Healing
83. Don't Want to Be Worn Out
Utari and I started eating without waiting for Bian, either what Bian was doing in the bathroom, really long, maybe his stomach was constipated.
Until Utari and I finished eating, Bian still hadn't left the bathroom. I wondered what he was doing.
" Why hasn't Bian come out yet?, sori I want to go to the bathroom too, afraid Bian needs help" I said, standing up and heading to the bathroom that Bian had entered.
It's true that there's the sound of water running from the faucet inside, I'm pounding on the bathroom door, but there's no answer, "Bi, it's me Kingdom, are you still a long time?, you're still waiting for me?, I want to go in too, kebelet!", I cried.
But there was no answer from inside the bathroom, I tried to open the door by pulling the bathroom door hinge, when the door opened there was no Bian inside. The tap water flows everywhere. I went in and turned off the faucet first, and then walked out quickly to Utari and Yoga.
" Bian wasn't in the bathroom, he was in the bathroom next to the living room?, but when I opened the door, Bian wasn't in it".
Utari stared at Yoga, while Yoga still looked at me intently. " Maybe he went to another room?. So since then the faucet was lit but there was no one in the bathroom?", asked Yoga to me.
I nodded, Yoga immediately stood up and went inside the house, looking for Bian's whereabouts, because don't let Bian into the room where there are many photos of me on display, Bian will know everything.
Yoga immediately asked Ms. Salmi, "Did auntie see Bian coming out of the bathroom?".
Ms. Salmi just shook her head, "Aunty has been in the room for your prayers. Is Mr. Bian not in the bathroom?", asked Ms. Salmi.
" No Bi, try aunty help the others find Bian, let me go upstairs, check from the cctv".
I saw Yoga panicked, was he afraid if Bian knew about our relationship, and knew about our past. If that's true, then I don't have to expect anything more from him. Yoga is not the right man for me.
Maybe the sweet words and promises he's been saying to me are just a lie, everything is still the same as before, nothing has changed.
If Yoga does not want my relationship and himself to be known by Bian and Utari, why did he take us to this house?, he should support my proposal just to go home. But he still insisted on stopping by this house.
Yoga who was still panicking immediately ran up the stairs, and at the end of the stairs Yoga stopped because there was a Bian who was standing up there.
I can see Bian staring at Yoga with an expression I can't understand, Yoga still looks anxious, they both stare at each other without anyone talking.
" Where did you come from?, I think you're still in the bathroom, why is it upstairs?, isn't it impolite to have a house that doesn't exist, but we're wandering around the house", said Yoga with a tone that is made as usual as possible, even though from his expression, he clearly looks panicked.
" Not from anywhere, it's just that Raya's parents called me, under the hard signal, so I went upstairs who knew there was a signal. We have to go home right now, if you and Utari still want to stay here please, I can book a car online". Bian answered Yoga questions in a heavy voice, while going down the stairs without looking at Yoga's face.
Yoga continued to walk to a room on the top floor, precisely the room next to the room that had many paintings of my face.
" Have you forgotten what you said just now?, it's rude to roam around in the house of someone whose owner isn't in the house!', like her you are the type of person who easily forgets your own words" said Bian deliberately insinuating Yoga who continued to enter the room.
" We're going home now Ra, haven't you asked to come home right away?", Bian pulled my hand, his attitude a little harsh, like if he's angry.
" Loh, why hurry to go, we can go home together, we have finished eating. Wait for me to finish the table first for a while, you can enter the car first, we will immediately follow" Utari said as she quickly cleaned up the used living room table we ate earlier.
I felt bad for Utari because she was cleaning her own table, even though we ate together, but I did not dare to talk if Bian was in haunted mode like now. I better obey all Bian's orders, and there's no need to ask questions or protest. As long as it is reasonable and does not harm.
" Oh, the Yoga guy didn't even come out, let me call him first". Utari said when she finished cleaning the table, and threw the paper bag and plastic feeding to the trash.
Though there were still some food that had not been eaten, deliberately leaving it for Bian, too bad to finally remain in exile.
