay at home, and ask the decor and tent to take care of everything. The Bian family didn't come here. Bian's mother was hospitalized. And marriage in retreat".

" Send the neighbors who have come to go home, today's wedding will be changed schedule".

Papa's voice answered all my suspicions. Utari actually managed to cancel my wedding today. Though all preparations have finished, just carry out the ijab qobul only. But why it was canceled, of course, the neighbors who were told to go home immediately talked about the incident in my home today.

" Can everything come out, I want to talk alone with Raya".

Papa told everyone to get out of my room, including Mama and Juna. No one dared to refute papa's words, all went straight out as soon as told.

Now it's just me and papa in the room, papa purposely closed the door. And sit on the edge of the bed.

" I'm sorry that papa didn't manage to bring Bian here. Bian is not going anywhere, because his mother is also in good shape. Indeed, he said he had fainted when he got a call from a friend of Bian who told him about your true past. But now Bian's mother is awake. Not taken to the hospital, because their family doctor came to the house".

" Papa was interrogated by the Bian family, they asked him to answer their questions honestly. Bian initially forbade, and told papa to go home, because Bian did not want anyone else to know about your true condition".

" But after you think about it, it might not hurt if you answer their questions just. And papa faced with his father and also Budenya Bian. They both ask the truth of the information that Bian's mother heard from Bian's friend who called. Dad could not answer, afraid of being wrong and not according to the story Bian told his family. That's why I'll leave everything to Bian so he can answer".

" Bian did not have time to answer, but Bian's mother joined and said that Bian's friend could not lie".

Papa said Bian's mother said in front of her father and budenya Bian," Raya did have a child from a forbidden relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Such a woman does not deserve to be a daughter-in-law in our family. All this time we never had a problem where Raya came from, who her parents were, what she graduated from, and what her job was. We also don't care if He comes from an unowned family. But find out if Raya already has children with her ex-boyfriend. We obviously can't accept women like that being part of our family. We apologize profusely if today we are forced to cancel their marriage unilaterally" Bian's mother said.

" That's what Bian's mother said. What can you do if they make a decision. Actually, Bian had rebelled and took papa away, to go to KUA, because Bian said he had promised you, will arrive at KUA before 9, so you keep getting married".

" Sadly his family forbids, even his mother to the point of making a choice for him, Bian will cancel your marriage, it means he is still considered family, or keep marrying you and Bian will be crossed off their family list, even her mother threatened never to see her again if Bian insisted on marrying you".

I just smiled bitterly listening to that long papa story.

" Of course Bian will choose his family, and I agree he made that decision. But why Papa even lied to people saying if the marriage Raya in the retreat, not the marriage Raya canceled, not in the retreat. You should talk honestly, so as not to cause problems again in the future" I said.

" Bian's mother is innocent Pa, he just wants his son to get a good wife. Not a woman with a dark past like Raya. Maybe if Raya was in her position, Raya would also do the same" I said acting as if I was fine. Although I'm actually fragile, and I need a backrest.

I know, papa must have understood that I was fragile at the moment, and almost fell, but Papa let me strengthen myself, so that I could become a strong woman. I told papa to get out of the room, because I wanted to be alone, but he obeyed me and came out of my room, gave me time to be alone, didn't forget to close the door, so that no one would come in.

That's why all this time I have not been married, not because I have not been able to move on from Yoga, rather anticipate chaos as it happens today.

I am a woman with a dark past, and all who know my story must judge me as a dirty and naughty woman. And for those who have a good son like Bian, it would be very disagreeable if until a good young man met a dirty and naughty woman like me.

Maybe I'll never get married in my entire life, where there's a family willing to have a daughter-in-law with a dark past like mine.

Should I just leave this house, start a new page in a new place so that my past does not continue to haunt me, and mess with my life in the present. Toh Shaka had taken Yoga with him, somewhere they both went.

I don't have any responsibilities here, I don't have to survive with my mom and dad because they can definitely move on without me.

Maybe it was precisely my existence here that messed up the peace in the life of mama and papa. I am the one who became because they both became gossip and judged as parents who failed to educate children.

Not to mention my marriage being canceled, surely people will be more happy to talk about my family. Why should I always be the cause of my family to be the talk of others.

Alright, I've made up my mind, I'll say goodbye to mom and dad to get out of this house, I'll open my own business in a new place. Hopefully mom and dad agree, with the money given Yoga yesterday, quite a lot. And I can use it for capital first.

It was also impossible for me to go to work at the restaurant again after my marriage and Yoga were cancelled by her parents. If I still left, it would be awkward to meet Bian in person at the restaurant.

Not to mention if Bian's parents forbid Bian from coming to the restaurant because I was there, wouldn't it make things difficult.

The decision to resign from the restaurant and open your own business in a new environment is the best choice. I'm not running away from reality. I just don't want to make things worse. I want everything to go back as usual even if my marriage is off. That is with me who left, enough I have to go, and everything will go back to normal as usual.

All day I was in my room, in the afternoon I just came out because Juna kept pounding on my room telling me to eat.

By the time I got out the tent and the decorations in front of the house were gone. Everything's been cleared up. The food that mom and the neighbors had made was distributed to the neighbors, rather than the missionaries.

His uncle and family also returned home. My home is like a normal day, there are only mama, papa, me, and Juna.

I saw a disappointed look on my mother's face.

" I'm sorry Raya ma, everything is indeed wrong Raya" I said intentionally speaking first.

But suddenly my mother cried until she sobbed.

" Don't love, everything is not your fault, everything is indeed the fault of the mother, who wants you to get married soon. If you weren't in a hurry to get you married, maybe today's events never happened. Maybe Shaka is still at home, and we don't have to experience all this" she said.

" No ma, maybe all of this has to happen. So that we learn in the future do not have to hope Raya will get married, because there will be things like today again".

I also conveyed the plan I had thought of while in the room earlier. Mama and Papa obviously disagree, but Juna is different, she supports my plan.

" Let Kak Raya live in a new place, if mama and papa are worried, I can invite Kak Raya to stay with me in the city. Later brother can start a business there".

" Saka's with her dad, and I think she'll be fine with her rich dad. I think Shaka's big enough to make the decision to choose who to stay with ".

" Kak Raya cannot continue here, she also cannot continue to work at a restaurant owned by her former husband-to-be. Therefore mama and papa must support Kak Raya's plan, support her to start a new page in a new place" said Juna.