Yoga was seen coming out of the house with a face that I couldn't read. What exactly happened?.
At this time Bian chose to sit in the back with me, and Utari sat in the front with Yoga driving back in the car. Yoga was silent, and so was Bian, the atmosphere became awkward because none of us were talking. Only the sound of rain and wind could be heard.
The rain is still falling, but it is not as bad as it was. It is now 4 pm, chances are we will arrive at the boutique ahead of Maghrib. Yoga turns on the audio in Utari's car to eliminate the silence.
The song 'No Wants to Be After', which was popularized by Keisya Levronka melodiously accompanied our trip.
...~~...
...🎶Standing...
...I turn the time...
...Recollecting...
...You were the one before...
...It's beside me every day...
...So the most comfortable backrest...
...When I am weak when I am tired...
...Ho wo wo...
...Realised...
...I live alone...
...All the impossible...
...I can replay it like it used to...
...I was happy but it was all gone for no reason...
...You stop everything...
...Ho oh oh...
...Wounded and crying but I accepted...
...All the decisions you've made...
...One you should know...
...I'm waiting for you to come back...
...I honestly don't want you to leave...
...Leave everything here...
...Not holding back these tears...
...Remembering everything that has happened...
...I know you're just like me...
...I don't want love to end here...
...But maybe this is the way...
...Got to split ho oh ho...
...Ho ho wo oh...
...Leave everything here...
...Hope someday...
...You and I will meet again...
...Just like you said...
...Before you leave me🎶...
...~~...
" So mama and papa were talking to you?, were they angry you Bi?", I deliberately sat closer to Bian and asked him what I wanted to ask him.
Why Bian immediately wanted to go home when he had agreed to stop by the Yoga house first.
Bian just shook his head. " Nobody is angry, but we should rush home, either me and you, or they are both brides-to-be who will get married in 2 days. True said the parents, you should not go too far, or there will be unwanted things happening. I should have listened to their message, and not flouted their ban lightly".
" You believe in such a myth Bi?, we live in the modern era, not in the past, so why believe a speech based only on the word of people, without a proof", utari said facing back to make it easier to talk with me and Bian.
Bian smirked, "A proof of what you said?, you want to be proof of the myth they say Ri?, do not talk at will, fearing bad events that he said only happened to us, the myth happened to us, do you want our marriage to suddenly be annulled for no apparent reason?", Bian seemed to answer with a face holding in anger.
" All will be well, if we don't do something that crosses the line", Yoga commented, but his gaze was still focused forward.
" How can one not cross the line if one hears words that one should not need to hear?", Bian began to raise his voice.
I don't know what the words mean, and what exactly Bian and Yoga are talking about, I'm honestly still confused.
" I want to ask you Ri, for example..This is just like, suddenly you hear the news if it turns out Steve already has children with other women, do you still want to marry him?", ask Bian to Utari.
Now I've started to know the direction of the conversation the two of them are in. Looks like Bian heard my conversation and Yoga in the living room earlier. When Yoga said that he was the man who used to impregnate me.
" Where might that happen, I know Steve was not close to any girl, Ms. Herni also said if Steve never close to other women, he said, I believed in him and there was no way that Ms. Herni would lie to me", Utari believed in her mother Yoga.
I can't comment, I don't want to talk, I'm afraid my words are making the mood worse. I don't want Bian to get any more angry.
" Now if it were reversed, when you were almost married, but suddenly you heard that Raya already had children from her relationship with other men in her past, would you still marry her?", Yoga was really crazy, she asked him things that could provoke Bian's emotions.
" Of course I will still marry her, why should it be canceled?, if the man who used to be in her past Kingdom still often comes and continues to interfere with our relationship. Then I will not hesitate to make calculations with the man, regardless of who the man is, whether it is a brother, a friend, or even a friend himself, I will still make calculations, he said, I don't want the relationship that I've been in for long enough with Raya to end just like that", Bian said loudly and with great emphasis in some of his sentences.
" Unless.if Raya prefers that man, and loves him more than loves me, then I will let Raya live with the man from her past. And I will be happy for the happiness of the Kingdom".